I'm NOT bragging or advocating the use of marijuana by any means so don't even start! Anyway, I have been going through depression lately due to a number of things including my career troubles (I'm a professional musician/entertainer), loneliness and a feeling of helplessness. I feel helpless because being legally blind I can't go where I want to when I want to and do what I want to. I feel lonely because I don't have a girlfriend because I don't get out much unless I'm gigging and offstage I'm kinda shy and while the band is sounding AMAZING and is getting more gigs lately (1-4 a week), it's just stressful for me dealing with asshole club owners and all these different personalities in the band and keeping everything together. Also, being legally blind (which btw means i CAN see but not enough to drive or get around in places I'm not familiar with) means I can't get diapers to satisfy my AB/DL side. Anyway, my dad, who is the band's rhythm guitarist and helps me get around ect. has noticed I've been suffering from depression and has offered my some of the anti-depressant he takes and while they kind of work for, I just don't like the feeling I get from them. They kind of make me jittery and that makes it hard for me to sleep (did I mention I'm already a night-owl/insomniac that has sleep paralysis.) People notice I'm a bit more relaxed and open-up/become friendly when I've been drinking but while that helps me at the moment, it doesn't help me sleep very well. ANYWAY (and sorry to ramble), everyone but me smokes pot in the band and the band's crew, and I've turned it down for years because I was never interested, but a couple of nights ago when one of my guitarists was smoking a joint and I asked to try it. It made me feel so much better! But my dad (who smokes) made me feel so bad about it that now I feel so guilty! Do you guys think it's a bad thing. It's the only thing I've found that works.