i am new to adult baby
start to see people in diaper lover
how did it start
i am new to adult baby
start to see people in diaper lover
how did it start
*BDL has been a part of me for as long as I can remember. For many of us, there doesn't seem to be a clear beginning to it.
Some people become interested after meeting others who are.
Looking back now, I can see that *B/DL has been subconsciously prevalent my whole life. But I had not been consciously aware until some time in January after my 14th birthday.
I don't know what caused it to become a conscious desire, perhaps something to do with hormones.
Being a DL since I was 13 and finally getting curios enough to order a nuk 5 after reading enough threads about how awesome they were.
well, for me, I can remember as far back as before I began kindergarten. Yes,,some of us are able to remember back that far. Anyhow, I remember sneaking diapers out of my little brother's diaper bag, he was only 1.5 years younger than me, and still in diapers, so his diapers fit me too. Those are my earliest memories of being involved with diapers. I was probably about 4 at that time. I have no idea as to what motivated me into liking diapers, but I can say this,,,it has been there as far back as I can possibly remember. So I can can with 100% truth, I have been a DL ALL my life. That means I've been interested in diapers for about 30 years.
If I were to guess at what exactly caused it,, I'd have to guess a jealousy of the attention my lil brother got when he arrived on the scene. Which probably morphed into a liking of diapers. But then again I didn't never got along with my dad, so that would be my other guess. Put the two together and the exact reason becomes a lil fuzzy for me. However, the time frame of it all does go back a LONG way for me.
Im pretty certain on the reason for me turning out the way that i did. Just for information purposes, I consider my self to more be a little. so....
i guess you could say that from the beginning i was destined to be a little. I went into foster care at the age of 6 due to my moms issues taking care of me, including her drug use which started before i was born, continued through the pregnancy and up until about 10 years ago. I was in foster care until the age of 17. this being said there are more facts to point to. I was born sunny side up and backwards. My skull was fractured in several areas and the umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck causing lack of oxygen for at least 4 mins. i spent many months in the hospital after birth and then i went home. I was also born with neurological issues and a sensory disorder(SPD) Lastly probably due to my mom's drug use but also due to genetics i was born with a misformed bladder(including the tubes going to and from my bladder and kidneys and both sphincter muscles) bowel, uretha, kidneys and digestive system. Many surgeries where undertaken in an effort to correct everything was misformed but the best i got was that i was able to survive but it was evident at the times of these surgeries that i would likely have no bladder or bowel control. The neurological issues as well as the SPD also played some part as well. at the age of 5 i was still in diapers full time and while one short attempt was made to potty train me, my mom and other adults realized that i just didnt have the physical capacity to attain bladder or bowel control. I also had developmental and emotional issues and was constantly behind my peers. I also took to sucking my thumb carrying a blanket and a stuffed animal. then all of a sudden i was in foster care and my whole world was turned up side down. Initially i hated the fact i couldnt use the potty like other kids. it was devastating to me to be teased all the time for things i couldnt control but i also know that it didnt help that emotionally i was attached to things most kids my age had given up...looking back i realize that those things replaced my mom growing up and despite being teased about it all, i had conflicting feelings about whether i liked feeling like a baby. I do know that feeling younger as i did, it made me feel closer to my mom.
most of the homes i was in, i was abused and neglected. i was also teased all the time for smelling like a baby all the time and for having to wear diapers and how i acted a lot younger than my age. most of the homes let this happen and quite a few encouraged it. I remember at least one or two homes where i slept in the room and resided in the room meant for babies/toddlers in the home and was generally treated no different from them. School was also a miserable time for me because once one kid finds out they all do, and many times foster brothers and sisters would quickly blab about me. So i guess you can say i wasnt in so many ways treated normally growing up. again there were times where i wished i was normal but feeling little quickly became a way to emotionally survive being with out my mom and in a strange place like the foster care system...that in my mind eventually developed into a totally seperate identity especially as i got older and more aware of how different i was. i eventually stopped being publicly little because i started caring about the social repercussions more but the desires remained.
today: Im an adult. Im a dad....im with a wonderful woman who is in a wheel chair due to a lower spinal cord injury and she has to wear like me. she also loves and thinks its cute that i want to be little again. to most people my little personality manifests itself very subtly because it knows its not socially accepted to not want to be an adult when you have reached the age of maturity but it really comes out in my mind and when im in my bedroom alone which while not a nursery by any standards, its definitely got many clues as to what i hide....my gf hasnt made any attempts to baby me or bring out my little side. and i havent really asked because i know there will be a time and place for that to start. I just get a kick out of hearing her say " you know what baby, i think its funny and cute how all of us are in diapers" referring to me her and my daughter...and the fact she calls me baby but says it in a way that sounds motherly...
all in all while i can hide who i am, its a severe struggle but i do it because i have a responsibility to my daughter to be present as an adult for her. its even harder because i have always worn diapers and always will...
hope this helps
---------- Post added at 15:06 ---------- Previous post was at 15:01 ----------
when i found a pacifier that someone just forgot on a table outside, then met an abdl online (totaly randomly, i wasnt looking for an abdl, since i didnt know it existed) and yea
Waslost, your story brought tears to my eyes. I read it to my wife. We have spent our lives, as educators in an inner city school, trying to help kids with disabilities and imperfect lives. I'm so glad life is improving for you.
I knew I liked and wanted diapers by the time I was four. I was adopted at the age of two. I suspect I spent some time in an adoptive orphanage for a while, because when my parents adopted me, I had a new teddy bear, one I suspect they got me, and an old, ratty teddy bear. My guess is that one came with me from the adoptive agency.
When I was four, I was behaving like a baby, and my mom threatened to put me back into diapers, saying she still had them and the plastic pants. It suddenly hit me that I wanted to be in diapers, but we were having company, and I didn't want them to see me in diapers so I said no.
When I was six, I stole a neighbor boy's wet underwear which was laying in his house, because I wanted to be back into wet pants. By the time puberty hit, I was deliberately wetting my underwear, and getting rid of them. It wasn't until I was in college that my stash got discovered by my mom and I had to see a psychiatrist at a mental facility. I still love and wear diapers.
I tried it out after my boyfriend told me about how he was a AB/DL. I mainly did it for him, trying to make him feel comfortable about telling me and all that. Eventually I ended up trying diapers and I was venturing out by buying us pacis, using baby powder and lotion...the works! I got hooked. I loved the special attention I got from him when I get into diapers (and act like a little girl) and when I play with him as his playmate. I'm still new to it too, but each day I'm learning from everyone in this community and with my boyfriend
It's always a learning progress!