Some of you might remember me, several years back, as the guy who introduced the idea of post-climax regret, and the guy who wanted to quit diapers.
I was 18/19 then and am 21 now.
Have I quit diapers?
For the past 2 years I have still used diapers for masturbation purposes. However I introduced more and more normal porn; also I've had lots of sex. Like 10 girls. I think...
Also I quit browsing the site to indulge my diaper fantasies. I have also consciously tried to associate sexual libido when I see girls. -.-
Anyway; lately I've been on a long binge/purge cycle.
With access, I haven't worn a diaper for 5 months now.
However, I still get thoughts about diapers and I masturbate to diaper porn as well as guy on girl porn.
* In alot of my dreams I'm always in a situation where I'm looking for diapers, or am just about to wear one when something happens. I guess this means my id is attempting to find diapers but my ego, super-ego is repressing my natural instinct. However I have seen 2-3 naked and pretty girls in my dreams which never happened before.
It's strange because when I think about diapers I get an erection but I only get an erection from looking at heterosexual porn.
No matter how hard I try, if I look at a sexy naked chick I can't get a boner.
The reason why I want to quit diapers is because I only want sex with girls to be my kink. I always hated the fact that I had this fetish and for the past 4 years have been actively trying to delete it from my mind.
It's admittedly hard work but I have definitely suppressed my urges to wear diapers and am having sex with normal girls... Either that or my binge/purge cycle is in months now.
Perhaps it will elongate to year binge/purges...
How long can I keep this up? Can I completely stop diapers?
I will write back.
* One method I used to help disassociate myself is to think bad stuff whenever I think about diapers. I think it's called negative association in psychology. Think A Clockwork Orange.
Or I associate last minute with pretty naked chicks.
Well I guess it has increased my attraction to pretty chicks in diapers but when I look at pictures with them I look at the diaper more so.
Another method I use is when I get the urge to masturbate to girl/guy porn I just do it.
please don't flame me.
** It would be nice to find similar people who are trying to quit diapers.
I know this might offend some of you guys but I never understood how you can just accept something so strange and kooky.
This fetish isn't like a tickling, toe, or a boob fetish, which I could probably accept.
It is too weird for me.
I just want to be normal, in love with girls how heterosexual men should be.
Am I in the wrong?
---------- Post added at 20:21 ---------- Previous post was at 20:02 ----------
I think another important part of quitting is focusing on other areas of life; I've just been really busy lately.
It's so weird that I used to go to this site so much in my late teens and I haven't logged in or thought of logged in until just now.
AH yes. And another reason why I don't like my diaper fetish is because I think I got it by accident.
When I was growing from 8-12, there was some misparenting and maybe I didn't feel 'babied' enough or treated like a child. That's when I looked to diapers to relive my 'youth'. But I think it was an accident. What if I hadn't seen the diapers? Surely I would've looked towards something else?
As this was going on, I was supposed to be developing my sexual attraction and this is where I think the wiring went wrong and the brain messed up. Hence...
Yeah I do remember the first time I came I was wearing a diaper for fun, and I was pretending to be a baby and was dry humping a pillow ( I was 10/11). I think I might've said "goo goo gaga" in my head.. And then the cum came out and I didn't know what it was.
I feel f***ed up sometimes. hahaha