Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: Thinking of telling friend; How to know when ready?

  1. #1

    Default Thinking of telling friend; How to know when ready?

    So I've been thinking of telling a good friend of mine that I like diapers.
    This is a really good friend whom I know I can share many things about. She also shares many things about herself, and we can talk about anything.
    I have a feeling she'll be quite all right about it, but I'm still not sure.

    Does anyone have any suggestions to know when I'm ready? And don't say things like "Well you know when you're ready" or "If you want to do it, then do it" lol it's nice advice, but I just need to know how to know if I'm ready mentally and emotionally.
    What do you feel like after you tell them?

    I'm gay, and I'm out. Is it like coming out?

    Thanks!

  2. #2

    Default

    I have told a few of my close friends and it is hard to get it out but it was worth it in the end, especially if it is someone you are very close with.
    I am bi and very open about it and I found this much harder to come out with, but then again I am only bi.
    My big issue with telling my friends was the trust, I made sure I had some of their secrets before I told them but with your situation I can't see that being a problem.
    I think your ready to tell someone if it's someone you trust and you feel like you need to get it off your chest. It's a very relieving feeling and can be well worth it if you have been struggling with your feelings about it. I am sure she will be more curious than anything.

    I hope this helps and I hope everything works out for you!

  3. #3

    Default

    I don't see why you should tell you're friend I have many good friends that I would never tell but my girlfriend and mother know just cause they'll be in my life forever

  4. #4

    Default

    Ok, thanks you two. Does anyone else have anything else to suggest? I need more, I'm feeling lost...

  5. #5
    littlepacifiergirl

    Default

    I would make sure that you get in your mind what you want to say to her before you say it. Nearly everybody has some understanding of what being gay/bi-sexual means but most people have never heard of being an ab/dl. If you open up with something like "I like wearing diapers" it can be taken many different ways. It might help to write something down, I know it always helps me when I need to talk about something hard with somebody.

    Hope it goes well !

  6. #6

    Default

    I think you should understand clearly why you want to tell. Diaper wearing is usually a sexual fetish, so for that reason, it's something we normally keep to ourselves. Obviously, not every one does as we have members on this site who have told others. Some have worked out well, and some have ended tragically. This is a decision only you can make. Just know why you must tell, and understand the consequences should she not take it well. Remember that a lot of people think we are weird freaks. It's a hard thing to understand.

  7. #7

    Default

    There are people who should know, people you want to know, and people who should never know. Long term partners, yes they should know. People your having a non emotional sexual fling with? Probably not. Your Boss, teacher, neighbors? No way. That is unless your ready to deal with the consequences.

    My dad used to tell me all the time, "Before you do or say anything, decide if it's worth the consequences." he wasn't telling me not to do something. He was just reminding me that with everything there is a certain amount of risk on your part. And that sometimes you take the good with the bad on your road to happiness.

    Telling people can relieve the burden of stress of carrying this fetish all alone. Talking to people on the internet is not the same as talking to people in real life. But then again telling people can also create more stress and chaos then it relives. Either way your gonna have to decide for yourself.

    My first question is how old are you? If your a teenager and still in school I highly advise you wait to tell anybody until after your out of high school. You don't want that secret floating around out there during a time in your life that is hard enough as it is. My own son is a senior in high school and is into cross dressing. I gave him the same advice. Unless your ready for your whole high school to know keep it yourself. Unless that is of course you do know for certain and for true that good friend of yours really will keep there mouth shut.

    And you need to figure out, before you start telling people, how much involvement you want them to have in your fetish before you tell them. Know yourself before you ask somebody else to know you. Do want somebody to change you or, do just want somebody who is real and tangible that you can talk to face to face to know? If the latter is the case then you probably shouldn't divulge too much at first. If you want somebody to get involved and change you, then your gonna have to give up a lot more then you may or may not be comfortable with at first.

    I have friends who know, friends who have seen, friends who have changed me, and a couple of friends who let their wives change me. Thing is that with each of these people I also have to be a friend to them and accept their comfort level and not shove anything down their throats. For instance I have friends who know all about it but don't want to see it. I have friends that don't mind if I wear a diaper either at my house or theirs, but they don't want to watch me get changed out of it. Other friends who notice I'm wet and just get up and go to the cabinet and tell me to lay down. And their are other friends who don't know anything about this side of me at all.

    I choose the people I tell very carefully. I never tell anybody that I don't trust. And whenever I do tell somebody I always knowingly run the risk of them freaking out and telling everybody. I have told people and ended up in very bad situations.

    Once I dated a girl I worked with briefly. She was up for just about anything I ever wanted her to try. So I got her to wear diapers for me. She even babied me once. But then we had a big fight (non diaper related) and we broke up. She then told every girl I worked with and it got all around the restaurant that I was a diaper wearing freak.

    I could have quit, but I stuck it out. I was asked about it and a few people tried to make fun of me, but whenever I was confronted, I calmly and cooly and with an authoritative voice replied to them "Yeah and?" I made it clear that this was something that I did in private and it wasn't their business to get involved. That and I not the kind of guy to take much crap off of anybody. I can take a joke but it better be just a joke. And I was just a generally cool guy to work with. I worked hard and was helpful to others, and people liked me so I got around it mostly okay. But it was incredibly uncomfortable for awhile.I ended up leaving that job for other reasons and moving away. After which I became much much more careful about it all. I was greatly aware that it could have been much worse. As I have heard horror stories from guys that were treated like sex offenders after being found out.


    Bottom line here is that nobody can tell you if your ready to tell your friend or not. You have to figure that out for yourself. I suggest you first know yourself and what it is you want out of telling them before you do. I also advise you to expect the worst and hope for the best. Your gonna stumble along the way. Your gonna make mistakes with this fetish and tell somebody you shouldn't. You may never even know that you did. People may just talk behind your back. It's how you handle it that matters most. If your a cool person about it and treat them with the respect they deserve they more or less will do the same for you. And if they don't then they are truly not your friend.

    NO matter what way you slice it and dice it, telling people is always a risk, but sometimes in life no risk equals no reward. Just be aware that sometimes risking it all turns out to be a monumental screw up. It's up to you to figure out if it's worth it or not.

    Sorry to be so long winded and kinda rambling...

  8. #8

    Default

    When I told my best friend she commented that it seemed like I was coming out of the closet. Like it was that big of a deal and secret I carried. I was prepared to carry my secret to the grave, just as many LGBT's have in the past. Like the other poster's have mentioned, people aren't familiar with ABDL stuff so you'll have to explain in most cases. Just be prepared to answer questions...They may be awkward or easy to answer.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by fuzziepuppy View Post
    There are people who should know, people you want to know, and people who should never know. Long term partners, yes they should know. People your having a non emotional sexual fling with? Probably not. Your Boss, teacher, neighbors? No way. That is unless your ready to deal with the consequences.

    My dad used to tell me all the time, "Before you do or say anything, decide if it's worth the consequences." he wasn't telling me not to do something. He was just reminding me that with everything there is a certain amount of risk on your part. And that sometimes you take the good with the bad on your road to happiness.

    Telling people can relieve the burden of stress of carrying this fetish all alone. Talking to people on the internet is not the same as talking to people in real life. But then again telling people can also create more stress and chaos then it relives. Either way your gonna have to decide for yourself.

    My first question is how old are you? If your a teenager and still in school I highly advise you wait to tell anybody until after your out of high school. You don't want that secret floating around out there during a time in your life that is hard enough as it is. My own son is a senior in high school and is into cross dressing. I gave him the same advice. Unless your ready for your whole high school to know keep it yourself. Unless that is of course you do know for certain and for true that good friend of yours really will keep there mouth shut.

    And you need to figure out, before you start telling people, how much involvement you want them to have in your fetish before you tell them. Know yourself before you ask somebody else to know you. Do want somebody to change you or, do just want somebody who is real and tangible that you can talk to face to face to know? If the latter is the case then you probably shouldn't divulge too much at first. If you want somebody to get involved and change you, then your gonna have to give up a lot more then you may or may not be comfortable with at first.

    I have friends who know, friends who have seen, friends who have changed me, and a couple of friends who let their wives change me. Thing is that with each of these people I also have to be a friend to them and accept their comfort level and not shove anything down their throats. For instance I have friends who know all about it but don't want to see it. I have friends that don't mind if I wear a diaper either at my house or theirs, but they don't want to watch me get changed out of it. Other friends who notice I'm wet and just get up and go to the cabinet and tell me to lay down. And their are other friends who don't know anything about this side of me at all.

    I choose the people I tell very carefully. I never tell anybody that I don't trust. And whenever I do tell somebody I always knowingly run the risk of them freaking out and telling everybody. I have told people and ended up in very bad situations.

    Once I dated a girl I worked with briefly. She was up for just about anything I ever wanted her to try. So I got her to wear diapers for me. She even babied me once. But then we had a big fight (non diaper related) and we broke up. She then told every girl I worked with and it got all around the restaurant that I was a diaper wearing freak.

    I could have quit, but I stuck it out. I was asked about it and a few people tried to make fun of me, but whenever I was confronted, I calmly and cooly and with an authoritative voice replied to them "Yeah and?" I made it clear that this was something that I did in private and it wasn't their business to get involved. That and I not the kind of guy to take much crap off of anybody. I can take a joke but it better be just a joke. And I was just a generally cool guy to work with. I worked hard and was helpful to others, and people liked me so I got around it mostly okay. But it was incredibly uncomfortable for awhile.I ended up leaving that job for other reasons and moving away. After which I became much much more careful about it all. I was greatly aware that it could have been much worse. As I have heard horror stories from guys that were treated like sex offenders after being found out.


    Bottom line here is that nobody can tell you if your ready to tell your friend or not. You have to figure that out for yourself. I suggest you first know yourself and what it is you want out of telling them before you do. I also advise you to expect the worst and hope for the best. Your gonna stumble along the way. Your gonna make mistakes with this fetish and tell somebody you shouldn't. You may never even know that you did. People may just talk behind your back. It's how you handle it that matters most. If your a cool person about it and treat them with the respect they deserve they more or less will do the same for you. And if they don't then they are truly not your friend.

    NO matter what way you slice it and dice it, telling people is always a risk, but sometimes in life no risk equals no reward. Just be aware that sometimes risking it all turns out to be a monumental screw up. It's up to you to figure out if it's worth it or not.

    Sorry to be so long winded and kinda rambling...
    Wow, I'm impressed! Sounds like we're cut from the same bolt of cloth (no pun intended), when you take the wind out of someone's sail (that "someone" being the person who is setting out to harrass you) it leaves them with very little. I've learned in my 50 years that confidence goes much further than education, even though we need both. Well handled, and I hope others learn from this approach as well. I personally don't see the need to share any information about myself unless that information is going to have an impact on our relationship in the future. I think a lot of people feel the need to tell someone just to assuage their feelings of guilt or need to be accepted as they are. Be happy with YOU, no one needs to know when you have to pick your nose, go to the bathroom, spit on the sidewalk, etc... Just enjoy the people you have in your life, and if you feel that there's a chance to broaden or enhance the relationship, make absolutely certain that they are someone who can't wait to spread gossip. You'll know, if they talk about others, they'll talk about you, too.

    BayRay, you might consider, to those you feel a need to share this information with, to try "testing the waters", so to speak. You might casually mention that you have a friend that likes to indulge in this fetish, and since you've known him/her a long time, it's no big deal to you, even though it may seem unusual, it doesn't change who they are. You can judge their reaction to your revelation, and if it's a powerful negative, you have your answer...

  10. #10

    Default

    If your asking how to know when your ready then your probably not.

Similar Threads

  1. Thinking of telling girlfriend
    By NinjaRider in forum Diaper Talk
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 14-Dec-2009, 03:23

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.