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Thread: A word needs to be said for the disabled

  1. #1

    Default A word needs to be said for the disabled

    In a forum full of pro diaper stuff (obviously) I just thought I would take a minute to mention those who through no fault of their own will never be toilet trained. There are some kids and adults that will never be able to walk under their own power or see to their most basic needs. Others are totally ambulatory and just have among other issues an inability to receive signals in time. We have all worn weather for fun or some form of sexual gratification but continent people have the option to wear or not wear.

    I did three summers at a camp for Special Needs Kids and the youngest kids the six year olds typically didn't bust the chops of the kids in diapers. It was hardest for the kids that were older 11-13. These were the kids you would have to keep an eye on in terms of hydration because some of them would sooner die of heat stroke then have to wet themselves. The most heartbreaking conversation I ever had during my time on the job was with a 14 year old who was flirting with a girl he really liked at the dance and went to the bathroom without realizing it. She liked him and did her best not to notice but he was inconsolable and we to call his mother to come pick him up.

    Not to say that there a weren't situations that weren't borderline hilarious one year we had a kid who had this problem and was capable of taking care of himself (but he told us he wasn't) so we took it on faith he was telling the truth he only wanted one of our female staff to take care him at bedtime I don't fancy the ladies but I must say she had gigantic....natural enhancements. He got away with this for 4 days until the cheeky little idiot called his order brother to brag. His brother thought it was hilarious but figured we needed to know the truth. Nice try kid sorry your fun got ruined.

    Thats just a few of the stories I've got regarding this stuff I've left out many of the more disgusting ones and it was odd how it didn't raise any red flags that I was always somewhere else when someone needed to be changed.

  2. #2

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    Thank you for posting, I am disabled, I have Cerebral Palsy and I've had continents issue my entire life. It really hard for me as a kid, I got bullied alot. As I got better adjusted to things, I also became sexually attracted to diapers which also help my adjustment. Thanks pointing the struggles we face, hopefully people are becoming more understanding.

  3. #3

  4. #4

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    I like it when people post stuff like this. I may not be IC, but I also have Cerebral Palsy. I like to see ordinary people who take the time to be aware of it.

  5. #5

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    Agreed - this is encouraging. Some of hte most exciting bits of human interaction I have witnessed have been with quite severely affected people who have achieved - in one case a young man who took 3 months to learn how to use lego - and then never looked back- and on another at a special school awards ceremony where a prize was given to a teenager who had achieved continence after years of trying and didn't need pads anymore - in some settings this would have bene cringe making -but among his peers it (rightly) led to a rousing cheer.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by dayannight View Post
    and on another at a special school awards ceremony where a prize was given to a teenager who had achieved continence after years of trying and didn't need pads anymore .
    Not to undermine the mood of this thread, but that reminds me of a very old episode of South Park where the town had a big celebration for the nurse with conjoined twin myslexia. On the surface it looked like a bunch of well meaning people trying to reach out to someone they determined to be "disabled", but on the inside it was humiliating this woman even more by calling attention to something that she didn't feel was worth mentioning.

    I get the intent behind a "reward ceremony" but I have to admit with your assessment of being cringe worthy. I won't get much further into that.

    As to the OP, I thank you for starting this thread and bringing this up. As the thread title says, this needed to be said. Some people genuinely do have bladder difficulties and while they wear their burden like a suit of armor as opposed to carrying it lie heavy chains, they would probably just as quickly give it up if they had the chance.



    Thats just a few of the stories I've got regarding this stuff I've left out many of the more disgusting ones and it was odd how it didn't raise any red flags that I was always somewhere else when someone needed to be changed.
    I don't think it's so odd. You've obviously got some common sense if you're working in this place. Though I've personally known perverts who were hired as teachers in schools and daycares, I get the feeling that you approach the job professionally and compassionately.

    And lets face it. Changing a diaper was a requirement of the position you were in. And as professional as the other staff members may have been, it was probably a relief that you were willing to take care of it much of the time. It's the same way I enjoy going outside for fresh air, so that when it comes time to gather shopping carts from the parking lot, I'm usually the first to volunteer. This is especially appreciated in the dead of winter when no one wants to go out in the cold.

    So while you changed a lot of diapers, a lot of staff members could focus on the other children because of the time you saved them.

  7. #7

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    Thanks - as to cringiness I think the situation makes all the difference - the example I gave was not public but in the context of a school end of year ceremony where all of the attendees had special needs of one kind or another -some very profound. I do understand where you are coming from and had it not been for the acclamation and support he got from his friends and classmates - who had shared his journey as he had shared theirs I would have cringed. As it was it seemed to me like a very honest acceptance of one persons battle to overcome just one aspect of disability. What felt alien to visitors was part of everyday life to the people who really mattered. In other circumstances have actually copmplained about a pupil with special needs (educated in a ordinary school) being "commended" in front of all the school for "trying" even although "he will never be able to achieve what the rest of you will achieve" - that made me very cross indeed.

  8. #8

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    Ok heck I'll post some of the ones things I remember. My alltime favorite was a kid with spina bifida our only kid in the cabin that needed this help that week thank God usually you had 3 or 4. It was my job to get him up in the morning and clean him off as best I could before we got him in the shower. I've never had a good head for details about what brand he was using it wasn't a pull-up per say but it was something that could be pull up and over he was also using a catheter not really practical for 7 year old but I guess his parents wanted to get him used to the process so he could take over in a few years. So right when I'm doing the usual tapdance "Good morning XXX how are you holding up" and thinking to myself shit these hold like the Hover Dam good choice mom of kid. I'm also thinking he hates being cathed how many cookies will have I to hold in reserve for him to get this to go smoothly. Screw it get it done and over with and the kid says in a loud singsong voice "I don't know where babies come from yet" someone else had to take over I was laughing so hard.

    The other one that was more sweet then funny. Myself and another staff member were with "Kyle" trying to decide what his talent was going to be for the talent show a process that was supposed to take two hours that always took four because everyone who was able had to play their own personal rendition "three blind mice" on their own personal recorder. If I never hear a child trying to play a recorder again I will die happy. So anyway it came down to Kyle what is your talent going to be?

    Kyle: I want to take off my pants
    I'm deaf in my left ear so I thought I had misheard: Ok please explain that again for me buddy? trying not laugh.
    Kyle: Well I've been working towards it all year in OT and I want to let the others know how well I'm doing
    Me: Yeah you've almost got that down. You're doing well but if you take off your pants everyone is going to see your....
    Kyle: Well that wouldn't be so bad we'll have to take off the cookie monster stickers first
    (So to recap diapers were Ok but Cookie Monster you can't let that cat out of the bag)

    We compromised it turned out Kyle could also take off his shirt.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by NateSean View Post
    Not to undermine the mood of this thread, but that reminds me of a very old episode of South Park where the town had a big celebration for the nurse with conjoined twin myslexia. On the surface it looked like a bunch of well meaning people trying to reach out to someone they determined to be "disabled", but on the inside it was humiliating this woman even more by calling attention to something that she didn't feel was worth mentioning.

    I get the intent behind a "reward ceremony" but I have to admit with your assessment of being cringe worthy. I won't get much further into that.

    As to the OP, I thank you for starting this thread and bringing this up. As the thread title says, this needed to be said. Some people genuinely do have bladder difficulties and while they wear their burden like a suit of armor as opposed to carrying it lie heavy chains, they would probably just as quickly give it up if they had the chance.



    I don't think it's so odd. You've obviously got some common sense if you're working in this place. Though I've personally known perverts who were hired as teachers in schools and daycares, I get the feeling that you approach the job professionally and compassionately.

    And lets face it. Changing a diaper was a requirement of the position you were in. And as professional as the other staff members may have been, it was probably a relief that you were willing to take care of it much of the time. It's the same way I enjoy going outside for fresh air, so that when it comes time to gather shopping carts from the parking lot, I'm usually the first to volunteer. This is especially appreciated in the dead of winter when no one wants to go out in the cold.

    So while you changed a lot of diapers, a lot of staff members could focus on the other children because of the time you saved them.
    I think most people in the community are aware of those of us who deal with disabilities including incontinence issues. What i can say is its even harder for those who have more silent disabilities. Me for instance. I have neurological problems but most people you ask have no idea. I have learning disabilities but most people you ask have no idea. I have SPD, a sensory disorder but again most dont know. I dealt with developmental problems growing up but like a lot of my other problems they slowly got better. The one thing that seems to rear its ugly head multiple times a day and gets noticed depending on the situation is my severe urinary and fecal incontinence. as many of the members here know, due to many circumstances, this was something i was born with, just like everything else but the big difference is, when some one notices, they dont notice the other stuff and that can be hard. Most people dont ask, some do but the main point is i can see what they feel and what they think. some seem to have some sympathy and others show disgust because they cant understand, because i dont appear as if i should be having the issues that i do....

    Having disabilities is hard, having silent/invisible disabilities is harder in some ways. I say this while acknowledging that having more pronounced disabilities has its own set of difficulties. for instance, its harder to get a job but For me while i can sell my self in the interview, and i have lots of skills so generally i can find work quickly, my trouble comes when i dont mention i have disabilities and try and hide it. I have been fired a couple times for not performing so to speak, because i just wasnt getting it.

    ---------- Post added at 13:01 ---------- Previous post was at 12:58 ----------



    Quote Originally Posted by Ajax View Post
    Ok heck I'll post some of the ones things I remember. My alltime favorite was a kid with spina bifida our only kid in the cabin that needed this help that week thank God usually you had 3 or 4. It was my job to get him up in the morning and clean him off as best I could before we got him in the shower. I've never had a good head for details about what brand he was using it wasn't a pull-up per say but it was something that could be pull up and over he was also using a catheter not really practical for 7 year old but I guess his parents wanted to get him used to the process so he could take over in a few years. So right when I'm doing the usual tapdance "Good morning XXX how are you holding up" and thinking to myself shit these hold like the Hover Dam good choice mom of kid. I'm also thinking he hates being cathed how many cookies will have I to hold in reserve for him to get this to go smoothly. Screw it get it done and over with and the kid says in a loud singsong voice "I don't know where babies come from yet" someone else had to take over I was laughing so hard.

    The other one that was more sweet then funny. Myself and another staff member were with "Kyle" trying to decide what his talent was going to be for the talent show a process that was supposed to take two hours that always took four because everyone who was able had to play their own personal rendition "three blind mice" on their own personal recorder. If I never hear a child trying to play a recorder again I will die happy. So anyway it came down to Kyle what is your talent going to be?

    Kyle: I want to take off my pants
    I'm deaf in my left ear so I thought I had misheard: Ok please explain that again for me buddy? trying not laugh.
    Kyle: Well I've been working towards it all year in OT and I want to let the others know how well I'm doing
    Me: Yeah you've almost got that down. You're doing well but if you take off your pants everyone is going to see your....
    Kyle: Well that wouldn't be so bad we'll have to take off the cookie monster stickers first
    (So to recap diapers were Ok but Cookie Monster you can't let that cat out of the bag)

    We compromised it turned out Kyle could also take off his shirt.
    okay...ill be laughing all day at this exchange...very cute...sounds like something id do in a parellel universe if my adult self met my little self...

    ---------- Post added at 13:13 ---------- Previous post was at 13:01 ----------

    oh and i just realized in the first post that i quoted i totally forgot to respond to what i had bolded out and instead went off on a tandum about something else. My brain wanders like that.



    "Some people genuinely do have bladder difficulties and while they wear their burden like a suit of armor as opposed to carrying it lie heavy chains, they would probably just as quickly give it up if they had the chance."


    There were many days growing up were i wished i was totally normal. There were also brief fleeting moments when i enjoyed feeling little. Now as an adult looking back, Id die before id be "normal" because it made me...i am who i am because im me. I am who i am because of my struggles. So many people assume that disabled people like some one who is deaf or blind or some one who is of short statured, would do anything to be normal again, being disabled my self and being heavily involved in the community, i can tell you that this is far from the case. When you are disabled, it becomes part of who you are, your identity. While some times you wish that you didnt have to struggle as much, all in all you are happy with being you. I'm not saying that all disabled people are okay being them but all in all most are.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by waslost1234abc View Post

    There were many days growing up were i wished i was totally normal. There were also brief fleeting moments when i enjoyed feeling little. Now as an adult looking back, Id die before id be "normal" because it made me...i am who i am because im me. I am who i am because of my struggles. So many people assume that disabled people like some one who is deaf or blind or some one who is of short statured, would do anything to be normal again, being disabled my self and being heavily involved in the community, i can tell you that this is far from the case. When you are disabled, it becomes part of who you are, your identity. While some times you wish that you didnt have to struggle as much, all in all you are happy with being you. I'm not saying that all disabled people are okay being them but all in all most are.
    I must agree with you waslost1234abc, being disabled can eventually become part of you and I can't say its not my case.

    Having CP since my birth, I grew accustomed to my condition and it's now something I would never get rid of. It gave me a completely different outlook on life which I am proud to have today.




    However, something the bothers me greatly is when someone (usually at school since I'm still in high-school) say something around the lines of

    "You're so lucky, you can use the elevator ." (elevators being restricted areas)

    or

    "You're so lucky the teacher lets you in" ( teachers are more lenient toward me being late because being in a wheelchair impairs my movements between classes.)

    I have the impression that some people can't understand that having a disability is not a question of choice or advantages/disadvantages but a part of who we are and that we try our best to surpass ourselves everyday.



    Any thoughts?

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