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Thread: Looking for support

  1. #1

    Default Looking for support

    I'm a new member and I've only recently started to accept the fact that I'm interested in ageplay. I can't shake these feelings of "dirty wrong" and feeling like a pedophile, and I don't know what to do about it.

    I love pacifiers and pretending to be a child, but I still feel wrong when I indulge myself despite the fact that I know I'm not attracted to children or anything like that. I go from feeling wonderful to depressed when I remember how wrong it feels, and I feel as though I'll never be happy. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks.

  2. #2

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    I'm guessing you are new to ageplay, am I correct? This is quite normal early on and your feelings will change over time as you reinforce that what you are doing is OK and that you are in no way a paedophile. I'm sure many people have felt like you have and eventually they do learn to accept it but the key word is eventually as it isn't necessarily going to happen overnight but over several regression periods. Just calm down and remember that this isnn't dirty or wrong but just different and there is nothing wrong with being different.

    If you keep feeling bad about this then just keep asking for more advice here and we'll be able to give you more advice to help you get used to this side of you

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by pajamakitten View Post
    I'm guessing you are new to ageplay, am I correct? This is quite normal early on and your feelings will change over time as you reinforce that what you are doing is OK and that you are in no way a paedophile. I'm sure many people have felt like you have and eventually they do learn to accept it but the key word is eventually as it isn't necessarily going to happen overnight but over several regression periods. Just calm down and remember that this isnn't dirty or wrong but just different and there is nothing wrong with being different.

    If you keep feeling bad about this then just keep asking for more advice here and we'll be able to give you more advice to help you get used to this side of you
    Thank you, I appreciate the support so much. <3

    It's easier said than done, and I know it will take some time to get used to ageplay, but that doesn't stop my mind from running like crazy and shooting nasty accusations at me.

  4. #4

  5. #5

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    It's cognitive dissonance. Wikipedia has a very informative page on the topic which I suggest you read, as it may well help you make sense of your feelings.

    In short, cognitive dissonance is a situation where you have two mutually exclusive viewpoints, and rather than letting one win and the other die, the two coexist in an uneasy truce. The most common examples are given in politics and religion- I can't discount the evidence that says A, but it must be wrong because I *know* B is true! Your situation is somewhat similar: left brain (logic) says one thing, right brain (passion) says something else.

    In no way are age play and pedophilia the same thing. That said, you don't need to examine one for very long and see how it's not unreasonable to infer the other. So it can take a while to train your brain to realize the two are different.

    Personally, I can think of few things hotter than mixing some diaper ageplay into a sexual tryst with my fiancee. But I've also had a lifetime of conditioning that this is different from pedophilia. She, not being ABDL, has not. She finds the idea much creepier than I do. I can't say I don't find it at all unsettling. But I'm at the point where I can set it aside and ignore those feelings knowing that they aren't accurate. It just takes a lot of self-conditioning.

  6. #6

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    Molly, I think NightFox summarizes it very well. The most important thing is realizing that you're in no way doing anything wrong. You are simply being who you were made to be! The most important factor to consider is that you don't allow your LG side to take over the rest of your life. Eventually you will find balance, though it may be a challenge at first. The binge/purge cycle is not unusual, and you may find yourself with continuing oscillations of joy and regret! Ride the wave, and soon things will stabilize. As you come to terms with yourself, life will go on wonderfully.

    I've found as I live into who I am, I'm happer, less judgemental, and more open to the world around me. I also find a different level of peace with myself. At work I even have a teddy bear in my cubicle, and no one minds - they think he's cute. You'll find ways to express yourself that are wholesome and true to you. And what you do at home is your own business.

    I think of it this way - diapers are so much better than drinking or drugs or other ways of indulging personal needs.

    Wishing you the very best!

  7. #7

    Default

    NightFox and BachBrahms have said it very well. If this is something you've only recently accepted, I think it's normal to feel wrong sometimes. Although I've had ABDL feelings for a long time, I only really accepted them a few weeks ago. So I know what it's like to indulge, feel like a freak afterwards, and swear it off, only to come back again.

    Putting reasonable limits on your practice really helps. This helped me avoid binging and purging, and kept me in control of my desires. Also, joining this site has been really helpful. It's just nice to be able to openly say "I like diapers!" (or ageplay), and have a community of people who understand you.

    Take some time to explore your feelings, and find a balance that works for you. This alone will make a big difference. And remember: you are NOT a freak. Being different makes you normal! (as weird as it seems, it's true. If you weren't different in any way, that would be really weird).

    Also, seeig that you're a Christian, here's something to remember: "All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out" (John 6:37). No matter what anyone says to you, or what you say to yourself, God says that you're His child and won't ever be thrown out.

    All the best!

  8. #8

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    The only thing I can add to the excellent posts is that pedophilia is a sexual attractive to a pre-pubescent child. If you are not sexually attracted to a child, you are not a pedophile. The rest is about accepting yourself despite wanting to be a young child, wearing diapers, etc. Really, it's no one's business except your own. God understands us and loves us. Think about it; we harm no one, and often we are better people than most. We are the gentle ones. How can God not like that.

  9. #9

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    I agree with a lot of the others, I've had an interests in ab/dl before I actually knew what it was, but I still struggle with fully accepting it. I do accept it more then I did a few years back to say the least though, and I think knowing there are some pretty nice people who are also into it, and 99.9% you wouldn't know they were ab/dl if you were never told, has helped. I find it even more shocking when seeing the amount of people who like ageplay (not abdl), I know the internet isn't the best for accurate number but still its something I wouldn't have guessed (kind getting off-topic I know).

    Anyways, in basic, I think it is pretty normal to have that "dirty" feeling, especially only recently starting. I've been on here long enough to see quite a few members go through the same issues. Usually it just takes time, and maybe some support/help, but yeah. Personally I think having some friends who are ageplayers can help, as long as it isn't just a friendship because you both like ageplay. Personal experience though, and hell most of my ab friends I rarely even think of them as being well ABs xD. If any of that makes any sense O_O

  10. #10

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    MollyJolly, Here's a little something that helped me when I first began to realize this about myself:
    Whenever I began to imagine what others would think of my age play I'd imagine their ideas filling a balloon, then floating away. Then I'd think about why *I* do what I do.
    Usually I'd picture myself happy, sitting on the ground in my diaper, watching balloons float by.

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