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Thread: Help

  1. #1

    Default Help

    I don't even know where to start. I'm having a really hard time in life right now. I think I am trans-sexual and AB but no one knows and I'm scared. I think I would be coping fine if it were one or the other. But the tricky thing is I don't feel like coming out as trans will help me at all because I would feel like I would still be holding back. Like it's not the whole story and I would still be faking who I am because I still don't feel comfortable dressing in "male" clothing. I feel like I'm a trans-sexual sissy. That is, born female, but feel I am male and think that the only clothing I feel like myself in in sissy clothing. I'm really struggling. I'm very depressed and isolated and have not been able to work because of depression and anxiety. I want nothing more than to be engaging in life and to be a contributing member of society but feel it's the suppressing of who I am that causes to me to not be able to function.
    Last edited by checkinitout; 08-Jan-2012 at 10:03.

  2. #2


    Well, here is the important thing i have learned, finding a middle ground is what it is all about. You have to reason with yourself and make times for you to be a sissy, suppressing yourself will only increase your depression, because you said so yourself about holding back on who you really are. You don't have to "come out" and tell everyone, but just the people who really matter, that would be accepting of it, and even then the only person you should really need to tell is your special someone. Make time for yourself to be a sissy is my best advice, enduring depression isn't worth it, because if you are like the rest of us, thoughts of regression don't really go away, but when you make regular time for yourself, the depression seems to go away.
    Well best of wishes, I don't have much advice about being a Trans, but i know that there are some on here that do. And welcome to Adisc

  3. #3

  4. #4


    You are a person, not a gender stereotype. The important thing is that you find a way to live your life in a way where you are satisfied. You can't do that if you allow yourself to spiral into a depressive hole.

    If you actually want to literally become anatomically female and live your life as a woman, then you're transsexual. If you just like to dress up, you have a common male fetish.

    I really like to cross-dress sometimes too. In fact, I often gravitate towards the girl AB clothing over the boy stuff. And I have a female plushy kitty I like to keep with me. But, I know that I'm not transsexual because I don't actually consider myself female or desire an intimate male relationship. From what I understand, the cross-dressing fetish is one of the more common male fetishes. Few men would openly admit to it. Nonetheless, it's probably very common because it's well-known (unlike ABDL-ism) and often portrayed in movies and pop-culture.

    Part of you might wish to become a woman. But, examine that feeling. Would you really want to go through with that? Would that truly make you happy and give you the peace you are looking for; or are you fooling yourself? Maybe you merely want to have the right to be soft and gentle?

    Like it or not, you are male. It's written in the genes that control every cell in your body. No surgery can change that. Maybe you just want to buck the male stereotype. Maybe your soul is actually longing for you to be yourself without guilt.

    I suggest the possibility that your wish to be female could be an escape path for tender feelings. After all, who could blame you for feeling "feminine" if you were female? I think that these ideas of "masculinity" and "femininity" are just delusions of our society. In the end, people are people. Some men are gentle and some women are tough.

    Last edited by KitsBunny; 09-Jan-2012 at 01:00.

  5. #5


    Ah, are you saying that you feel like a male, but were born as a female? (That's what I got out of your post, so I'm sorry if I'm incorrect.) That's a completely different thing from being an adult baby, which in itself is different from being a 'sissy'. That isn't to say that you can't be all of those things at the same time! People are made up of tons of little things like this, but that doesn't mean that any one of them have to define you as a person.

    I think it may help to break down your problems into different parts, and then look at each one differently. Starting with the AB thing, that isn't something that very many people are 'out' about, except to their significant other. It isn't something that most people need to know. But seeing as how this is an TB/AB/DL site, I'm sure you can get plenty of help with how to cope with those feelings. Plenty of us have been there. ^ ^

    As far as the potential transsexualism goes, that is something that is going to take a lot of personal reflection. You're going to really have to think about who you are, and then what you want to do about that. I would suggest counselling to help figure out what you want. It's hard to really say anything given the fact that we don't know you. You say that you feel like you're a male, so I'd like to ask (if you don't mind): what does being male mean to you?

    The third thing is the sissy part. Male or female, it isn't really something that one can get away with doing all the time. There's a time and a place for it, and as Tyger said, it's all about finding a balance.

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