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Thread: Any advice?

  1. #1

    Default Any advice?

    So, I am thinking of coming out about being an AB/DL to couple of my closest friends. One already knows that I have a secret, as she witnessed my fiancee and i get into it about this a while ago. I am one of those people who is terrified of regection. Does anyone have any advice or pointers or anything with this?

  2. #2


    what would they gain out of it? If you can't answer that with even semi-good reasons, why tell them at all?

  3. #3

  4. #4


    I'd agree with the other posters - you need to decide what you/they would gain from knowing about it and weigh it up against the potential risks. If you do go ahead with it then good luck

  5. #5


    You mention that you fear rejection. I completely understand where you're coming from, but I think it's crucial to realize the other side of the conversation.

    In a friendship, you're dealing with the interaction of two people and two sets of emotions (for lack of a better word). While you may be worried about rejection, you have to think about what THEY will be feeling when you tell them. It's a lot for someone else to take, hearing something that many are totally unaware even exists. If they are your friends, I doubt they will 'reject' you, but you may not get the immediate acceptance you are apparently seeking.

    They will see you in a different light. Not necessarily a bad one, but still an altered one. Just ask anyone who has had to bring this up with their spouse or, in your case, your fiance. It sounds like you have someone in your life who accepts and appreciates that side of you. That said, unless they were ABDL to begin with, it probably took some time to adjust to the matter, as well. (I apologize if I am way off base here. Just going off similar experiences )

    I have told one close friend, other than my wife, and this was only because she had always been like a mother to me and knew everything about me as it was. As good fortune would have it, she ended up being my caretaker for a while and it was a time I will cherish forever. However, outside of that special relationship, I haven't told any other friends. Not because I think they would reject me, but simply because I don't see it as adding anything to our relationship, as Fire2Box astutely noted. If anything, I am more concerned about the spot it would put them in. As I said, they have to all of a sudden deal with this revelation and react in kind.

    So, I can't say don't do it, no matter what. That has to be your decision. However, before you do, think more about how they would feel upon hearing it rather than how you would take it. That's the thing about relationships: it's a two-way street.

  6. #6


    Just remember once you come out to your friends that there is no going back. I would really put a lot of thought into this and maybe think about the decision for 2 months to really think it through as you may change your mind. I think it will cause a lot of stress on you and your friends if you do this, and if you truly are a person who is terrified of rejection I would definitely say no dont do it, because it will cause you great anxiety.

  7. #7


    A fair piece of advice: Don't. Coming out of the nursery, as it were, is nothing like coming out of the closet.

  8. #8


    "Coming out of the nursery" than coming out of the closet, I like that phrase.

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