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Thread: Struggling with Depression

  1. #1

    Default Struggling with Depression

    I can't take it anymore. I just WISH I could come out of the closet with my parents about being an ABDL. I am 21 and still live at home because I'm trying to afford going to college.

    Buying diapers is such a hassle because I'm always nervous they are going to catch me. They know about my fetish but think it is "Un-Christian" to wear diapers.

    Ugh. Really sad right now.

  2. #2


    Well, you know, you have to hide things sometimes in order to keep things comfortable. Of course we would all want to get acceptance, but this is reality, and our sense of enjoyment ISNT normal in this society. I can understand your depression, I mean, we've all been there. But who's to say telling them would make it better? What if they respond negatively and make your depression worse? For now, just take it day by day and keep yourself busy! A busy mind isn't a contemplative one c: ! Just keep having hope, and keep looking ahead. It'll be better one won't always be this miserable. Hang in there, buddy! (I too suffer from this is genuine advice. Really, just hang in there.)

  3. #3


    Take a deep breath, and realize that sometimes it's best just to keep things quiet. Find support where you can, and remember that not everyone can understand or accept fetishes outside of their own. Heck, many times people can't even understand their own nor accept them. Leaving their lives to be truly difficult more so than the ones who have to hide them from those that can't understand.

    Find comfort in those who can understand, and try not to stress the rest. *hugs*

  4. #4


    kaylakutiez hit home by saying that telling them wouldn't necessary make you feel better.
    You are facing battle of self acceptance and i believe this storm shall pass.
    Hang in there.

    Best wishes.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Ch3stersGhost View Post
    I can't take it anymore. I just WISH I could come out of the closet with my parents about being an ABDL. I am 21 and still live at home because I'm trying to afford going to college.

    Buying diapers is such a hassle because I'm always nervous they are going to catch me. They know about my fetish but think it is "Un-Christian" to wear diapers.

    Ugh. Really sad right now.
    Hey man, I know what you're going through. I just pulled myself out of the lowest point in my life recently, I know how hard it can be to keep your head above the water when depression strikes.

    Some advice that helped me was this: Sometimes you need to be a little "selfish", particularly when you're feeling low. Forget about what your parents think of your fetish, or whatever's bothering you, and do something that makes you happy. Don't sit there and think about whatever's got you depressed, because as easy as it is to sit there and stew, you're only making it worse.

    As for buying diapers, consider this: You buy some, they DO catch you. So what? If they already know, and they already think it's "un-Christian", who cares? Take my word for it, you'll be a lot better off if you handle circumstances like this with a disregard for everyone else's opinion. If you want to buy diapers, that's your business, and your choice. The same goes for wearing them. If your parents think it's wrong, TOUGH! You're a grown adult, and you have the right to do certain things that your parents don't necessarily approve of.

    Bottom line, there's a good chance you won't get caught, but if you do, it's really no big deal! When it comes right down to it, you're an adult, and you're capable and entitled to make your own decisions, particularly in such a personal matter, and it's nobody else's concern.

    If you get to feeling really bad, maybe talk to a counselor. The worst that could happen is you walk out feeling the same, but sometimes a shoulder to cry on in an anonymous and confidential setting is exactly what you need to sort out your emotions.

  6. #6


    Having struggled with depression in the past--and now, trying to help my mom through it--I know that the single-most important thing is to have a goal. Your goal of completing college is exactly what you need to distract you. Every day, you should try and derive some strength from the prospects of graduating, moving away and becoming independent. As I see it, this means you have two options.

    The first, is you try to keep the diaper activity under wraps at home, and continue living in fear...

    Most people are right when they say that some details of your personal life are best to be kept from your parents. If they are a bit overbearing or don't respect your privacy to a point that you are afraid of being walked-in on, you need to politely initiate an adult discussion with them about boundaries. While I agree that you should have the right to explore your own personal space in a diaper, or naked, or wearing a ceremonial native headdress if you wish... It doesn't always work that way. Since God put many of us in families with good intentions but no common sense, it's likely that you'll need to get out of the house to enjoy your diapers.

    So, your second option is to get out of the house more.

    Try to find a local munch or meetup of age players in your area. There, you'll be more free to express this side of you--and may even find yourself a play date or two. If there aren't any munches nearby, make a conscious choice to be further motivated by graduating and moving away to a place with more diversity.

    You say you're living at home because you're struggling to afford college. Boy, I can relate--believe me. When I was 19, I had saved up just enough money to move a thousand miles away from home and start college. I worked three jobs to pay all my bills and started exploring diapers with my girlfriend. I was young and wild and free... Then the recession hit. Two of the three places I worked fell victim to the economy and went out of business. With too little money to pay my rent, I got evicted from my apartment. After two months of living on couch-after-couch, I decided I had no choice but to move back home. My girlfriend became long-distance, I spent months looking for work, and my mom's annoying idiosyncrasies were driving me insane. On top of all that, I didn't trust her to honor my personal space, and I forced myself to put away my beloved diapers and toys. A few months later, my girlfriend dumped me after a rather embarrassing attempt at Skype sex and a cascade of harsh words. I spiraled into depression pretty quickly.

    When I finally found work again, the goal became clear--save up and move out. I worked at a big box store, earning minimum wage and going home each night, only to lament about how much I hated retail. At the end of each day, I wanted nothing more than to diaper-up, curl-up in bed and pop my binkie in my mouth. I was miserable.

    In an effort to psyche myself up for a job I hated, I resorted to posting notes for myself around my room--on my keyboard, on my mirror, next to my bed... Quotes and inspirational thoughts that kept me motivated and focused on my goal. Two years later, I moved out of my mom's place into my own apartment again. I had no furniture--save a dresser and air mattress--but that first night in my new apartment, I went to sleep in my diaper and it was the best sleep of my entire life! I was all alone, with no one to answer to but myself... It was such a glorious and liberating time in my life. I think I grew to appreciate my diaper-time even more when I learned that it was more about my own joy and personal satisfaction than it was about being paranoid and fearing judgement of God or family.

    I know things seem rough right now... but it is only through our struggles that we build the character and courage to ultimately live life on our own terms. Things get better, and God loves you no matter what.



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