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Thread: Incontinence in University

  1. #1

    Default Incontinence in University

    Im just looking for a little help and advice to deal with my incontinence now that I've moved 200 miles away from home for university.

    So, just a little about me- Im 19 and was a bedwetter throughout my childhood. In October 2010, I was involved in a skull accident and I also had another traumatic incident around that time too, which well, just knocked me for six and caused me to become doubly incontinent both at day and night.

    So, its been just over 2 months since I moved to university. Its been an awesome change- Im doing a course that I absolutely adore and all of a sudden im high up in a social hierarchy, and im seen as being "cool and the person to hang around with". This is where my question stems from, because im really stressing out over my condition and trying to keep it as discreet as possible- Im very social and I have a high amount of lectures each week- 4/5 days I probably have 20 minutes break split over 9 hours so its all pretty frantic and im struggling to find a time and place to change myself, keep myself feeling clean and also keeping it discreet as I've normally got a bunch of people with me- This is obviously a massive problem for me, last Friday being a classic example where 10 minutes into a 2 hour lecture the urge hit me out of nowhere and i had a large BM.....not at all nice when you know you've got no other option but to sit there for 110 more minutes and will probably struggle to change myself properly until lunchtime.
    I've approached the university disability team about this and they're next to useless....unless you're dyslexic or in a wheelchair they couldn't care less, so I feel a little lost.

    I receive Maxi Tena Slips from the NHS to deal with my condition, which obviously aren't the most discreet diapers in the world- sometimes I can chance wearing Drynites, but these obviously cost money and mean I have to change myself more often.

    Does anyone have any tips on concealing bulky diapers, stop sagging and smell....Ive ordered an abena bodystocking, hoping this may help, but does anyone else have any ideas?
    Also, even though its been a year of me wearing diaper pretty constantly, Im still very nervous whilst out in public- Im writing this whilst travelling back to university on the train and I feel as if im being looked at weird....also, i get pretty weird looks and sarcastic remarks when I use disabled to change myself, but on reflection i doubt the general population expect a pretty average looking student to be dealing with such a problem.

    Thanks guys

  2. #2

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    As an university student myself I can completely relate your situation. Luckily I don't have much bowel related issues, I do suffer from IBS, but somehow the urge only hits when I'm at home or nearly at home.
    As I have a very busy timetable myself, I now it can be difficult to built in time for necessary changes. Do you have your classes in the same lecture hall or do you travel between lecture halls ? These are the ideal times for a change because it wouldn't be very obvious when going to the bathroom with your backpack.
    How many breaks do you have between lectures ? At my uni the classes are 2 hours, with 2 times a 15 minute coffee break, as most of the "normal" student population do have to go to the bathroom, grab a coffee, need a smoke etc. also...

    I don't know the arrangments of your lecture halls. But the bigger ones at my uni have a theatre lay out, with entrance at the front and at the back. The back is much used through student as many do walk in or out for whatever what reason (phone, being late, bathroom, work, other appoinments etc) a lot.......at my uni it wouldn't be suspicious If you walked out for a short time. Maybe it helps when you choose your sitting place at the side or somewhat more at the back (indeed also the more popular places for students) so it would be more easy for you to walk out.

    As for the visibility of the diapers, it's something I still struggle with also.....so you're not the only one. So far no one noticed, that I'm wearing. Like stated in many incontinence boards, people are too absorbed with their own things and like you stated would not suspect that a regular guy would be wearing diapers. Although I do take some measures in order to hide it:

    - Wearing a body can be helpfull.
    - Picking the right kind of jeans. Buying jeans I find one of the most awfull things (even before my incontinence) but I choose somewhat higher waist (comfort fit/regular fit jeans) and buy models with some more room in the back. I have good experiences with the more expensive brands. Also buying your jeans one waist size larger than you need is very handy as there is more room for the diaper.
    - I fold the top of the diaper down and hide it under a tight fitting dark colored boxershort
    - I use pretty much a white tucked in under shirt so that when my shirt/sweater would ride up nothing can be seen
    - A longer shirt/ sweater also does the trick.

    As for the saggin and smell; the boxerbriefs do help a lot for sagging and plastic pants do wonders for the smell. They hold back the smell much longer from my own experience especially after a BM.

    As I'm in the luxury position I can choose my own diapers here in the Netherlands, so I do have a whole variety for different activities or level of incontinence. I don't get why the NHS prescribes one sort of diapers, especially for younger and active people. The tena maxi diapers are good, but indeed a bit bulky for daytime. Have you ever tried the Supers and use the Maxi for nighttime ? There are many diapers available but from my own experience, the Attends slip (active/regular) and the Tena are the most discreet, body fitting and absorbing.

    Just become more at easy with your situation as it's something you can help, and do enjoy university!

  3. #3

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    You would probably benefit by getting yourself on a bowel program under the supervision of a doctor. Basically it consists of having a suppository placed in the morning at least two hours before you have to do anything for the day. Your basically have a forced bm in the morning and also one in the evening. That way your chances of having a bm greatly decrease unless you eat something that's sensitive to your stomach. As far as weAring diapers, you would only have to worry about being wet.

  4. #4

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    Chlorophyll is also supposed to help eliminate odors from bowel movements. You could try that.

    As far as your nervousness, I just went through an incredibly nasty situation where someone found out about my problem and proceeded to ridicule me in front of an audience. I was pretty crushed, paranoid, sick to my stomach, etc. I've gone to great lengths to conceal this problem from people.

    What I realized is that most people just honestly DO NOT CARE if you're wearing boxers, briefs, panties, or diapers. It's just not a big deal to them. By college you have enough of a melting pot of different sorts of people that the ones who do not tolerate differences very well are not tolerated themselves. Or, at least that was my experience. I've only ever been a bedwetter and mercifully my body spared me from that during my college, and most of my high school years. And the people who DO make fun of you, tend to be looked upon with scorn, or at least ignored.

    I think there is more sympathy out there in the (adult) population for this problem than what most people realize. Someone making fun of you for this, is no different than making fun of someone in a wheelchair. It's despicable behavior to make fun of someone with a disability - and that's the mindset that most of the (educated) populace holds.

  5. #5

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    The big problem for me with all this is that the "university disability team (are) next to useless". This is not what should be happening and I think should be challenged. Welsh Dragon has a history of traumatic injury and two serious incontinence issues that should lead to a sensible and effective programme to make the learning and enjoyment of university life fully available. At the least this should mean access to changing facilities with effective disposal bins so that there is no question of having to sit in potentially embarrassing discomfort for long periods of time. All the advice about disguising bulk and smell are good, but Welsh Dragon is entitled to better service than the university seem to be offering at the moment. Perhaps a continence adviser/specialist nurse referral from the campus doctor might help get things sorted.

  6. #6

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    Fully agree with dayandnight. Not really trying to say that the disability team is just self preservation society, but unfortunately for many people disability equals exclusively limited mobility. Maybe they just need some education (which sounds a bit ironic providing they're uni team).

    Don't worry too much about the bulkiness. Tena slip maxi is one of the diapers I use most often and never had any problems like that. Just don't wear too tight clothes (and also - not ridiculously baggy) and you'll be fine.

    Can't really offer much advice for double IC issue, but I guess plastic pants might be helpful. Also, speak to the doc or continence advisor - they should be able to help.

  7. #7

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    Just to quickly add that i have found the Tena Slip Maxi to be veryeffective for fecal incontinence - and not really bulky or obvious under clothing.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by TBDLBOY14 View Post
    You would probably benefit by getting yourself on a bowel program under the supervision of a doctor. Basically it consists of having a suppository placed in the morning at least two hours before you have to do anything for the day. Your basically have a forced bm in the morning and also one in the evening. That way your chances of having a bm greatly decrease unless you eat something that's sensitive to your stomach. As far as weAring diapers, you would only have to worry about being wet.
    Ask your doc about this, surprised no one has said anything. It's a good idea, but not knowing your scheduled I don't know if you have a spare 2 hours.



    Quote Originally Posted by dayannight View Post
    The big problem for me with all this is that the "university disability team (are) next to useless". This is not what should be happening and I think should be challenged. Welsh Dragon has a history of traumatic injury and two serious incontinence issues that should lead to a sensible and effective programme to make the learning and enjoyment of university life fully available. At the least this should mean access to changing facilities with effective disposal bins so that there is no question of having to sit in potentially embarrassing discomfort for long periods of time. All the advice about disguising bulk and smell are good, but Welsh Dragon is entitled to better service than the university seem to be offering at the moment. Perhaps a continence adviser/specialist nurse referral from the campus doctor might help get things sorted.
    Agree ^^

  9. #9

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    Just my opinion but if the people that think you're cool don't anymore because of a medical condition than they weren't your friends. What if you broke an arm? That's now a medical condition. What? So breaking an arm isn't as "not normal" of a medical condition yet unable to control pee and poop but taking logical steps to contain it is? Makes no sense.

  10. #10

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    Your saying you had a BM in class and sat there 2 hours and no one noticed or was like horribly offended by the smell?

    Something doesn't sound right here?

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