Kind of a nervous introduction here, I am a 23 female from london uk. Just looking to chat in a similar situation to me.. well here goes...
In the last 2-3 months I have become more active again on the ABDL community after trying to ignore my feelings for about 2 years. Silly I know :/
I started getting the urge to try wearing a diaper at about 15-16. I took from younger family members sometimes but never fully explored until I was about 18. It was to hard to try and do this whilst under my parents roof, as I ONCE kind of got caught by my mum but actually came up with a really good excuse *phew* but still pretty embarrassing...
I moved out when I was 19 and every other few months I would buy a pack of dry nights as I never wanted to take the risk of getting caught by my boyfriend I lived with at the time. At this point I only felt the urge every other couple of months to wear and then the urge would go away. At 21 I moved back home for a bit and the time to myself made my urge grow stronger. I finally got actively involved in the ABDL community and met up with a couple people on DiaperSpace.com, meeting up with people really freaked me out, not because they weren't nice but because I was actively indulging in things to do with my my fantasies and after a few months I moved to America to stay with friends for just over a year and put the whole thing to bed and tried to forget about it. I think I knew in the back of my mind I would never be able to outrun my feelings or fantasies.
When I moved back after 1 year and 4 months I met a guy, moved in with him, and about 4 months ago I saw a huge pack of proper incontinence nappies (Tena Maxi Slip) in a local chemist near our house and started having thoughts and feelings again, I eventually plucked up the courage and bought them. I have been hiding these from my partner for the last 3 months and luckily he works a lot a he is not a very observant guy so it's pretty easy to hide things in and around the room (I keep everything in a padlocked bag though) somewhere very private.
I think if I had gone into the relationship with these thoughts and feelings I would have probably sought somebody who I had the intention of telling but I went into this relationship thinking these urges would not come back or not really knowing how far the relationship would go. I really love him and would one day hope to marry him but I honestly feel in my heart he is not the kind of person who would understand or be excepting of my ABDL side. I'm lucky in the fact that I get to use for at least 5-6 hours of the day at least 3-4 times a week (at work and on days off when he's not there). I don't feel guilty about hiding it but I would feel guilty about meeting up with any such "daddy type" figures like I have done in the past when single because I am a very faithful person and would consider this almost like cheating.
In a months time I have booked myself in for one of those paid nurseries where you can be looked after by a female nanny, sleep in a crib and indulge in some amazing fantasies (as I'm not attracted to women I don't consider this cheating as it's not the same). I have never really acted as an AB but more a DL. I feel I have a kind of AB persona. I have a bottle and a pacifier and sometimes like to use these in private when I'm wearing a diaper. I am very nervous about going to this nursery but also very excited and think I am going to take the plunge.
Wow this has been a really big rant but I feel really good for telling you guys a lot about myself and I hope to chat to other people maybe in my situation with some advice and stuff and hope not too much bad judgement
Thanks for reading (if you've got this far)