Of hiding all of this. You know, I just noticed that for the past couple weeks I've been subconsciously making my diaper use fairly obvious to everyone around me. For example, wearing around friends, family, in school, letting the top plastic part of the diaper be clearly visible, etc. And after all this, I had a close call with my mom. The details of it aren't beneficial to this thread. Point being - I'm so sick of hiding it! I can't take keeping something that's such a big part of my life hidden like some big, dark, evil secret. It feels almost as aggravating as when I was still closeted sexuality-wise. But divulging your sexual orientation and your *BDLism are two way different things, obviously. But I have SO much to lose by being open about all of this stuff. But I want to be open about it... So bad. Hiding it really is killing me. I think about it constantly. Every day. Thinking what it would be like to have this weight off of me. Wishing that this quirk of mine wasn't so taboo in modern society. Fuck, man... Sorry about the random ranting. Lots on my mind.