So, big question here. I am going into mechanical engineering, and i do enjoy the engineering classes a good bit, they are actually pretty cool. However it has always been my dream to go into ceramics art. I know that the life of an artist can often be challenging financially, but I feel really confident in my ability to produce quality products, and art of unique and intriguing style.
My problem is the conflict in my mind. The best way i can explain it, is the feeling of being trapped. I feel like for one, i am trapped by the expectations of my parents, which i don't think is entirely bad, it helps to have someone who has high hopes for you, however it is stressful not wanting to disappoint someone, while you want something else for yourself. I also feel trapped in myself, because I know that i am capable of being a mechanical engineer, and two things arise because of it. 1) is that i wan't to be capable of raising a family, and i know i can if i am an engineer. 2) i don't want to think to myself that i am giving up because of the stresses, thinking to myself I collapsed because I felt like school was kicking my butt.
The thing is, I also don't want to feel like to myself that I gave up on my dream. Whenever i get stressed out from school, i'll say "i just wish i could be a potter." Along with that, is that my long term plan is to get through school as an engineer, and then to become a potter as soon as i can, weather it be before or after retirement, depending on what works best. I also know that there are potters in the world that make a fine living and have a happy family, which is all that i want, i don't want to be a genius, i just wan't to be a good person, with a good life.
So I don't know what my feelings are telling me, weather i should be patient, or weather i should reach for my dream. Honestly I know that the path will be challenging, but i know i will do good, and will love it.