Alright, without getting into a hugely detailed and unreadable mess, I need help with my mother. To begin, I initiated a total separation of contact with my mom a few years ago. I did this because she is an overbearing and manipulative person, and I no longer want her in my life.
The culmination of all my years of frustration with her was when she came to visit me in Colorado for Thanksgiving. All we did was argue the whole time, and then she came down with one of her patented "ailments" that require her to have attention and doting paid to her, and that almost always seem to arise whenever she's unhappy with a given situation. This type of thing is not limited solely to situations regarding me, but also with her job and other family members. When I was still living at home she was once "sick" from work for an entire month and a half, and that is not an exaggeration. Anyway, I put up with it and then booted her ass home when her visit was complete.
A few weeks later I up and moved to Texas to live with my Mommy who I'd been chatting with and talking on the phone with for months prior. Shortly after moving I was bombarded by emails, letters, phone calls, probably smoke signals, any and every possible means of contact by her all of which were extremely concerned in tone and many of which questioned whether I was still alive or not. I ignored all of these things and simply sent an email explaining that I was fine and that I would contact her when I wanted to, and not because she was harassing me.
Flash forward to Christmas Eve where a uniformed police officer shows up at the door asking for me. He explains that my mother, who lives in California, called the station and asked for them to do a wellness check on me because she hadn't heard from me in a while and was concerned. I politely explained that my mother was insane and that I would deal with her, then I apologized and shut the door in his face as he was lecturing me about the importance of keeping in contact. The next day I wrote a very strongly worded letter explaining that I was done with her insanity and that I wanted nothing more to do with her...and the harassment stopped.
It stopped until yesterday. Three years went by, and I heard not one word from my mother, and then yesterday I get an email from her on an email account I never gave her filled with Hallmark sentiments and quotes from "I'll Love You Forever, I'll Like You For Always." and proclamations that she's "accepting" of my AB lifestyle, oh and that she read my AB stories and thought they were good. *shudder*
And that my friends is pretty much the long and veiny of it. I don't know what to do about this situation. I have some ideas, but none of them really seem to ring out that they'll solve anything. My ideas are as follows:
1. I ignore her and wait till one of us is dead and the problem solves itself. (That sounds like an awful thing to say, but I feel it's pretty accurate)
2. I reply with a very realistic portrayal of what she'd be witness to if we ever met again, meaning that she'd see her grown son potentially wearing a soiled diaper at some point. (Mommy would be with me no matter what the situation, so there wouldn't be any bio mom AB diaper changes...in case you were wondering.)
3. I have Mommy reply to her in an email that resembled something a parent would send a friend in regards to their child. Baby pictures, cute stories, updates on goings on in the little ones life. (Like #2 I worry that rather than scare her off it would be that crack in the door she's looking for that she would happily take advantage of regardless of how undesirable the situation may actually be.)
4. I nuke the site from orbit. It really is the only way to be sure that it's over. (In this one I reply with a mean spirited letter that basically tells her to leave me alone or I'll get a restraining order. My concern here is that the next thing I get in the mail is a letter saying that she killed herself, which she allegedly attempted, or that she died of a broken heart or some shit. I don't want that on my conscience.
I am happier now than I have been at any other point in my adult life, and every time shit like this comes up it skews my whole life. I am at peace most of the time, and now I can't shut off my anger and resentment long enough to get to sleep. I am at my wits end with this woman, and I am, for the first and hopefully only time, pleading for someone to help me out. I've seen the compassion people have on this board, I've seen the wisdom people have on this board, and I've seen the wealth of combined life experience pool together to offer a path for those that find themselves lost in the dark forest of life. I humbly ask that if you have some insight that may help that you kick it my way. Thank you very much for your time.
P.S. Any attempts at humor in this post were made because that's just my way of dealing, please don't view any of it as me not taking the Mature Topics section seriously. Thank you again.