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Thread: It starting again...

  1. #1

    Default It starting again...

    Hey everyone,

    I used to on a no loner existing forum a long time ago when going through my exploration phase of figuring out who I was. It was a long a difficult journey. Fortunately, I have a wonderful woman in my life, now my wife, that was able to be there with me the whole way and allow me the freedom to figure out who I was.

    Over the past 2 years I have actually been completely diaper free. It was a hard fought battle, and its not that I detest wearing diapers. On the contrary, I enjoy it, but have realized that there is a time and a place for everything. For me the use of a diaper was more comfort after having a bad day. I didn't go big into regression, and no sexual play was involved. For me the wearing and wetting of a diaper was nothing more than stress relief.

    After getting through the tough patch in my life, I have come to realize there are many other ways to reduce stress, and as such have stopped using diapers as while my wife is accepting of them, was never fully comfortable around them. Granted, I have always had some diapers in the house just to be safe in case of a bad day.

    All was going well until recently when I learned a distant friend was also finding out about his AB/DL side. He confided in me and was seeking advice that was hard for me to give. The reason being was he was only thinking of himself, and what he wanted. I understand we all have to be selfish at times, but as many of us know taking too much will push people away.

    After talking with him for a while and realizing that my help was not appreciated, I backed off hoping all will go well for him. This has left me in a dilemma though. Now I find myself stressing over him and worrying about what is to become of him. I don't want to see him make himself an outcast and be shunned by family and friends like happened to me. Because of this, my thoughts keep drifting to him and diapers in general and make me want to revert back.

    I know there would be nothing wrong with this, but my wife and I are very happy at the moment. When I was going through my usage phase she was still around but slightly unhappy. I know I even said there is a time to be selfish, but I don't think now is the time. I also fear of going through another phase where I will want to wear more consistently, and this will not work for my professional career and may strain our marriage.

    Like I said, there is a time and place for everything, but I don't see now being the time. Does anyone know of a way to defuse this before it gets out of hand. I know from past experience, the longer I hold out, the stronger the desire, and perhaps the length may become.

    Any advice is welcomed!

  2. #2


    If you've only been talking to this friend on the net, there comes a warning. The net can be very alluring, and create a false sense of reality. Your real world is with your wife, living in the now and present in your house or apartment. Focusing through a computer is a strange experience, because we tend to tunnel vision, concentrating all of our attention on one thing, through the screen, so to speak.

    You've come this far, why go back? I see that you are a new member here on adisc. Why not spend some time on the site and see what others think, not just about this particular thread, but living with the desire to wear diapers. There's more going on in your life than just your friend leading you back to diapers. Wearing is not the worse thing to do with one's life, as long as it doesn't interfere with relationships, job, parents and the world in general. This is something that you are going to have to give more thought to.

  3. #3


    And that's exactly how I am feeling right now. At one point in my life this did overtake many things, including my relationship, some of my work and mostly my schooling. While I understand this is a part of me and can be used to my benefit in certain situations, I feel like I'm stepping on glass.

    At one time I literally wore for probably a month straight, 24/7. Ever since coming to my senses and realizing what this did to me, although it was the most stress free I've ever been, I realize this is something I don't want to do again. Moderation is okay, but not full time use again.

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  7. #7


    It sounds like you've been in a binge/purge cycle. Both are well documented here on ADISC.The question is, What do YOU want to do? Giving up diapers for two years is not easy for anyone. If you truly want to remain diaper-free, you will have to fight hard. Not just now but every time you have an emotional crisis. This is something we (AB/DLs) have programmed into us as stress relief. While there are many ways to relieve stress, we default to diapers when times are hard.If you go back, try to maintain balance between your AB/DL side and the rest of your life. That's how most of us manage. If you choose to stay diaper free, we wish you the best.

  8. #8


    The key for any AB/DL to happiness is balance and control.

    Basically, how much to you need to indulge to stay "happy".

    For me, the journey of find out who i was was a very long, and difficult one. I realized after many years that AB/DL is impossible to fully let go of. After a very trying time, mentally, I accepted myself as AB/DL. I realized that AB/DL is as much a part of me as my eye color and shoe size.

    Being AB/DL is... just different. The problem in your situation is that AB/DL focuses on the "self", so it is a "selfish" thing by design. I am VERY AB/DL, and spend all day every day, diapered. It has allowed me to be the person I think I should have been all the long years I fought it.

    Before I accepted myself, I was about to loose my job. I was so messed up mentally. Fast Forward one year, I am doing very well at my job. My confidence is amazing. I am stress free. I just did a 7 thousand dollar job, alone, for my company this past Friday, and was not intimated by it in the slightest. I've come so far, that I don't even recognize myself, but in a good way... and I owe it all to self acceptance and wearing as I please.

    Now, I'm going to go out on a limb, and please don't be offended, but I think you haven't fully accepted yourself. True happiness for us comes primarily from self acceptance. For me, it was the biggest success of my life. After self acceptance, comes acceptance from others.

    It sounds like your wife is OK with it, but certainly not fond. That is perfectly fine, but she has to realize, "selfish" or not, this is you, and that's not going to change. You both have to come to some sort of compromise that is fair, because trying to stop could have very bad consequences. If she goes away, or out for a while, it should be OK for you to wear, but she probably shouldn't be present.

    I honestly think it would work out best for both of you if you are allowed to express your DL side from time to time, alone.

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