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Thread: ABDL Feelings half a fetish?

  1. #1

    Default ABDL Feelings half a fetish?

    Can someone only have half a fetish. When I'm padded, only sometimes is it "that way" most of the time it's a completely different rush, a sort of giggly pleasure and deep contentmant quite unrelated to sexual matters. To me a fetish is something that always brings forth sexual feelings, and to me its not.

    Any thoughts?

  2. #2

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    Guess your half right lol no really its ok to have fetish without sexuallality, theirs so many fetishs within the ab scene and some turns some on and others not

  3. #3

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    I can relate to what you're saying. The way I can kinda wrap my mind around it is that while I have my little part of myself that I really have fun letting out in a non-sexual way, I'm still my whole self, so sometimes sexual things will come up in that context. Whether sexuality is involved depends mostly on my mood, but also depends on what context me letting my little side out is happening in.

    In my case, my ABDL things started as a fetish pretty much exclusively. As I grew to understand that the fetish was pointing me towards a part of myself that I really enjoy, take comfort from, and am proud of, the focus became more on letting go and having fun with my little side than a physical attraction to diapers and baby things. Both are still there for me, and I'm comfortable with that. Fetish or not, whatever I decide to label it, it's a part of who I am.

    I realize this is just from my perspective, but I hope you can relate so it can provide you with some insight.

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    That's exactly how my feelings progressed, LilPolarBear. Well said!

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    This is the way I look at being an Ab/Dl, usually I like to wear and cub out often just so it makes a stronger connection to the child in me rather than my sexual desires that occasionally appear. I feel like that the more often i get to cub out, the less often i feel the need to fulfill sexual desires.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by LilPolarBear View Post
    I can relate to what you're saying. The way I can kinda wrap my mind around it is that while I have my little part of myself that I really have fun letting out in a non-sexual way, I'm still my whole self, so sometimes sexual things will come up in that context. Whether sexuality is involved depends mostly on my mood, but also depends on what context me letting my little side out is happening in.

    In my case, my ABDL things started as a fetish pretty much exclusively. As I grew to understand that the fetish was pointing me towards a part of myself that I really enjoy, take comfort from, and am proud of, the focus became more on letting go and having fun with my little side than a physical attraction to diapers and baby things. Both are still there for me, and I'm comfortable with that. Fetish or not, whatever I decide to label it, it's a part of who I am.

    I realize this is just from my perspective, but I hope you can relate so it can provide you with some insight.
    That is truly profound, and sums up my own experience almost exactly. The emotional and the sexual are innately and inevitably linked in all of us I think; I believe that many things that are viewed by some as kinky or paraphilic turn-ons are really the fulfilling of certain sorts of emotional needs, the form of which is dictated in many ways by our individual psychological development. You could say the whole diaper thing got my attention because it turned me on, and by exploration of that I eventually discovered the marvelous myriad of emotional needs that being an adult baby can satisfy. I love discussions that explore the origins and psychological bases of ABDLism, if this also interests you keep an eye out for my posts. Great post, and great initial question, thanks guys!

  7. #7

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    I get what you mean - the whole AB/DL thing is half fetish and half not fetish for me. LiPolarBear pretty much summed it all up for me too.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by SirStinkypants View Post
    That is truly profound, and sums up my own experience almost exactly. The emotional and the sexual are innately and inevitably linked in all of us I think; I believe that many things that are viewed by some as kinky or paraphilic turn-ons are really the fulfilling of certain sorts of emotional needs, the form of which is dictated in many ways by our individual psychological development. You could say the whole diaper thing got my attention because it turned me on, and by exploration of that I eventually discovered the marvelous myriad of emotional needs that being an adult baby can satisfy. I love discussions that explore the origins and psychological bases of ABDLism, if this also interests you keep an eye out for my posts. Great post, and great initial question, thanks guys!
    I agree that emotional and sexual desires are very deeply intertwined. Looking at my own life, and at the writings of other ABDLs, it seems like this fetish is an attempt to fulfill some kind of emotional need. But what? Maybe it's different for everybody.

    In my case, from a young age, I was seen as a smart kid, but really struggled socially. I didn't have a lot of friends in elementary school, and sought approval from parents and teachers by doing well in school. I guess I always had to be a bit more 'grown-up' than my biological age suggested. But being the mature one all the time can get stressful. I think this is one reason I like the idea of regressing to be like a baby or a toddler. After trying so hard to be the strong, mature one, I can be a helpless little baby who still wears diapers. A strange way of fulfilling the need, but it does make sense.

    Is anyone else's experience similar to this? Or should I give up on my dream of being an Internet psychologist?

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adventurer View Post
    I agree that emotional and sexual desires are very deeply intertwined. Looking at my own life, and at the writings of other ABDLs, it seems like this fetish is an attempt to fulfill some kind of emotional need. But what? Maybe it's different for everybody.

    In my case, from a young age, I was seen as a smart kid, but really struggled socially. I didn't have a lot of friends in elementary school, and sought approval from parents and teachers by doing well in school. I guess I always had to be a bit more 'grown-up' than my biological age suggested. But being the mature one all the time can get stressful. I think this is one reason I like the idea of regressing to be like a baby or a toddler. After trying so hard to be the strong, mature one, I can be a helpless little baby who still wears diapers. A strange way of fulfilling the need, but it does make sense.

    Is anyone else's experience similar to this? Or should I give up on my dream of being an Internet psychologist?
    I'm nearly certain it is at least somewhat different for everybody, as we are all complex bundles of psychological factors and it likely requires a conspiracy of at least a few of them to make an AB, a DL, etc. I have known at least one AB whose story sounds a lot like yours, and have read posts by others here and on Daily Diapers that are similar. Myself? I recently started a fascinating discussion thread on Daily Diapers. Here is the post I started it with, enjoy!:

    "Hiya folks!

    I have been a DL for many years and have only recently started exploring (and really enjoying) being an AB. This change has occurred largely because I started dating a woman several years my senior, and, though she had never before been into diapers and such before now, she finds both great emotional satisfaction and sexual stimulation from playing the role of mommy for me. In recent years, I have been gaining some enormous insights into my own psychology in other ways, and have been finding that through my AB experiences that I am gaining yet more. I believe I can at this point shed at least some light on why I am an ABDL, and I thought this might be illuminating to others with AB tendencies seeking to understand themselves as well as an interesting topic for discussion.

    A good primer for a psychological discussion on infantilism may be found at AB Information, it is actually the one from the now defunct DPF website that seems to have been borrowed. My own case is different than those discussed, but there are important notions discussed here.

    Basically, I am an AB primarily because of elements of how my psychology developed in early childhood. My mother and I had an unusually close emotional relationship throughout my childhood; she was my best friend through much of it, and a needed defender from my rather angry and violent older sister. She was also a juxtaposition to my father, who was rather emotionally distant from both she and I (and pretty much everyone). He was also in many ways married to his work, and thus not around much. In some ways, it might be said I took over my father's proper role of emotional support for my mother far too young, indeed I was to take over most elements of the "man of the house" role somewhat younger than appropriate.

    My parents remained married until I was 14, but they were not close through that whole period to my recollection. My dad does not really now how to relate to people emotionally even now, so you could say that he is incapable of being close to anyone. This is due to his own psychology, and as such blame is inappropriate. He was never an abusive man nor a Mr. Macho, and I've never really doubted that he loves me. He just finds emotional matters very difficult to express and to receive, and as such I pity him. I think in some ways we are closer now than we ever have been, which is still not that close...

    As for ABism, there are several factors discussed above that play into it I think. I am told I was resistant to potty training; it was not achieved until I was almost 3 and then with a threat to keep me out of pre-school. I think this resistance was partly due to the prospect of losing that special bonding ritual of the diaper change with my mother, partly due to not wanting to be "big boy" if that meant being like my father, and partly because of a third factor I have yet to mention.

    In my study of myself and my childhood, I have discovered what appears to be a power relationship between my mother and myself that I have until recently been unaware of. The child depending on the mother emotionally is natural; the mother depending on the child emotionally is probably not so. Whether or no, it gives the child power over the mother he or she would not usually have. What do you suppose happened when that power was challenged by the first time in life anything was really expected of me?

    There were of course other manifestations to this "I don't want to grow up" mentality, many of which persist to this day. I was big into stuffed animals rather long into my childhood, for instance; I slept with a stuffed killer whale into my 20's (still not sure why I stopped, saved a perception that girlfriends might find it unmanly). There are also numerous examples of how I psychologically try to duck adult responsibilities, often with disastrous results.

    There are elements to my maternal relationship that are similar to (though surely not the same as) sexual abuse, especially if you factor in the freudian association of mother and lover (I am male, so the more so). I'd swear she was more than a little jealous of my first girlfriend (which seemed strange at the time), and it was about then that the closeness we had once enjoyed came to a close.

    I do not for a moment believe my mother meant me any harm by anything she did, or even realized the potential for such. But as a human being and a woman in a loveless marriage, an offer of real intimacy from someone she'd be expected to be intimate with on some level anyway was probably irresistible. She has her own psychological scars that left her open to such a thing, and, though I perceive harmful effects to some parts of our relationship, it is far more useful to correctly perceive what happened than it is to lay blame. We are still pretty close today, and we discuss these things (not the AB side of it!)

    I am finding being an AB both instructive and therapeutic. My "mommy" is in some ways like my mother, indeed my lovers always have been in one way or another. If people get into this thread, I'll post more about her psychology, but suffice it to say she is a willing and even enthusiastic mommy. In playing out the baby role (toddler, actually) moreso than ever before, I am able to perceive a similar affection and power relationship to the one I must've had with my mother at that age. Marvelously instructive! It's therapeutic in the sense that if I'm allowed to be a complete baby sometimes, I can be a more complete big boy when dealing with the big bad world.

    So, what do you folks think? Anything ring a bell about my story, or possibly you can offer a different analysis? We can discuss me, but I'm really interested in YOUR ideas about where YOU think YOUR AB tendencies come from. Look forward to reading about it!

    Oh, and feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc. I will post more if we get a good discussion going! "

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adventurer View Post
    In my case, from a young age, I was seen as a smart kid, but really struggled socially. I didn't have a lot of friends in elementary school, and sought approval from parents and teachers by doing well in school. I guess I always had to be a bit more 'grown-up' than my biological age suggested. But being the mature one all the time can get stressful. I think this is one reason I like the idea of regressing to be like a baby or a toddler. After trying so hard to be the strong, mature one, I can be a helpless little baby who still wears diapers. A strange way of fulfilling the need, but it does make sense.

    Is anyone else's experience similar to this? Or should I give up on my dream of being an Internet psychologist?
    Sounds just like me! I was a really smart kid, but spent playtimes at primary school playing parlour games with the dinner ladies instead of playing tag with other kids! At middle school (age 9), I used to pick a subject I was interested in and copy out information and drawings from reference books onto long scrolls made from sheets of paper stuck together and randomly hand it to my teacher (I mean -- it wasn't homework or anything! I must've been the only kid handing in work that hadn't even been set! God, I was weird! I suppose I sort of assumed that because she was a teacher, she liked reading kids' work and would appreciate an extra essay to read!?)

    Anyway, I've wondered for years whether there's some "common thread" that caused AB/DL-ism, but I've come to the conclusion that, there's almost certainly no single cause, but I vaguely get the impression that, like you and I, a lot of people find others that think they have a similar cause of AB/DL-ism. Without any facts to hand, and purely based on an unscientific "impression", I'd tentatively guess that maybe there are a small number of common causes... say, maybe 10 common causes that account for 85% of AB/DLs...? That's a totally ignorant guess, however!

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