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Thread: Hello there:)

  1. #1

    Default Hello there:)

    So hi all of you there

    I kinda hate introduction (never know what to say and stuff). Well I live in Europe, I'm 18 years old. The reason why I'm here is because my boyfriend is a DL'er and I'm having some questions about it.
    Hope this is enough for y'all?
    If you have any questions, feel free to ask.
    Greetings to you all out there
    Xx SmashingHeadphones

  2. #2


    We have a terrific little sticky with a cheat sheet for introductions if it would help.

    Nice to see you're here looking for information! Me or anyone else on the site would be glad to answer any questions you have. If you'd like to share any hobbies or aspirations for the future you have, we'd be happy to listen :)

    You're lucky to live in the Netherlands, what a unique place; ever been to Amsterdam?

  3. #3


    Hi Smashingheadphones,
    welcome to Adisc, hopefully you will be able to find the answers you are looking for. There is certainly plenty of support available. If you would like to give us some info about yourself then why not tell us a little about your hobbies and interests, tastes in books, music and movies. If you need some inspiration have a look at as there are some good ideas in it.

    There is also an article for friends and relatives you might find useful at:-

    But other than that, please feel free to ask any questions and we will do our best to answer them.

  4. #4


    Well thanks
    I actually adore music. I think that if I could I would listen to it all day. I like stuff like Panic! At The Disco, Taylor Swift, Colbie Caillat, Lady Antebellum, Hayseed Dixie, Blof (which is a Dutch band), Jurk! (also a Dutch band), Emily Osment, Maroon 5, Miley Cyrus, Scouting For Girls... A lot of different stuff you can say
    I also like to see movies (there are so many good ones out there)
    I just started a study which is called "Architecture, Building and Planning""
    And yes, I've been to Amsterdam. I usually visit it about two times a year for shopping Ever been there yourself?
    My boyfriend is pretty open about it... To me I mean We've talked about it pretty much. He has showed me some articles about it too so I kinda know what I jumped into
    Just joined 'cause I was curious how you guys manage to be in a relationship, how your girl/boyfriend thinks about it and how they accept it.
    I have to say I'm trying to get some advise on how to accept it as well
    I do have to say I think it's great you guys are willing to help me - it must be a bit weird to talk about accepting it if for you it's well.. I wouldn't say normal but a part of you.
    If someone wants advise about what it's like for someone on the other side, feel free to ask I'd be happy to help you guys out too. Maybe make it a bit easier to come out if you haven't yet, or understand behaviour of others about it.
    Oh and excuse me if I'm like really bad in English. Do try to make it as good as I can, but I actually kinda suck at it:P So sorry about that.
    Love, SmashingHeadphones

    ---------- Post added at 10:45 ---------- Previous post was at 10:40 ----------

    Oh and as you may have noticed, I actually use smileys WAY too often. I usually don't even realize that until I see the post. Sorry about that!(A)
    Oh and I've got a bit of a crazy mind, I might have to tell you guys that too. As illustration: I actually came up with my username because I was listening to The Smashing Pumpkins with my headphones on(HELLO KITTY HEADPHONES<3 I adore hello kitty) and I saw how you could combine those too by smashing your headphones.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by SmashingHeadphones View Post
    I have to say I'm trying to get some advise on how to accept it as well
    I do have to say I think it's great you guys are willing to help me - it must be a bit weird to talk about accepting it if for you it's well.. I wouldn't say normal but a part of you.
    Actually, it wouldn't be, because most of us have been through the process of accepting this side of ourselves, and it can be a long hard road.

    On another note, hello! Welcome to the site, I hope you find all of the answers you need, and I hope you stick around after you have them!

  6. #6


    Hi again,
    non of that seems too crazy, except your taste in music, I have heard of 1 band in your list. Personally I haven't been to Amsterdam, but way back in the 60's my parents and I visited some relatives (He was in the Royal Air Force (UK)) in Venlo and as part of the holiday my father took us to Nijmegen, where he had served during the war.

    After I was married to my late wife, I decided to tell her the truth about my AB feelings. I was one of the lucky ones, not only did she acccept it she also played an active role. I don't think anyone can tell you how to 'accept it', that has to come from you, what we could possible help with is how to manage the situation, depending on you feel about him wearing and using nappies. The first thing I would suggest is you have a sit down with him and find out (sorry some of these are going to be very personal questions):-

    a). Why he wears them
    b). Does he use them for their intended purpose? (does he wet them or soil them?).
    c). Is it a sexual attraction? (does he masturbate in them? or does he use them and then masturbate in them?).
    d). Does he wear them because they makes him feel safe or babyish?

    If you can get the answers to those, it might help you understand his need a little better, and if you could let us know the answers, then we can be more specific with our suggestions and support.

    Generally there are two main reasons people are attracted to nappies. The first one is because there is a sexual attraction, so they may masturbate while wearing one or fantasize and masturbate, this also includes using them and masturbating. Or he might like stuffing them (stuffing is where you use something to simulate a full nappie, so they put things like warm oatmeal in the nappy or mashed banana and then sit around in it, they may or may not masturbate.

    The other main reason is that they want to look or feel like a baby, this might include other baby things like dummies or baby bottles. Or it may be that when wearing a nappy they feel safe or comforted or calm. So as you cab=n see lots of reasons for why he wears them.

  7. #7


    Yeah ok, you're right - everybody on this forum had to go through acceptation. Though I do think it's a bit different when it's not you but somebody else - if it's you eventually you know it's who you are and you can't run away from it. But when it's somebody else, like a boyfriend... There is this part of you that just knows you could run away from it. That's a part I actually totally hate. I don't want to leave my boyfriend, since he means so much to me.. But a part of me always tells me I could just go away from all of it...
    I'll try to stick around after I got my answers I want to help others too, in any way I can. If telling my story or giving advise how to come clean about it to your loved ones can help others, I'd be glad to do so.
    hehe well my head is a bit crazy, I do have to say. But I'm proud of that
    Oh Nijmegen, that's awesome! Three of my friends just moved to Nijmegen, I heard it's awesome to live there (never been there, or else I didn't remember)
    Yeah i figured that too, that there no way or path to accept it, except for trying to.
    I started a thread yesterday about the situation,
    he hasn't tried them yet. It's like a wave with him - there are moments he doesn't even think about it and moments he desperately wants to try them and looks all over the internet what sorts there are and where he could buy them and so on. He still isn't sure what it means to him, which makes my job in accepting it a bit harder. I don't know yet what I have to accept, but I know there is something. He tried messing though (he likes plastic too so he tried it in there a few times).
    Which basically bugs me is not the fact that he tries stuff - I mean, I don't mind. I actually told him that maybe he should try diapers sometime, just to make up his mind about it. I find it hard to hear how he doesn't know what he wants with it, and how he struggles with it sometimes. Me not knowing if I can accept it may be making it only worse for him.
    At first I thought it was a fase - he was in the last year of high school for the second time and he just didn't want to grow up (I think he actually failed the first time because he was too afraid of what would come if he would leave high school and was supposed to be grown-up and stuff). But this year he did pass his finals (that's how you call it right?) and he is actually having such a great time on his college. So I think I've begun to realize that this is not just a fase and there is more behind it then just being afraid of college. Maybe that's why I decided to go here, 'cause now I realized I actually will have to accept this part of his life for longer then I at first expected.

  8. #8


    Welcome to ADISC

  9. #9

  10. #10


    Hi again,
    the bit about not wanting it for ages and then being really inyo it and looking over the internet for things is what we call the purge/binge cycle and just about everyone in Adisc knows what it feels like. You really want to wear a nappy or really want to be babied, but then you feel guilty or perhaps dirty for having these feelings and thoughts, soyou hide all your things away. some people get so upset with themsleves they give everything away, even if they have only used 1 nappy from a pack. In onbe of the sites that I'm a meber off someone gave away a full size nursery, clothes all sorts, 1000's of Euro's worth. But within 6 months he was collecting again.

    You said in the other thread (thanks for the link) that you wouldn't want to change him. I assume that to mean, you wouldn't want to make him different? lets just assume for a minute that rather than a dl he's more of an adult baby, how would you feel about being his Girlfriend and his mummy? If it is that side of being a dl he is looking for and you could accept it, it would almost certainley strenghten you relationship. the fact that he has already trusted you enough to tell you al this means a lot to him, it also means he trusts you 200% completely and utterly and that sort of trust can bring a lot of power with it. And I'm not suggestiong the next time he messes a nappy you rush to chnage him, the relationship is usually much more subtle thatn that. yes at some point yhou would chnage his nappy and wash him and put in clean one jsut as you would with another 2 or 3 year old, but as mummy, you can set the rules and the boundaries that can't be crossed. If in the end you decide you can't accept the fact that he needs this fetish, but want to stay with him, then we will come back to rules and boundaries as they will still need to be set.

    So have a think about that, perhaps write some things down for when you have 'that' talk with him. Being his mummy is just an idea, there are others depending on what you want and what you can or can't accept, but until you talk to him and find out what he feels about nappies and everything else you don't have much information to make decisions on.

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