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Thread: Guidance/Coercion

  1. #1

    Default Guidance/Coercion

    I know that this was more common many years ago (60's, 70's and 80's) than it is today, especially with the attitudes regarding how it could be construed as child abuse, but how many of you had some guidance or coercion into dressing as the opposite gender? This could also be answered from the standpoint of whether or not you have someone who knows and supports/helps you with it today.

    My example was that I was not out of daytime diapers by the time I entered kindergarten. My mother had me wear my sister's old dresses and skirts quite often for two reasons: first, that it was easier to change my diaper when she had direct access to it, second, that the humiliation and embarrassment of being put in my sister's clothes may motivate me to get out of diapers.

    Later on, the summer before I started high school, I asked my mother what it was like to be a girl (what do you expect from a curious kid who is almost 14). Her suggestion was for me to dress up to get some understanding. When she found out I didn't mind the clothes, she asked if I would ever wear them again if she made them available for me. I didn't realize that answering 'yes' meant I would have my own girl's clothing.

    Your stories?

  2. #2


    Dang girl, you are so lucky, if I had ever told or asked my parents that at any time in my life, I'm not sure what they would do but it wouldn't be as awesome as that! Hope it stays great!

  3. #3


    Believe me, I didn't always consider myself 'lucky'. My first times that I wore when little were because I still needed diapers and I often got berated by my mother for being in diapers at my age.

    A lot of why I was so agreeable when it came to dressing up when I was older depended on several reasons. I was the only boy with a sister and two stepsisters and my mother and stepfather treated me as 'second-class' because of it. After all, girls were prim and proper and always behaved while boys were rambunctious and wild. It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I finally found out my mother never wanted a son in the first place and she regretted giving birth to me. Throw in there an extremely bitter divorce with my father (who I looked and acted like exactly, mom hated this to no end), and the encouragement to switch genders was pretty strong. I found I got extra attention and affection when dressed, it was something I craved deeply.

    Once I found the lady who later became my wife (August makes 20 years for us!), I found I could be who I really was inside without an issue. She accepted me as who I truly was and gave me the attention and affection I so badly craved.

  4. #4


    AnalogRTO, that is very sad to hear you didn't have such a "fun" childhood. I am glad to know that you (like myself) has found someone to help you though your life now. I didn't have that kind of issues, but I do believe that my upbringing played a big role in the way I am today.

  5. #5


    I have been talking to a therapist about it, and I too realize that much of what I went through growing up has made me who I am today. I am ecstatic to have my wife supporting me the way she does, and I understand that much of the way I treat her came about from how I saw boys treating girls at school and discussions with my mom and sister/stepsisters about boys and the way I could expect to be treated as a girl. I did have a few interactions myself with boys, and most went well, but I understood that treating a girl like dirt was not a way to make them care about you. I think I'm a lot more understanding of what my wife deals with and helpful because of what I went through.

    At the same time, all of the stuff that went on could seriously have screwed me up and made it difficult for me to trust women overall, but I think I was lucky in that I had an aunt who helped with raising me and she was absolutely loving and nurturing to no end. Together with my wife, they have taught me that not all women are narcissistic and nasty like my mother.

  6. #6


    Well stay strong and believe in yourself and you will come out a better person every day!

  7. #7


    Wow, AnalogRTO. I found out in my early 20's that my mom didn't want a son either and wanted a daughter instead. For the longest of times I couldn't reconcile that part of my aspect but the longer that I have embraced this feminine aspect the more comfortable and confident I feel. At times, my mom now says that she wishes that I lived by her. Unfortunately, due to a previous reaction when I was experimenting with my sexuality my mom told me that she wished I had killed myself. Very long story but I am so very grateful that I have friends (my family of choice now) that accept both my AB/DL, TG, and sexuality that I doubt I would ever choose to seclude/ deny that ever again.

    In terms of being dressed up, I don't remember anything about being dressed in girl clothes, but I was the youngest and only boy while being raised so it was much easier to understand feminine habits/ ideas. Also, every time that I tried to hang around my step-father my mom would put a barrier between us by saying "He isn't your son." Looking back at my past I can see and understand why it is natural for me to want to dress and even embrace my sissy/ female side much easier.

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