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Thread: A purpose in life.

  1. #1

    Default A purpose in life.

    For the past 8-9 months, I've been having frequent periods of depression brought on by the thought of what I'm going to do with my life. In these periods, I'd often find myself blurring through days by just sleeping and playing video games. It wasn't infrequently that I'd find myself just sleeping away the days so that the next weekend would come faster. I had really let myself go.

    The only times that I'd feel even slightly happy were when I was with my friends at lunch, and even then it just felt... empty. As if the whole thing were somehow a prison, and no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn't be able to escape it.

    It was probably the worst about a month ago. I'd just had a really crappy day (that is to say, crappier than usual) and I snapped at my mom. Things escalated, and it came to an end when she said that I have to clean my room within 3 days or else she'd shovel all of it into trash bags and put it out in the rain. At that point, I just shut myself in. Didn't talk to anyone for days.

    I come home from school 3 days later, and sure enough, all my stuff was out in the rain. It was too much to bear. I took all of it inside, laid it out to dry in my room, and then sat on my bed to think. I eventually got so intensely pissed off at everything that my head felt like it was about to explode. It was completely unendurable. I couldn't handle it.

    That was the only time that I've ever attempted suicide. I didn't go through with it for one reason: my pain tolerance is absolutely zero and I have a morbid fear of asphyxiation.

    Then, about a week after that little episode, I got a call from a Marines recruiter. I had scored the highest ASVAB score in my entire school, by 12 points. (98/99) He said that I was qualified for every job in the military.
    That was exactly the moment that I realized what I was going to do.


    By now, I've settled on the Air force. I love the thought of working on and possibly even flying planes. It's the cushiest branch, and I have an aunt who's a master sergeant who can help me with getting the job that I want. (life isn't about what you know, it's about who you know)
    The prospect of the military is just so appealing in every way to me. Being part of such an organization, working with all of the stuff that I dream about, and all for me just giving my life to them. (That wasn't sarcasm. Honestly, I wasn't going to do anything else with it- so it's perfect)

    The whole thing has completely revitalized my thinking process. I'm doing excellently in school, my teacher wants to bump me up to the AP government class, and on top of it all- I don't feel like I'm just quitting any more. It's the best that I've ever felt.
    (thanks for bearing with me on this... I know it's a long post, but I really had to get it all out.)


    Have you ever had such an epiphany?
    comment, and tell everyone about it.


    tl;dr--i'm joining the air force. best thing that's ever happened to me. i have a purpose, blah blah blah. comment below.

  2. #2

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    All I can think to say is: Great! Go for it! It sounds like you have both an opportunity and a genuine interest, so why not?

    My father was Navy ROTC in college and completed his commission before I was born. Still, he maintained a very active interest in the Navy and in the armed forces in general. His insistence (in a passive-aggressive way) that I follow in his footsteps was perhaps the single biggest reason I didn't do it. I was a rebel.

    I have had a couple of epiphanies over the years, most recently that I want to work as a production engineer on movie sets in Hollywood. However, unfortunately, this type of job rarely opens up, and when it does, prior experience is everything. So, my resume slowly grows, and I send it off to a number of major and minor studios every six months or so. We'll see! I'm not holding my breath, though.

  3. #3

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    I still haven't figured out what I am going to do. I just seem to unmotivated or something. like there's something in the way. Maybe I am in my own way or something, IDK. But good on ya man. Flying planes and stuff is so cool.

  4. #4

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    Last I knew, all pilots were officers, mostly commissioned. If flying is where you truly want to go, don't forget to include that in your plans.

  5. #5

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    I can kind of relate to this... I've recently had a massive meltdown in life because of college difficulties. I'm at a tech school with a dual major and a job, so stress is often really high. I hit A LOT of snags with my programming class and started to question what it is that I REALLY want to do with my life. I'd always wanted to make video games, but the programming was sort of abysmal. It doesn't help that the friends I have here are frustrating most of the time too.
    I'm sort of a "Jack of all trades, master of none" kind of guy... so I enjoy just about everything I do because I'm at least competent. This is great for making me a well-rounded individual, but makes life-choices and career-paths difficult because I don't know what I like doing the most. For now I'm focusing on my second major in Art, but I still feel like I'm drifting and searching for a clear path. I just have to keep moving forward and find the way.

    Congratulations on the amazing ASVAB score, and I wish you luck in the military!

  6. #6

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    Congrats on the ASVAB score!

    I've had a number of epiphanies over the course of my life. The one that is somewhat similar was what sent me back to school pursuing a master's degree. I had a decent job, but it had stopped challenging me several years ago and had gotten to the point where it was mundane, monotonous, and had become a waste of my abilities and talents. It was also a dead-end job, with no hope for promotion. But, it's easy to get settled into a rut, a routine. I was paying the bills, able to afford to go out to eat or go out on the town if I wanted, and frankly, I had been at my job long enough that my skills had fallen considerably behind the state of the industry, never mind the fact that my industry had been hit particularly hard by the recession and a number of former colleagues were out of work and in bad financial straights.

    What finally did it for me, though, was last year's holiday break. My company shut down production for about 1.5 weeks (as they do every year) to give everyone time off for the holidays, and my anniversary of starting with the company was very shortly after the new year. When I returned to work after the new year, I was literally sick at the thought of being at work, at that job, and I actually broke down in tears shortly after getting to my desk. I realized that I could not continue on as I had been, no matter if I was comfortable or able to pay the bills or whatever. I had to get out of there, and I vowed to myself that I would not, come hell or high water, be there for one more anniversary with the company.

    So here I am, nearing the end of my first semester of grad school pursuing a master's degree in a completely unrelated field to the one in which I had previously worked, having left what many would consider a decent job in a bad economy to be here. But, I'm not at the company doing the same job with no prospects for the future anymore, either. I suppose it ties into the epiphany I had when I woke up after my accident, that life is too damn short to stay standing still and wondering "what if?"

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Traemo View Post
    Last I knew, all pilots were officers, mostly commissioned. If flying is where you truly want to go, don't forget to include that in your plans.
    officer's training isn't really something that high on my list. i know that it might sound silly, but i REALLY don't want that kind of responsibility. i'm perfectly content with having directions to go fix planes and all that stuff ^^
    also, i wasn't really referring to flying all of the big-shot jets and crap. (even though almost everyone says that i could do it if i wanted to) moreover, i was saying that i could be part of the flight crew on some transport plane or helicopter. namely, an Aerial Gunner. Now, it'd be a real long shot for me to get that straight out of basic, (the available jobs fluctuate on a minute-to-minute basis, no joke) but that would be just... amazing.



    Quote Originally Posted by xbabyx View Post
    Congrats on the ASVAB score!

    I've had a number of epiphanies over the course of my life. The one that is somewhat similar was what sent me back to school pursuing a master's degree. I had a decent job, but it had stopped challenging me several years ago and had gotten to the point where it was mundane, monotonous, and had become a waste of my abilities and talents. It was also a dead-end job, with no hope for promotion. But, it's easy to get settled into a rut, a routine. I was paying the bills, able to afford to go out to eat or go out on the town if I wanted, and frankly, I had been at my job long enough that my skills had fallen considerably behind the state of the industry, never mind the fact that my industry had been hit particularly hard by the recession and a number of former colleagues were out of work and in bad financial straights.

    What finally did it for me, though, was last year's holiday break. My company shut down production for about 1.5 weeks (as they do every year) to give everyone time off for the holidays, and my anniversary of starting with the company was very shortly after the new year. When I returned to work after the new year, I was literally sick at the thought of being at work, at that job, and I actually broke down in tears shortly after getting to my desk. I realized that I could not continue on as I had been, no matter if I was comfortable or able to pay the bills or whatever. I had to get out of there, and I vowed to myself that I would not, come hell or high water, be there for one more anniversary with the company.

    So here I am, nearing the end of my first semester of grad school pursuing a master's degree in a completely unrelated field to the one in which I had previously worked, having left what many would consider a decent job in a bad economy to be here. But, I'm not at the company doing the same job with no prospects for the future anymore, either. I suppose it ties into the epiphany I had when I woke up after my accident, that life is too damn short to stay standing still and wondering "what if?"
    thanks ^^
    i think that it really does do oneself good to just decide that you're going to do something like that, set a goal for yourself.
    my older cousin is getting ready to retire at near 40 with 2 master's and a bachelor's from the air force, so i think i'm all set in that area ^^

    good luck with your endeavor

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