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Thread: Will This Ever Work Out?

  1. #1

    Default Will This Ever Work Out?

    Hello once again fellow Adiscites. I haven't really been on much for the simple fact that I had no reason to be; I did not need any support with this side of me. Well, I'm back, with bigger problems than ever!

    I am currently going out with someone I met on this site, Smeath. He lives in Tennessee, and is 16. He is IC as well, and is also AB/DL.

    He is basically my baby, and I caretake for him in RP often. However, he cannot do so to me. The thing is, I want his to be as happy as possible, to be my baby and always have that special bond with me as his dada. I want to keep him safe forever and always.

    But he can't do that for me, nor would I want him to. I want him to live his dream of being a happy little baby again, completely and fully, and I want to always be his dada.

    However, I need that too. That's why I want to be his dada, because I know how it feels. Allow me to quote from ABDLdaddy:

    I feel warm, and vulnerable, and little . I feel like I might float away, I feel like crying because I feel so open and little, and I feel like being cuddled and I dont know what to do with all of these feelings but they feel nice, and I need my daddy, and Im just trying to soothe all of these feeling rolling around inside as I let my daddy be my world, and the one I rely on to accept me and love me for who I am.

    I know why I am infantilist, because I never had a dad I could trust with my feelings, hell, he would cuss and nearly hit me with random objects every night I wet the bed. He's dead now too. I never had a mom I could really bond with without her using what I told her to manipulate me into being the father to my little brothers. My grandma? I ditsy drunk. My uncle, an selfish lying violent ass. The rest of my grandparents? Dead. My peers? What peers? My friends? All over the internet.

    My boyfriend loves me, he is the only one who cares about me, but a relationship like this can only be good one way. Only one dada to fill the world of one baby. I do not want to leave him, oh god he has had so much bad in his life, he deserves a dada. He loves me and I love him. But... he can't do what I need, and he feels so bad for it.

    Even if I got someone else as a dada, and was still his, it would not work. I want the role of child to fill my relationship, and I would expect dada to always be there for me. I want Smeath to be the child like that, with that special bond. I feel it is my responsibility now to be his dada, because I have many times promised to always be there and never leave him. I cannot be dada and baby at the same time. He cannot be dada. I want him to always be baby. I want to always be baby. I need to be baby at least sometimes. We both deserve to be baby.

    The only way at all possible for these wants and needs is to either compromise or split up. The compromise would simply not work to develop that type of bond, it is one way, and that bond is all we have currently in the relationship.

    Splitting up. He would be crushed. Devastated. He is so unstable, and after all I have said and promised! He wouldn't survive it. Not to mention how much I want to see him happy... and when he is sad... I'd rather be dead.

    This is a horrible predicament I have gotten myself into. I have no idea what to do. Please help me.

  2. #2

    Default

    I have a suggestion, but I don't know if it would work, so I'll ask something first.

    Does Smeath want to be your Daddy? Does he want to try it? Is he prepared to try it, with a good attitude (i.e. even if he'd rather always be little, would he smile and enjoy himself as Daddy), or does he say 'Well, I would do it if I had to...', or 'if that's what it takes...'? In short...would he be willing to play the role if you could work out a way to make sure his (I'm guessing 'deeper' than yours) little needs are met while still letting him be Daddy?

  3. #3

    Default

    Wow, what a tough spot! In the long run, if someone's needs aren't met, I think that the relationship won't work? I am very sad to say that!

  4. #4

    Default

    Conversely, is there anyway you can accept him for him, that he needs to be babied and can't be a daddy? Not knowing all the history here, is Smeath someone you see in RL, or just online? The problem becomes much more real and genuine if this is a real time, real space relationship rather than online. Is babying sexual for you? Is your relationship sexual? If so, it becomes one of those, you both like being a bottom. If the relationship is to continue, someone has to be a top. Typically, same sex couples take turns, or can take turns occasionally.

    You probably need to have a heart to heart talk with your friend and plead your case, that you have needs as well. I wish you the best in all of this.

  5. #5

    Default

    I have had a few talks with him.


    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    Conversely, is there anyway you can accept him for him, that he needs to be babied and can't be a daddy? Not knowing all the history here, is Smeath someone you see in RL, or just online? The problem becomes much more real and genuine if this is a real time, real space relationship rather than online. Is babying sexual for you? Is your relationship sexual? If so, it becomes one of those, you both like being a bottom. If the relationship is to continue, someone has to be a top. Typically, same sex couples take turns, or can take turns occasionally.

    You probably need to have a heart to heart talk with your friend and plead your case, that you have needs as well. I wish you the best in all of this.
    I only know him online ATM, but we plan to meet when we go to college. Yes, it is somewhat sexual at times, and sometimes not. It's definitely a case of both wanting to be sub, but more than that, the baby, and having a daddy. He isn't strong enough to caretake, but he wants to do it for me, because he knows I need and love it, and wants to do that for me. Through some painful talks in the last two days, we have come to an agreement. For now, we will slowly work towards getting him comfortable and able to let go of dada (me) for 3-4 days at a time and take care of baby/puppy Wywy. Then we will switch for 3-4 days where I am dada. We will both have a bond with the other person as dada, and sometimes have the bond to protect and make the other feel safe and happy. These bonds will strengthen and be underscored by how much we care about the other person, but balanced with the ability to accept care ourselves. It will take work on both parts to be able to do this, but we are only 16. We have time before we are going to live together.

    What do you think?

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by TeddyHugs View Post
    I have had a few talks with him.


    I only know him online ATM, but we plan to meet when we go to college. Yes, it is somewhat sexual at times, and sometimes not. It's definitely a case of both wanting to be sub, but more than that, the baby, and having a daddy. He isn't strong enough to caretake, but he wants to do it for me, because he knows I need and love it, and wants to do that for me. Through some painful talks in the last two days, we have come to an agreement. For now, we will slowly work towards getting him comfortable and able to let go of dada (me) for 3-4 days at a time and take care of baby/puppy Wywy. Then we will switch for 3-4 days where I am dada. We will both have a bond with the other person as dada, and sometimes have the bond to protect and make the other feel safe and happy. These bonds will strengthen and be underscored by how much we care about the other person, but balanced with the ability to accept care ourselves. It will take work on both parts to be able to do this, but we are only 16. We have time before we are going to live together.

    What do you think?
    I think you've done well in working this out. Life and relationships is all about compromise. My wife knew about my sexual history before we got married. I wasn't the world's greatest Casanova, but I got there. The element of love can overcome most obstacles. I envy you finding someone like that at your young age. When I was in high school, I was very close to my best friend, and he to me. We actually talked about sex, but never took it to that level. I think we both missed out. The irony to all of this is he wanted to live a normal life, get married, have children, and he told me that if we "did it", he was afraid he'd enjoy it too much.

    I went off to college and found someone, a guy. He got married and started his family after college. I did the same, but I stayed married. He on the other hand got divorced. I often wondered if he had problems because he liked guys. Of course, we were young and beautiful when we were in high school, so the temptation was great.

    As a side note, when I wrote "Werewolf", I wrote a scene where the young police officer is sleeping in the motel with his partner after they discovered the dismembered 14 year old. He has a dream where he's at the crime scene, but it's his best friend from high school who's there, and he's alive. But he's walking away from him, into the woods. The officer can't keep up and loses him. He feels this sense of great loss. In reality, that's my dream, and it's my best friend from high school. We meet these special people, and they become an integral part of our life. Perhaps the bond is spiritual.

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