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Thread: What to do..

  1. #1

    Default What to do..

    I feel i have lost all my friends over time, i have nothing in common with the people i once hung out with. They are all into drugs and partying. I feel lost and misplaced, i havent finished hs, im in a dead end job working with the people i knew from hs, but they act as if ive done something wrong. But im really nice to everyone. I dont know what to do.

  2. #2

    Default

    Near the end of High School I stopped hanging out with lots of my old friends regularily because I wasn't into the party scene. Not big on drinking personally, and when that's what everyone else is doing, it's not so easy to be around. Ended up hanging out more and more with some other people I knew and became "better" friends with them over time. Not that I still don't hang out with my old friends from time to time, but it's different now. Moving around after HS and college changes stuff too.

    Point is that friendships change and evolve as people grow and as new folks come in and out of your life. Being in between friendships can be strange, and sometimes you can feel socially disconected I guess. But the world is full of people who like being friends with other people. A big part of relationships is compromise, and a big part of starting relationships is just putting yourself out there. If you want to hang out with people, you can't jsut expect the world to come to you, ya know? Ask someone to do something, and as relationships start to form, be willing to accept that you might not have a lot in common. Good friendships can share a lot of common ground, but they don't have to, and it can be lovely either way. I have a buddy who is totally red neck and our common interests could be counted on one hand, but we get along well. Similarliy, I have friends who I enjoy a lot of the same things as. Different sorts of relationships, but both good kinds.

    People to be friends with aren't super tough to find. Work, school, church, clubs or any sort of recreational setting are good places to meet people. And with each of these there's a bit of common ground to get to know people. You just have to be willing to say "hey, what are doing later on?". Maybe see a movie or some band coming through town or go fishing or play boccee or whatever. Conversations can lead to super fun times. Maybe you gt to know someone better, maybe things click, maybe they don't. Nothing ventured, nothing gained I guess. But having moved around a few times now, I've learned that getting to know people just takes a bit of initiative - it generally goes pretty well. Doesn't always turn into the closest friendship, but it doesn't have to. You connect with people through different things on different levels, and that's totally cool.

    So yeah, guess I'd suggest to make an effort to get to know people and hang out. Be willing to listen more than you like to talk, be willing to try new things, an be willing to take the first step in a new friendship.

  3. #3

    Default

    People grow and change. Of all the friends I had in High School, I only talk to two and that rarely.

  4. #4

    Default

    When you said that you had not finished high school, do you mean that you are still in school and have not completed it yet ? Or, do you mean that you are not in school now, and did not complete high school ?

  5. #5

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    I changed a lot during high school, and changed who I hung out with, from hood to preppy. If you dropped out of high school, I would consider going to a junior college and getting your GED. You would meet different people, and those who want to better themselves. So often, people become the kind of person they hang out with, so be careful. You should dump the druggy friends and find new ones. Once you have your GED, think about a career. Even while working, you could take one course at a time. It's better than doing nothing about it.

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I changed a lot during high school, and changed who I hung out with, from hood to preppy. If you dropped out of high school, I would consider going to a junior college and getting your GED. You would meet different people, and those who want to better themselves. So often, people become the kind of person they hang out with, so be careful. You should dump the druggy friends and find new ones. Once you have your GED, think about a career. Even while working, you could take one course at a time. It's better than doing nothing about it.
    Excellent advise, dogboy. I was going to suggest the same thing, that's why I asked my questions. If you are still in school, Littlejustin, hang in there and finish high school. Then do what dogboy suggested.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by fifigal View Post
    When you said that you had not finished high school, do you mean that you are still in school and have not completed it yet ? Or, do you mean that you are not in school now, and did not complete high school ?
    Well i was supposed to graduate in 2010, but i took care of my dad for about a year when he had cancer, then a guy on a bicycle came flying down this mountain by our school and hit my car, he was going 40 in a school zone, and then people kept saying i killed a kid/woman....you name it i killed it, i couldnt handle it so i stopped going to school my senior year.

  8. #8

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    I am sorry for the misfortune you have had to deal with, Littlejustin. Your decision to not become involved in doing drugs, and recognizing that your current job is not what you want to be stuck doing, is proof that you are no fool. There is still plenty of time change your path. I really hope that you do take dogboy's advise. Get back to school. Get your GED, and then continue on with school. Start off with general education classes until you find a subject of study that you really like, and are interested in. Put the past behind you, and start fresh. Make your life what you want it to be. You have my best wishes, Littlejustin. Take care.
    Last edited by fifigal; 05-Jan-2012 at 02:30.

  9. #9
    Butterfly Mage

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    I didn't maintain any friendships from High School for the same reasons you mentioned: they all became drug-addicted losers. Those aren't the kinds of "friends" you need in your life. A lot of people meet nice friends through a shared religious community. Others meet nice friends through shared hobbies. You might look into those possibilities.

  10. #10
    WarrenW

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    If your friends are doing drugs. you are better off being alone.

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