Hopefully this won't be offensive to anybody, but I don't really know where else to go.
My husband is an AB/DL. I've slowly grown to live with it over the years, and pretend to be a willing participant, so we don't fight about it endlessly. It's a sore spot in our marriage. He doesn't enjoy "normal" sex anymore. He either has to have a diaper on, or I have to talk about him being a baby. He wants me to participate, and tells me what he wants. But when I try, he just gets all mad and pouty, and says it's not enough and that I'm unsupportive of him and his life. He yells. I try to capitulate. He knows I hate changing him, and even though I do it, he insists I learn to actually enjoy it, because it wrecks HIS experience. My feelings in the matter somehow don't matter at all. If I try to express myself at all, I'm just being a bad wife. It's all very ugly, and I've thought many, many times about divorce. The ONLY thing keeping me here are our kids. I feel very rejected as a spouse. I feel like he only married me to turn me into his "mommy," and now I'm stuck and alone.
Anyway, I'm sorry for dumping all this on you guys, but I'm so desparate for help. I'm bawling as I write this. You guys have so many support networks online, but I can't find ANYTHING for spouses. NOTHING. I have a hard time believing that I'm the only one living through this and having issues. Councelling isn't an option, because he would have to watch the kids, and he would refuse to, because it would mean me telling someone else in our town about his diapers, and that would be completely unacceptable to him. I feel so isolated. PLEASE, if anyone has a wife or significant other out there who has found some sort of help or support or comeraderie of any kind in the world, please, please, PLEASE, let me know where they are.
Thanks for any help