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Thread: Busting out of my prison.

  1. #1

    Default Busting out of my prison.

    Please forgive me on how ďall over the placeĒ this is.

    All my life I have but heads with my dad. I donít know why we donít get along. Maybe itís because Iím his step-son, and not his real son of blood. For some reason I have always felt that he viewed me as a disappointment, like a scientist feels towards a failed experiment.

    My dad is a trucker; heís been driving semiís for almost 25 years now; shipping harvests from ohio-michigan, Michigan-Ohio, and even to Canada and back.

    When I was 7 years old I was outside playing basketball, or at least trying to play basketball in his opinion. When I heard his truck pull up I just kept on playing.

    Dad: What are you doing.
    Me: Playing Basketball
    Dad: You need to get inside you look like a nuisance.
    Me: Okay

    I didnít know what a nuisance was at that time, but I find myself dwelling on
    this particular part of my past from time to time.

    He has only been proud of me once, but that was when I was in 7th grade getting straight Aís. It was so nice having his acceptance, he was finally proud of me. I fought past the sexist English teacher , and the math teacher that thought I was stupid.

    Fast forward 8 years and here we are. I am 19, still living with my parents. Iím going to school to be a diesel mechanic and work on semi-trucks. Iíve been asking myself if this is what I really want to do with my life. The reasons that I wanted to go into this field were bad ones in my opinion. I wanted to make my dad proud, plus my close friend was going into the same program.

    Over the summer I worked my furry ass off stacking hay all summer. I didnít have any of the ďsummer funĒ someone is supposed to have. My dad never said good job, he just barked orders at me, telling me what needs to get done before I go and have fun at work. He really thought I was screwing off at work. I wish he could have seen the sweat pouring off my body.

    I want to be myself, why should I have to make someone proud of me that I donít even like. I attribute my shyness, awkwardness and bashfulness to my dick of a dad. He has always been disapproving of the things I did; his disapproving stare, him grabbing me and telling me to stay in one place; never telling me what I did wrong, only leaving me to question myself.

    I say no more! I am sick of being treated like a slave in this place. Over the winter Iím going to find out who I am, and what I really want to do with my life. Iím going to explore, Iím going to live for the first time in my life. Iím not going to be afraid of my dad watching oh so judgingly over my shoulder. I am done living in the shadows. Here I come world!

  2. #2


    Perhaps he was proud of your straight A's because he wants you to do better than he did, and the barking orders was discomfort at you preforming manual labor and going to school to learn more manual labor.

    I know I told my Dad that I wanted to work construction like him when I was younger and he threatened to kick my butt if I didn't do better with that with my life.

    I don't know your dad nor do I pretend to have incite into your situation but maybe, just maybe, their are reasons for his behavior and he has poorly developed ways to express himself.

  3. #3


    I hear you and understand where you are coming from. I had a very strained relationship with my father too. Only difference here is that my father kicked me out of his house when I was 6months from my 18th birthday. I hadn't even finished high school yet. Nonetheless I thrived in my endevours. Keep focused on what you are doing. If you take care of your education and once you find a good job,,,take care of it; your job will take care of you.

  4. #4


    If you take care of your education and once you find a good job,,,take care of it; your job will take care of you.
    I need to find out what I want to do with my life...I'm pretty sure I got into the wrong profession. I dont want to be stuck doing something I don't like my entire life.

  5. #5


    just take some time to think it over. You don't have to jump into a profession right away. If you going into a profession, and you find it isn't for you, you're not locked into it forever,,,,,course you already knew that though, lol. Good luck on your search. You sound like a good worker and I am sure you will do well!

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