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Thread: So, does anyone feel jealous about the attention that little kids get?

  1. #1

    Default So, does anyone feel jealous about the attention that little kids get?

    That was one of the questions my mom just asked me today because I just got confronted by her about wearing diapers (granted this has happened before but it has been 2 or so years sense then) and I felt like telling her the truth about why I wear them, and the whole *B/DL thing I have.

    Of course it is my fault that this came up as well.

    I'm a bit confused about the research option she used as well:
    Adult Baby Syndrome -- Pate and Gabbard 160 (11): 1932 -- Am J Psychiatry

    Overall being confronted could have gone better I guess but at least it was just her doing it and no one else at the same time (yet).

    Still I'm pretty sure it is going to get worse but at least the questions are in my head still.

    So considering how I work with kids some other questions came up:

    Is there something physically/mentally wrong with you?
    Are you jealous of the kids you take care of?
    What would you do if a parent found out?
    Do you want to be a baby?

  2. #2


    wow i think she picked the worst psychology example of an adult baby to use on you, mostly because its a case of someone who either has a disability or is so wrapped up in it that it controls their life

  3. #3


    It appears to me that the person mentioned in the article is a bit of an exhibitionist. the mention of this "controlling" by scheduling appointments for that particular week may be a bit unterstandable, I myself have had scheduling conflicts with my job where I wind up in a situation where I cant leave the site until the issue is resolved (once in a great while)
    unscheduled problems that must be resolved that may require extended hours to resolve) which I can understand a cancellation of appointment, but, not normally a problem if mentioned to dispatch ahead of time. I usually make mention of personal appointments ahead of time. I think, in 10 years, I've only had to cancel one hard personal appointment in 10 years due to a work emergency.
    as far as something physically/mentally wrong with me? maybe, a little bit, but not enough to seriously damage my general functionality. I have accepted being diapered most of the time and am a bit incontinent now anyways.

    as far as kids I take care of, I don't currently have any, but foundmy teenage years taking care of a couple of babies (much younger sisters who are now grown). I find them cute on occasion, just like anyone else, fun sometimes even. yes, I find myself in a bit of a wistful mood when seeing a baby getting changed, but, oh well. It seems nice to have someone maybe taking care of me in that manner, but, oh well, it ain't likely to happen. as far as wanting to be a baby,yes, for a little while, but not permanently. it certainly isn't quite something to take over my life

  4. #4


    I can understand why people might think ab/dl is an attention thing, but I think she's barking up the wrong tree on this one. An analogy that might help her to understand what this is about is cross dressing, is there anything physically/mentally wrong with men who occasionally like to dress up as women and vice versa? Will it likely wreck their life?

    My answer in both cases would be no not really, and if my parents ever found out, this would be the explanation I would give.

  5. #5


    Maybe I should have used cross dressing example.

    I asked her if she would be acting this way if she found out I was gay for my example. Yes I admit to being a dumb **** though in case you guys were wondering.

    Overall though she seems to be ok with it (and those who are gay) long as me/they don't go out in public drawing attention to them (which I don't of course).

    She just says she has trouble understanding why I would want to do this, including wearing diapers and use them, but I guess it doesn't help her that she has trouble holding it in sometimes as far as urine goes when it comes to long trips (she had to drive a couple hundred miles to come here this weekend).

    Maybe I should have helped her out in understanding it more than just telling her to google it when she said she doesn't know anyone else who is like this, but I just didn't know what to do when she freaked out the way she did.

  6. #6


    There is, effectively, pretty much no research into Adult Babies as an issue of psychology. I think that, besides the whole small population issue, a large part of that is due to the fact the underlying issues that would cause difficulties in a persons life are already laid out

    Keep in mind most diagnosis are based on its effect on your life. If you want to wear diapers 24/7 but hold a career, have a home, have a significant other or are otherwise fine with your singledom, maintain healthy relationships etc there is 0 issues at hand for a therapist. No one talks about boot licking disorder. If you were having issues do to your desires there is a huge array of far more specific diagnosis than "being an adult baby." For example, a lot of people might find their therapist wanting to help them deal with an adjustment disorder or some broader dysfunction.

    Is there something physically/mentally wrong with you?
    -Maybe, but whatever it is wouldn't be "adult baby syndrome." You might have a disorder that plays to that, but the issue exists wholly on its own

    Are you jealous of the kids you take care of?
    -And if you are, so? Is she saying she is never jealous of the freedom kids have? Our popular media exists on a youth culture. Of course it focuses on teens and preteens, but conceptually it is the same. Adults almost all look back at childhood with some nostalgia.

    What would you do if a parent found out?
    -This, is always a difficult issue. The thing is it would be the same question if you were into bondage, or if you were gay, or if you were into spankings etc. People jump to it because of the kid association, but generally speaking any time a person works with kids they get ripped apart for any "deviancy." The fact is all you can do is stress your private life is just that, and deal with what comes after.

    Do you want to be a baby?
    -Do you? I bet even if you think yes the answer is no. It seems like most AB's like to visit, but don't want to live there. or if they live there that their conception of Abhood isn't really one of actual infancy. It, at its most extreme, seems to be mostly about a perceived relationship that relies on an unconditional love scenario. Again, wouldn't most people love to not have to work, and just stay home doing whatever they wanted all day? Is it really THAT crazy in this context.

    Is it a weird thing to be into? Sure, but lets not pretend that what drives a lot of it is dramatically different than what drives most people.

    I am, unabashedly, very jealous of the attention young kids get. Who WOULDN'T be. It is a time where seemingly the entire world revolves around you. Adults have fought wars for centuries over that idea. Who wouldn't love a relationship that could make them feel that way? The trappings might vary, but I seriously doubt if you asked a person "are you jealous of people in positions where their every need is met, and the world seemingly revolves around their desires and whims" that they would say no honestly, without reading into it.

    I Personally work a very adult job, one I enjoy quite a lot. At the end of the day though I very much love coming home, putting on some calming music, putting on a sleeper, some ruffled nappy pants, grabbing my bear, and letting go for a while. Pretty much everyone is the same way, their costume just isn't as fabulous.

  7. #7


    Quote Originally Posted by TootieTa View Post
    Is there something physically/mentally wrong with you?
    Are you jealous of the kids you take care of?
    What would you do if a parent found out?
    Do you want to be a baby?
    Reasonable questions from a parent.

    The article she used as reference was also reasonable and well written. The patient referenced apparently has some social issues, but is reasonably functional otherwise, as are most of us. The article concluded that we're a little wierd, but not nuts, as evidenced by the fact that only a very few end up in trouble or in treatment because they can't get along in society. I can't argue with that.

    You were fortunate that your mother didn't overreact irrationally as many parents might when confronted with behaviour this far from the norm.

  8. #8


    First off, my condolences on your mother finding out. I don't think you reacted any worse than I would have had my mother found out. And my mother is a borderline schizophrenic, so I can only imagine how she would blow finding a package of Depends in my closet, much less finding out about the more fetishest aspect of my interest.

    Is there something physically/mentally wrong with you?
    You're an adult, so it's no one's business either way. Even if your mother is concerned aboutyou, you need to stand your ground and make it clear that if there is something wrong with you, it is your responsibility to handle it.

    I'm not trying to fuel a conflict with your mother. It seems like she's handled it well from what you've told us. But you also don't want to lose the high ground in this, lest she or someone else try to "help" you in ways you don't want to be helped. (IE, scheduling appointments with therapists, etc)

    Are you jealous of the kids you take care of?
    I've worked with kids on and off in a variety of settings. And believe me I am not for a second jealous of some of the crap some of them had to put up with. From physically and emotionally abusive parents to neglectful environments, yeah, I'd be jealous of them if something were wrong with me.

    And as many on this site would agree, I tend to keep what goes on behind my bedroom door (or under my clothes) to myself. As long as you're doing the same and keeping everything compartmentalized, I think you're fine.

    What would you do if a parent found out?
    See my response to the first question.

    Do you want to be a baby?
    No. Generally my major fantasy involves more of a nurse/patient or some other kind of caretaker relationship. So a functional adult overall but with toileting issues.

  9. #9


    Is there something physically/mentally wrong with you?
    Eee-yup. Physically partial incontinence and dyspraxia (which sometimes makes my co-ordination like that of a child), mentally, let's not go there here! XD But yeah, I consider myself mentally abnormal, 'different', 'special' (not in a good way :P)...whatever you wanna call it. But I don't think that's the case for everyone into this, not at all.

    Are you jealous of the kids you take care of?/So, does anyone feel jealous about the attention that little kids get?
    Very. I can sort of take care of little children, but...I cannot...seperate myself from them, if that makes sense? Like, okay, I can do all the cuddlyloveydovey 'Aren't you cuuute?' stuff, and honestly, I'm great at PLAYING with children...but mostly (especially with older kids) I interact with them as a peer. If I'm the only adult, that can cause problems sometimes. And when I am with kids/it's suggested I should hang out with kids, I sometimes feel grr and resentful about how much attention and love and understanding they get, while I feel the same emotions and have to 'deal' with it. 'She's 9 and you're 17!' is something I'm commonly told

    What would you do if a parent found out?
    Pretty much what I DID do...try to explain reasonably, cry lots, and when they wouldn't accept it, grow apart from them a little and keep participating in secret.

    Do you want to be a baby?
    No. Sometimes, I would like to have the physical appearance of a child, but I know it is impossible. Not a BABY though.

  10. #10


    There are much easier and beneficial ways of getting attention.

    The fact that she's bringing real kids into this is scary, and something i would definitely address.

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