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Thread: Soon to be roommates

  1. #1

    Question Soon to be roommates

    So, in about a month or two I'll be moving out of my little hole in the wall into the city (D.C. - District of Columbia)...I'm moving in with a friend of mine and's one of those were in I can speak to him about almost any subject matter. I mean from my misc. fetishes to the girl he banged the other week (as bros always do it seems...brostatically speaking of course)...dunno. It's just how do I break it to him that this is who I am?

    I sort of forgot all about my DL side when I agreed and signed the freaking lease.. :| I wouldn't be all up in a moody disposition about it if not for the fact that he has a bigger mouth than me. I mean I do stand up at times and I'm known to take any criticism possible with a smile on my face...but this is sort of crossing the line into an area of my life I've kept private from so many people. I'm wondering how to deal with the situation.

    Tad bit o' info on the new roomy:
    1. He's transgendered...known him since he was a her and still the coolester person i've ever met.
    2. We did date about 5 years back...quite strange
    3. Lives the Bro code to the O/T
    4. Very active in the LGBT community as well as the local fetish scene (aka a lot of my friends)

    I dunno...I could be stressing over nothing but it's driving me up the walls and making me contemplate trying to hide it further.

    So, your thoughts on what I should or how I should tackle the situation from an Adult's perspective?

  2. #2


    I think you should just press on with whatever DL/DF/Sissy stuff you like. He's transgendered, so I figure he already knows what it feels like to make very socially awkward changes in order to feel comfortable in your body. And he already knows all about fetishes and how they get stuck in your head.

    As long as you begin by keeping it private, and maybe not even mentioning it until he asks, you basically have a free pass once he does notice and brings it up in conversation.

  3. #3


    Maybe you should just talk to him. If you guys have been friends for ~5 years, then you could try to communicate how important it is that this remain a secret. :\

  4. #4


    Don't worry. 5 years as a friend is good. You've signed a lease and most importantly he understands fetishes and their importance. I'm sure he had sim issues before he took the step and values friendship like yours. Good luck. I'm sure it will bond your friendship more

  5. #5


    Five years as a friend is great. But friendships tend to get very blurry when a friend becomes the person you see every single day of the week.

    I'm speaking out of experience here. I've had roommates who I consider great friends even now and then I had roommates who were drunk most of the time and did or said things to make me wonder how I did not wind up in prison for murdering them with a frying pan. (Mostly because there was no frying pan available)

    Is this your first roommate situation?

  6. #6


    I don't have much experience, but it sounds like you two are good friends to each other, and if he knows about fetishes then maybe he wouldn't mind all that much. Maybe start by asking what he thinks about diaper fetishes; the worse you can do is keep it a secret. You may discover he supports you or may want to ask you more about it :3

    The choice is yours, but be tactfully and find the right time and no matter what assure him you don't want it to affect your relationship negatively O:

  7. #7


    You definitely need to tell him.

    I'd say that some night when you two are hanging out over a beer watching some stupid shit on the TV, if the conversation starts going in that direction, give it a nudge, then use the opportunity to spill the beans. From there, if you guys are good friends, just ask him to be discreet about it. No sweat.

  8. #8


    considering he's transgendered, he abides by the sanctity of the bro code, and he sounds pretty accepting from what you're saying- I would say that it might be alright to tell him- and usually I'm really against people telling each other because it sometimes ends bad. You don't need to tell him, but from how you described him it sounds like he'd be pretty cool about it

  9. #9


    I'd tell him. He sounds like a fairly open minded person and from what you've described, a pretty good friend.

    However, as NateSean mentioned, having someone as a friend is different from having someone as a roommate. My best friend from high school goes to the same college as me, and we briefly considered being roommates until we realized that every time we spend more than a few nights in the same space we want to strangle each other. Sometimes when you're comfortable with someone it's easier to treat them disrespectfully than it is to do the same to a stranger--- maybe because you can almost feel entitled to since the relationship is established. On the other hand, I've lived with a stranger I hated and another friend who I could tell almost anything, so sometimes it does work out.

    I would suggest (no matter who you're rooming with) to be upfront about habits and other things that might impact the way you both live. Luckily for you you're in a situation where you don't have to break this news to a stranger or keep a secret. I had to find ways to change my diapers in the morning without my first (evil) roommate finding out and it sucked. Good luck!

  10. #10


    Just to add a bit of balance to the people who had bad experiences being roommates with friends, one of my best friends and I were roommates for about four years, and we're still good friends even now, two years after he moved out. He's the first person I came out to, both out of the gay closet and the diaper closet. He took both in stride. Hell, what kind of a friend and roommate can sit and commiserate with you over martinis (both of us had been having a bit of a rough stretch), and then not even say a word when his obviously diapered roommate leaks so badly he soaks the couch?

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