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Thread: Nervous parent that needs help

  1. #1

    Default Nervous parent that needs help

    Hello! I'm hoping some of you will be able to give me some advice. A few months ago, I found that my 14 year old son had been searching different links about diapers on the web. I wasn't sure why he would be doing this and tried to start searching for answers. I did see where he looked at a link about fetishes but still went into denial hoping it was by accident. Then the other night, I found that he had been looking at different pages on Wikipedia to do with diapers, rubber pants, and also a site called Pedobear. I was really concerned when I saw that.

    I love my son very much and am worried about how to approach this. Do I tell him I have found this stuff and ask him if he needs to talk? I cannot be accepting of this but I do want him to know I will always love him and want to be there for him. Or do I just leave him alone.

    Please, please give me some advice.

  2. #2
    LittleDrummerGirl

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by nervousparent View Post
    Hello! I'm hoping some of you will be able to give me some advice. A few months ago, I found that my 14 year old son had been searching different links about diapers on the web. I wasn't sure why he would be doing this and tried to start searching for answers. I did see where he looked at a link about fetishes but still went into denial hoping it was by accident. Then the other night, I found that he had been looking at different pages on Wikipedia to do with diapers, rubber pants, and also a site called Pedobear. I was really concerned when I saw that.

    I love my son very much and am worried about how to approach this. Do I tell him I have found this stuff and ask him if he needs to talk? I cannot be accepting of this but I do want him to know I will always love him and want to be there for him. Or do I just leave him alone.

    Please, please give me some advice.
    I'll refer you to this article:

    Frequently asked questions for people who aren't interested in diapers

    Also, there are several good sites to explain *B/DLism. Unfortunately, I'm drawing a blank on any specific ones, but I'm sure another user knows of some, or you could do some searching on your own.

    I'm a teen myself, so I can't say I know how this feels. But when breaking it to your son, be delicate, and PLEASE do plenty of research beforehand, so you know what you are dealing with. I hope all goes well.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by nervousparent View Post
    Hello! I'm hoping some of you will be able to give me some advice. A few months ago, I found that my 14 year old son had been searching different links about diapers on the web. I wasn't sure why he would be doing this and tried to start searching for answers. I did see where he looked at a link about fetishes but still went into denial hoping it was by accident. Then the other night, I found that he had been looking at different pages on Wikipedia to do with diapers, rubber pants, and also a site called Pedobear. I was really concerned when I saw that.

    I love my son very much and am worried about how to approach this. Do I tell him I have found this stuff and ask him if he needs to talk? I cannot be accepting of this but I do want him to know I will always love him and want to be there for him. Or do I just leave him alone.

    Please, please give me some advice.
    Well, as a DL/TB myself I would probably like it better if my parents actually talked to me about it. Yes the Diaper fetish might be weird in the eyes of most since many people do associate it with pedophilia because of the age-play and diapers but its really not that much to worry about.

    Most people with the fetish tend to either prefer wearing diapers just for the pleasure of it in some cases even using them. The reasons why people do this are generally different. Some might have gotten into it due to a traumatic experience in their life while others might have just wore them all thier life. It would be wise to figure out why he feels the need to wear them since it might help you understand his need much better.

    As for his activity online, i would say seeing what he was doing without him knowing might have been a little too much of a invasion of his privacy but if you truly are worried about what he is doing online during a talk you can try to accept what he does and somehow find a way to let him enjoy his online use but try to limit the things he can see because most sites out there that have to do with diapers tend to be mostly for adults only. Also be aware that at 14 new thoughts go in the head of boys like girls and etc.
    As for the Pedobear, that would worry me to unless it referred to the South Park reference which is just for jokes and not actually pedophilia.

    The best thing to do I guess is try to talk to him about it. Learn why he does it and what led him to finally doing it. Figuring out this will not only help you accept it but allow some kind of opening in which you can help him with his need and keep him safe from certain sites that are not meant for him. If you confront him aggresively he will just rebel against you or just keep denying.

    Hope that helped and made some kind of sense *shrugs*
    Edit: Oh yeah like the member above me said, Research about the topic of Diaper Lovers and Teen babies since it could give more insight into the subject.

  4. #4

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    Thanks for coming by ADISC. I hope to be of some help.

    Typically, I would say that he is in no real danger and that ABDLism is harmless. However, that site, 'Pedobear', I have never heard of, but the sound of it freaks me out. I am not even going to go searching it out, for fear of the repercussions and what I would see.

    I can, however, speak to the issues of searching out diaper-related sites. At 14, I was very curious myself. I would always try to acquire them whenever I could. I was never really caught with them, although my mom did find a large collection of diaper advertisements I had compiled over the years. It was very awkward and we never spoke of it again. My mom was always over-bearing and snooped through everything of mine, even when I would come home to visit from college.

    I never go home now. We really don't talk besides a few times a year when we discuss 'the weather'. I am not saying that any sort of intervention will lead to your son shunning you out of his life; my mother and I have issues that go far beyond that little run-in. However, I do know that if my mom hadn't treated me like some sick-o, things likely wouldn't have turned out so bad.

    I am a littlefur, a subset of the ABDL realm. I have a wife of over three years, hold down a licensed profession and we plan on having kids in the future. Being ABDL doesn't mean having no life. Sure, it is tough especially in those formative years to balance it all, but it will all work out in the end. First and foremost, you need to understand that this isn't going away. I am 28 and I can say that. There are 60 year-olds on here who can attest to this, as well.

    I would be concerned about the 'pedobear' site. Yet, understand that peado tendencies and being ABDL ARE NOT linked. ADISC roots out any who have ever hinted at such topics and banned them from the site. I think I speak for a vast majority of ABDLBFs when I say that their kind are not welcome here.

    In the way of advice, I would get to the root of the site in question. That is the more immediate issue. If it ends up being nothing (I hope for both of you it isn't), then I would probably drop the issue. Let him explore his 'little side' and figure things out. It is very confusing at that age and having a parent get involved when that very relationship is often connected to the feelings in the first place, can only worsen things. If he has questions, be as open as you can.

    You don't have to accept it, of course, but I would urge tolerance. The feelings and the connected acts associated with ABDLism are not harmful and can lead to greater self-awareness and contentment. To be honest, I wish I hadn't had to hide from my parents at that age. I would have been able to accept who I was sooner and turn my focus to the other things in life.

    I hope everything turns out okay. If you have any further questions, please, don't hesitate to ask. ^^

  5. #5

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    Hmmm. Looks legit, I guess ill bite...

    Where to start.. I won't lie, I don't think I've seen many parents on this site wondering about their kids so excuse me if I'm a bit skeptical. Most people in the community aren't pedo's and chomo's. I think that many feel that it's a comfort device leaning on the AB side and a fetish if it's on the DL spectrum. Pedobear... lol that's like 4chan and encylopedia dramatica if I'm not mistaken (trolls). I myself have no intent of ever discussing this matter to my parents, nor would I want them asking about it (though I strongly beleive they already know), my advice would be just leave it be.... better to be addicted to diapers then drugs!

  6. #6

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    Thanks for you responses.

    He had only looked at 4 pages to do with this Pedobear and I am not concerned with him being a pedophile, he doesn't even seem to like kids that are younger than him. I am concerned what he would see on these sites though. I am thinking about telling him I saw that he had looked that up and not mentioning I know about the diapers at this time. He is a good kid. Was in diapers for a long time due to being born prematurely. Had surgeries that required care "down below" so I am thinking that may be the reason for his fetish, but of course, I don't know for sure.

    Again, I really appreciate your responses. I am fairly open minded but I don't want anything to happen to him because of this fetish. Meaning I don't want him to feel shame but I also don't want others to find out for his own good. People would not understand this.

  7. #7

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    "He had only looked at 4 pages to do with this Pedobear"

    I look at the troll sites too occasionally for a good laugh :3 doubt it's anything big.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by nervousparent View Post
    Thanks for you responses.

    He had only looked at 4 pages to do with this Pedobear and I am not concerned with him being a pedophile, he doesn't even seem to like kids that are younger than him. I am concerned what he would see on these sites though. I am thinking about telling him I saw that he had looked that up and not mentioning I know about the diapers at this time. He is a good kid. Was in diapers for a long time due to being born prematurely. Had surgeries that required care "down below" so I am thinking that may be the reason for his fetish, but of course, I don't know for sure.

    Again, I really appreciate your responses. I am fairly open minded but I don't want anything to happen to him because of this fetish. Meaning I don't want him to feel shame but I also don't want others to find out for his own good. People would not understand this.
    I think that is the wise route to take. Your heart seems to be very much in the right place.

    If he knows he has a safe spot where he can be himself, that will help immensely and remove a lot of the pressure I'm sure he's feeling out of the equation.

    And yes, generally, people don't understand it. However, there are those, like my very, very tolerant wife, who open their mind enough and accept us for who we are. ^_^

    Best of luck!

  9. #9

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    I feel better having found this site. I just want him to have as normal of a life as possible. And I don't want to screw that up for him. I just wish I knew the best way to address this. I doubt a counselor would know much about this.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by nervousparent View Post
    I feel better having found this site. I just want him to have as normal of a life as possible. And I don't want to screw that up for him. I just wish I knew the best way to address this. I doubt a counselor would know much about this.
    No need for that in my opinion. Third parties tend to make it harder if you ask me. If you feel you MUST do something about this... I would suggest just talking about it with him in the most plesent way you can. I know at that age, if my parents talked to me about it though, I would have died from embaressment. Try to understand what it would be like to tell YOUR parents about a subject like this. I'm not trying to bash or have a cynical tone, mearly just putting it in perspective of what your son is probably feeling.

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