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Thread: A situation and questions about free samples

  1. #1

    Default A situation and questions about free samples

    As the title suggests, I am looking into free samples. However, they would not be for me. I have mentioned before here that I take care of my disabled father who uses a bedpan. For the last four months and about every 3-6 weeks he goes into uncontrollable diarrhea that lasts about a day. Last night was a particularly bad incident. The first sign is a sour stomach and after 3 hours or so it either comes out while he is asleep or when he thinks its just gas. The doctors say that it is just from whatever infection of the month he has. Any other time he has complete control. I have not sat down and talked with him about protection, but on numerous occasions he has said that he would rather die than wear diapers.

    My plan is to order the free samples and not say anything until they come in. When they do I will sit down with him and explain that I ordered them for when he gets a sour stomach. I will tell him that it is entirely his choice if he wants to wear them when he gets sick and that I won't pressure him in any way. I will also say that I just wanted them around the house just in case he changes his mind(I am hoping that if he doesn't have to ask me to buy them that it will be easier for him to accept having to use them). I will also remind him that he never leaves the house when he gets a sour stomach so no one will ever need to know. I won't mention how much easier it will be for me to clean him up but that will be implied. I want to show as much compassion and understanding that I can.

    Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can better handle this?

    Also, are there any distinguishing labels on the free sample packages that I need to be wary of? We live next door to my mother and I want it to be up to him if he wants her to know. I don't want her to be able to be nosy when the package comes in and find out what they are.

    Finally, is there a particular brand which would be better for bowel IC? Resealable tapes or velcro would be a must since I'm sure he will still want to use his urinal.

  2. #2

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    Quote Originally Posted by JackTheWriter View Post
    but on numerous occasions he has said that he would rather die than wear diapers.
    If the bedpan is keeping his sheets clean, he may simply not be willing. You should have a much better chance of convincing him if he's having actual accidents. Lots of good arguments come into play at that point. If he still has enough control to use a bedpan, the frustration of trying to get out of the diaper in time to use the bedpan may only make him dislike the diapers more.

    Odds are good he'll want to get up right away and shower or something if he loses control in the diaper, so containment probably isn't going to be as big of an issue as it would be otherwise with someone that may be rolling around in bed after the fact. Just avoid a low grade diaper that's only intended for light urinary IC.

    I don't have any experience with velcro diapers so someone else will have to make recommendations on brand here, but that sounds like a good way to go for your father. Also if he dislikes the idea of diapers, a cloth backed type (as most velcro are) is probably going to be a little more acceptable than an all-plastic with tapes.

    You may also want to bring this up in the incontinence forum if you haven't already. There are a lot of IC users there that would have other good information for you that don't frequent the Diaper Chat forum.


    I assume you've already explored dietary changes to help mitigate the problem? Doesn't sound like you can stop it, but maybe lower the volume or lower the water content to make things easier to deal with?

  3. #3

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    Just a possibly over cautions word of warning - lowering water content - if bambinod means restricting fluids- could be dangerous in some situations and it would probably be best ot take professionnal advice from a nurse or doctor aobut how best to cope with those infrequent incidents.

  4. #4

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    agreed, usually if you have diarrhea there's usually already a risk of dehydration, I don't mean to restrict fluid intake, but to see if there's a recommended dietary change or medication to try to increase fluid retention. Immodium, cheese, whatever works and is safe.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by bambinod View Post
    If the bedpan is keeping his sheets clean, he may simply not be willing. You should have a much better chance of convincing him if he's having actual accidents. Lots of good arguments come into play at that point. If he still has enough control to use a bedpan, the frustration of trying to get out of the diaper in time to use the bedpan may only make him dislike the diapers more.
    The bedpan is fine 90 percent of the time. The only time I would even suggest the diaper is when he starts getting a sour stomach. This has been a very reliable indicator of when he will lose control.



    Quote Originally Posted by bambinod View Post
    I assume you've already explored dietary changes to help mitigate the problem? Doesn't sound like you can stop it, but maybe lower the volume or lower the water content to make things easier to deal with?
    Yes, I have looked into this and the only thing that I can't get him to change is his coffee intake.



    Quote Originally Posted by bambinod View Post
    You may also want to bring this up in the incontinence forum if you haven't already. There are a lot of IC users there that would have other good information for you that don't frequent the Diaper Chat forum.
    Yeah, I wasn't sure which forum would be better when I first wrote this. Would the mods have a problem with double posting if I copy my first post there?

    ---------- Post added at 09:54 ---------- Previous post was at 09:43 ----------

    I want to add that my father does not know that I am AB\DL and I am not looking at this as a way of broaching the subject. Also, whatever I get for him will be completely separate from my own supply. The only benefit(besides easier cleanup) that I am looking at for myself is that it might be easier for me to get my own deliveries if he has them coming in too.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by JackTheWriter View Post
    The bedpan is fine 90 percent of the time. The only time I would even suggest the diaper is when he starts getting a sour stomach. This has been a very reliable indicator of when he will lose control.
    It's probably a matter of a bug irritating his digestive system. The stomach often tolerates it but gives the butterflies, but the intestines don't and will just race things through without doing much work, creating the problem. There should be some medicine he can take to desensitize his intestines? Pepto or immodium? I'd expect his doctor to have already recommended such things.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by bambinod View Post
    There should be some medicine he can take to desensitize his intestines? Pepto or immodium? I'd expect his doctor to have already recommended such things.
    Quite the opposite, actually. When it happens in the hospital my father begs for pepto and immodium but every time the doctors refuse because there are usually faint traces of blood in his stool. They have never came back with a definitive reason why this happens and he has had many test done. So far it is a medical mystery.

  8. #8

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    Getting back to hte main point it seems to me to be important that osmeone in the IP's father's situation is kept a psotive and secure in his own mind as possible - There are often situations where having a diaper would make managmeent of a sick or elderly person easier - but until they are ready for it the price of even gently forcing the issue might be too great. Could you mirror at home the way the hospital cope when dad is there?

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