Hi, I'm dragonette and I'm a bedwetter. (Crowd: HI DRAGONETTE.) I've been lurking around here a long time but I think this is my first "real" thread. I guess I couldn't keep my thoughts bottled up forever. You don't have to read it.
When I was little, I remember being daytime trained around the time I started preschool, but I kept wetting in my sleep. I stayed in diapers at night until at least 6 and then Pull-Ups until about 8 or 9. Finally around then my bedwetting slowed down to about once a week so mom took my Pull-Ups away. I remember about once a week there was a lot of crying followed by a lot of laundry when I'd wake up wet, but most nights in my preteens I stayed dry, which seems pretty amazing now.
That changed when I was 12, the worst most awkward time of my life in middle school, I was enough of a weird girl already but I started to wet the bed more often again. First it was twice a week, then three, four nights, you get the point. I remember right after I turned 13, I begged for GoodNites until I got them. My bedwetting had gotten worse but I was so much happier. No more crying, no laundry, no stress, just putting my diaper on and going to sleep.
But my bedwetting never slowed down after that. By the time I graduated high school I was wetting the bed six or seven nights a week again, as much as when I was 6. I also started noticing my GoodNites would leak more often than they used to, so I got some small adult size "overnight" diapers to wear to bed most nights instead. I still prefer GoodNites for lounging and naps because they're so comfy, but these days I need the true overnight diapers if I don't wanna have any leaks.
Anyway, I'm 20 now and I feel like I should have "grown up" but my bedwetting is worse than ever. I won't even lounge on the couch without at least wearing my GoodNites 'cause I have accidents pretty easily when I'm lying down but still half-awake. Sometimes I go to bed and almost right away I start peeing in my diaper without realizing it, or I jolt back awake shortly after falling asleep and I have to go change my diaper because I'm wet already. (Grr.) Either way, after I really fall asleep I guess that's when the floodgates open. I don't remember the last time I woke up totally dry but I know it's been a pretty long time.
That said, I still like my diapers, I hold that emotional connection to when I turned 13 and was wetting the bed about every other night again for almost a year, and I finally got to wear GoodNites and it felt good to go to bed feeling "secure" again. I guess that's what made me wanna come to places like these online and read stories from other people who wet the bed or liked diapers for their own reasons. Maybe it's because my preteens were the only few years I didn't wear any diapers, and all I seem to remember is continuing to wet the bed every so often anyway and crying a lot, I don't know.
But it's kinda strange that I never got to "grow out of it" like I thought I would. I wonder if I'll always wet the bed. I wonder if my accidents will get worse. I'm so thankful that I very rarely have daytime accidents or messy accidents like I know some incontinent people have to deal with, and I feel for them 'cause it must be so frustrating. Still, it doesn't take away that sometimes I sit around thinking "why me?" Why did my bedwetting start to go away in my preteens just to come back with a vengeance? Why did I come to like diapers? Why did I have to be a bedwetter at all? If only I could just wish it all away.
Sorry if I didn't really have a point to all this talk, I just wanted to get it out and hope somebody understands or might be going through the same thing.