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Thread: I've only been back for 2 Months... I'm homesick for a place that's not my home?

  1. #1

    Default I've only been back for 2 Months... I'm homesick for a place that's not my home?

    For those who don't know my background. Over the summer did an Internship at DC spent 10 weeks there. Meet an amazing person that I hung out with a lot. We bonded yatta yatta. Well I miss her a lot and I miss everything I had I miss the life I knew over there fucked up shit is I can never get it back. I will never be able to hang with her like that again, I won't ever have that life... not possible, I miss it obviously like hell... to the point where I'm miserable here. I'm miserable back in my home... the house I grew up in with the people I love. I long for an empty apartment with my roomates gone... and no privacy? WHY the FUCK?!

    My current room is only 8X10 (feet) it's no bigger then a walking closet back in the US. People I live around are just too fucking idiotic and below my intelligence level. (Puertorricans) I've grown to despise my own race? WTF?! I'm a racist? No cool man...

    I keep talking to my friend E...friend from DC she's moved on shes out of PR and I envy her... shes able to find jobs rather quickly obviously not in her field but hey it's something while I cannot find anything. Nothing...I got rejected by Mcdonalds here.... how pathethic is that? Yet I see blaring morons fucking idiots just doing nothing.

    Doesn't help that I miss her and want to hang out with her again and her uprupt depature from PR kinda has me messed up sometimes. Didn't get to say good bye not really and I envy her situation sometimes. She has what I want. obviously I'm still in my third year of college and shit... But my family is driving me insane not a day goes by that I long to be back... what do I do? Shit is what I long for is something I can never get back... never ever ever get back?

    And I don't get why I'm homesick for a place that never felt like a home? A place that was empty and made me depress at times? WTF?! Why do I feel this way I just dont' get it.... I only have 7 months left here before I move. I don't know what to do with myself.... parents driving me crazy no income...no job.... nothing.... FML.... advice please?

  2. #2

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    I dont know how to put this exactly, but maybe you have just outgrown your home. People live in different places for a reason, we dont all like the same thing, maybe after knowing something different you realized thats more what you want.

    I really want to move out and not live where I do. I live in southern CA, and where people may think thats a great place to live, I really want to get out of here, its not for me.
    After spending a good amount of time in The pacific northwest Id much rather live there. Acually, After spending alot of time in sweeden, I miss that place too and want to go back. You could even go as far as to say Im homesick, even though I am where I grew up.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Orcaway View Post
    I really want to move out and not live where I do. I live in southern CA, and where people may think thats a great place to live, I really want to get out of here, its not for me.
    After spending a good amount of time in The pacific northwest Id much rather live there. Acually, After spending alot of time in sweeden, I miss that place too and want to go back. You could even go as far as to say Im homesick, even though I am where I grew up.
    I had to get back to Massachusetts after living in San Diego for 10 years. Really a 'plastic' place is the best way to describe it.
    Dragsnick, what about saving money and moving back?

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by kite View Post
    I had to get back to Massachusetts after living in San Diego for 10 years. Really a 'plastic' place is the best way to describe it.
    Dragsnick, what about saving money and moving back?
    I had the same thought. I plan to live in Boston. It's just a matter of getting a career I can take there.

    What's keeping you in PR? Doesn't seem to be a job.

  5. #5

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    The thing keeping me in PR is my college education. I'll graduate in may get married and move to dc...that's the plan but what will I do till may?

  6. #6

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by kite View Post
    What happens in May?
    I'm assuming that's his graduation.

    Anyway, I think that's your answer- wait another 7 months and you can have what you want. Not to be callous, but unless there are immediate problems (like you can't pay bills), I don't think there's a good answer beyond twiddle your thumbs or find a good book or throw yourself into classwork.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by NightFox View Post
    I'm assuming that's his graduation.

    Anyway, I think that's your answer- wait another 7 months and you can have what you want. Not to be callous, but unless there are immediate problems (like you can't pay bills), I don't think there's a good answer beyond twiddle your thumbs or find a good book or throw yourself into classwork.
    Yeah I just want general advice until I get out..how to keep sane...why Im homesick for a place that never felt like home.

  9. #9

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    Until your graduate and can move, begin to create your next life in your mind. When my wife was so terribly sick, I dreamed of being a kid and back home where I used to live. I Google Earthed it and was shocked to see that it was changed; all built up. That's when I started writing my novel. I created my family who had to move there, a small community like the one I grew up in.

    Think of where you and (your soon to be wife?) would move. If it's Washington D. C., find pictures of DC and put them around your room. Read about DC. Go on line and look at it. Internalize it just as I have Holly Park. Write a story about you living there, and your adventures, or someone else who lives there. Then start researching it for jobs, apartments, restaurants. Begin to make a list or keep a journal about what you would do if you lived there. After awhile, 7 months will have vanished and you can then do something about it. Good luck.

  10. #10

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    Let's see, I left Western North Carolina and my family because I was living in a lean too in Pisgah National Forest. I had two jobs, my forebrain, major depression, and a '95 Chevy Cavalier. I moved to Danville, Va knowing unemployment was above 13%, my inlaws lived there, and cost of living was cheaper. with those possessions, I gave up one day and sped down I 40 East as fast as I could to US 29 North from Greensboro, NC. I don't know how fast I was going because the speedometer was bouncing on maximum. However, I did get pulled for doing 85MPH in a 60 MPH zone in Hickory.

    When I made it to Danville, I stopped at Ryan's Steak and Buffet and filled out an application. I got a job in the very same hour working in the Bakery. It wasn't easy and it was only 15 hours on the weekend but I made it. Now I live in a very modest two room house, that is I live in a kitchen and living room with my wife and kid. I now work in mental health 40 hours a week with a little chump change left in my pocket after bills to go eat at McDonnalds on Sunday.

    I don't miss Western North Carolina much except maybe Graveyard Fields up on the Parkway and Bracken Mountain Bakery located in Brevard and of course, my family. I've gone back to visit, but every time I go down there, I get depressed so I only go once a year.

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