I recently had the opportunity to tell a close friend of mine (with whom I am not involved with sexually) about my AB/DL/Ageplay side. We were having a conversation about fetishes and BDSM and the like. I told her that I was into alternative sexual things, and she said I could tell her if I wanted. I had gone into the conversation willing to tell her, but after some thinking on my part, I decided against it.
I got some insight on how to proceed from considering some advice I heard on Dan Savage's podcast. The gist was that someone into AB/DL things was considering telling their roommate about it. His response was, basically, "How would you feel if your roomate told you 'by the way, I eat my feces in the morning while in the shower?'" Granted, this is an extreme example, but it illustrates a great point. If you're not involved with someone sexually, your fetish is probably a bit too much information. That isn't to say that you shouldn't tell them, or you can't tell them; but generally if it's not relevant to your relationship, it could end up making things more awkward than anything else.
Woohoo. I used my good ol' noggin and logic'd my way out of telling her, but my heart was still a bit confused.
"So what the heck?" I thought to myself. "Why do I still feel like telling her on some level? And why do I feel like crap?"
For me, the answer to that question is that I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to say "Hey, look at this part of me, do you still accept me?" I was feeling insecure. I wasn't completely accepting that part of myself. All of this focus on wanting to be accepted gave me a sort of tunnel vision, with only my little side in view.
I lost track of the big picture: I am much more than just my little side. I have people that accept most of me without question! I have real life friends, I have my family, and I have everyone here that I can turn to if I am feeling like I need reassurance. I have awesome people in my life that I can have great times with because we all love and accept each other.
It's from this solid base that I find I can be more accepting of myself as a whole. The desire to tell other people about my fetish to get their acceptance turns into a desire to let more of my little side into my personality in general because I don't have to feel ashamed. I'm me, and I don't need anyone to tell me whether I'm awesome or not.
I realize this post was a bit long, so thanks so much for reading it! Writing it helped me process some things, and I hope reading it can help in a similar way for anyone that needs it. I'm interested to hear anyone's thoughts on what I've said, or for people to share their similar experiences to provide everyone with inspiration!