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Thread: Why so many so afraid?

  1. #1

    Default Why so many so afraid?

    I just recently joined, and I've been reading thru the forums like a mad man on a mission. I posted a few times now and tried to be as helpful as I can. But I keep noticing a common theme. people seem to be opposed to tell other people about their fetish.

    Now if your in high school I strongly agree with this idea. Don't tell anyone until after high school. High school sucks for everyone and having that kind of secret floating around is just a bad idea. But after that's over, life gets a whole lot better once your out on your own.

    I have told people with both good and bad results. I have made plenty of mistakes along the way. Told people too much or not enough. Shoved it down people's throats who didn't deserve to see all this. People who didn't need to see.

    But I have told people with some very fantastic results. I have diapered so many girls that my friends think I'm lying when I talk about it. But it's all true. I've had my diapers changed by so many people I lost count. My friend even lets his wife change my diapers.

    I have a loving and amazing girlfriend who had never even heard of such a thing when she met me. Now she wears diapers with me whenever I ask her to. She will diaper me 24/7 although she won't always change my poopy diapers. She has her limits and I respect that. Sometimes I have to use the potty like a big boy, because I love her and I'll play her way as long as she plays mine.

    All I'm saying is that self acceptance and self awareness are the first steps towards telling others and if you can do that you can have a whole lot of fun you never though possible.

    Like I said, I made a bunch of mistakes and on one occasion I did move to another town to get clear of that mistake. (I couldn't get a date there to save my life) But at the end of the day, my life is truly better for having shared it with people.

    I'm not telling anyone to go out and blab to the whole world about your secrets who don't want to. All I'm saying is that after high school is over and your out on your own, it's not the end of the world if you make a mistake. It's how you recover from it and move on.

    I hope that in some way all of us find somebody to share this side of our lives with.

  2. #2


    I don't know if it's so much being afraid, I think a better word may be cautious. You have to ask yourself "What good will telling do?" Really, is there any advantage to everyone knowing this side of you. It would be hard to argue that there is. On the other hand, for most of us, there are a lot of possible problems that could come from the wrong people knowing. Also, do you really think most people even want to know? I would venture to say most don''s a kind of TMI thing.

    Last but not least, is that not telling is a reversible situation that gives you options. At any time you can decide who and when to let someone in on your secret. But telling is irreversible. Once it's out, that's it, and you have just handed power over to someone else, and you have no control over how they will use it.

    I guess all I'm saying here is don't be fearful, but do be careful!

  3. #3


    I think there's a big difference between telling your spouse and then all and sundry. Most people are cautious of the former, and more cautious still with the latter. If anything, I'd say that's a really mature way to be.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by fuzziepuppy View Post
    I'm not telling anyone to go out and blab to the whole world about your secrets who don't want to. All I'm saying is that after high school is over and your out on your own, it's not the end of the world if you make a mistake. It's how you recover from it and move on.
    Yah, no. In a lot of careers something like being an AB would be considered so outlandish and potentially threatening that you could more or less kill you whole career if you let it out. I mean, I don't want to feed into anyone's extreme paranoia, but discretion is not a bad thing to have. My job? Yah I could move on and it wouldn't be a huge deal, though in local circles it would probably spread and make it harder to get hired at some smaller companies. You work as a school teacher, or in a strongly baptist community, or in any other closed community? You could seriously be all out fucked.

    I mean yah, you can "start over" but that is one hell of an extreme thing to have to do over such a silly fetish/hobby.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by fuzziepuppy View Post
    .... I have diapered so many girls that my friends think I'm lying when I talk about it. ....
    Allowing people to distrust your assertion, caused by your forthright honesty, is that not in itself a form of deception?

  6. #6


    I think if we were more secure and willing to just accept ourselves as a normal part of society then society might start to be willing to accept us. Either why not doing anything is the only mistake you can make in life so tell people or don't tell people but make the choice. If it ends good or bad all depends on how, and why you did it.

  7. #7


    This is a particularly interesting topic for me and I think it's one that deserves a good discussion.

    I wouldn't say people are necessarily 'afraid' of telling people but rather they're being cautious about it. Once you tell a single person you've potentially told everybody. With something like ABDLism that can have quite an effect on your career and life (even though it shouldn't do).

    This will always come down to an individuals circumstances and self-confidence. There are people out there who practically flaunt their ABDLism (and most members here will probably know who I'm talking about), there are people like me who don't advertise it but don't hide it either and there are people who like to 'keep it in the nursery'.

    It's all a balancing act. Many people will be perfectly happy never telling anyone about their ABDL side, others might be content to just tell their girlfriend/wife/both and some might want to tell family. A rare few might even want it to be public knowledge. It all depends on your circumstances and what you feel comfortable with.

    Telling people can be a great idea or it can be a disaster. In every case you need to weigh the pros and cons - who are you telling? why are you telling them? what will you gain? what could you lose? do you trust them to not tell anyone else?

    The biggest thing to remember is that real life doesn't have an 'Undo' button - once you've told that's it. So make sure it's the right decision for you

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by fuzziepuppy View Post
    All I'm saying is that after high school is over and your out on your own, it's not the end of the world if you make a mistake. It's how you recover from it and move on.
    It's not like after high school a switch is flipped and everybody becomes mature and understanding, there are still plenty of dicks outside of high school. You find them at university and work and all over the place. Once you've told someone they'll know forever and that can be a difficult thing to recover from if it goes badly, you run a high risk of losing friends and family over a private matter that you never had to share.

    I've been out of secondary school/sixth form for a year and a quarter and have told no one and don't plan to unless it's a potential wife and this is because I don't (a) want to risk losing people I care about and (b) because none of them need to know frankly. You'll find that people here are scared about telling parents and partners and for about 99% of members you'll find they couldn't care less about telling friends as they see no reason to involve them. It's not always about fear but also about knowing who to tell.

  9. #9


    It's all looking at a 2-d screen with letters and numbers. Social interactions are different than playing out a scenario in your head.
    You can have all the courage you want when you aren't looking at someone in the eyes.

  10. #10


    I tend to view fetishes as private and personal and really don't see the need to tell all and sundry. Unless you're likely to see me in a state of undress or be the person putting one on me, you have no need to know I like wearing them in my opinion. If there is no benefit to be derived from it, why take the chance? My fetishes are as personal to me as things like favourite sexual positions, and I certainly see no gain to be had in sharing that information with the world, but then I'm a generally private person by nature. Might be cod psychology, but I think the greater the desire to shout something about yourself from the rooftops, the more likely it is you're not actually comfortable with it yourself.

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