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Thread: Confused about my sexuality! D:

  1. #1

    Default Confused about my sexuality! D:

    Limited typing space.. I have known for quite a while that I'm Gay.. I know I am never attracted to females. But, also, I'm not attracted to men, either. But this year, a kid from Chicago moved down and started his 9th year of school. Ever since I've saw him for the first time, I've been all moody. One moment, I'm happy and staring at him across the room or in the window reflection, the next I'm depressed and staring at my shoes. It feels weird, that he is the first peson I am attracted to that is always on my mind. I even have dreams about him! (None of them sexual) I never have any dirty thoughts about anyone, like 'Oh, hes kinda hot' or whatever. But something about him just.. Drives my brain insane. Has anyone else, straight or homosexual, had the same problem? I think I'm the weirdest Gay guy, for not being attracted to more guys, or looking around in the locker room or whatever the stereotype may be XD I just dunno how to handle the emotion at this point. Am I even gay? Asexual? Please help me out!

  2. #2


    Sometimes it takes a while to figure out stuff like this.

    If you don't want sex or aren't interested in it, then there's a chance you could be homoromantic asexual. Interested in having a relationship with another guy, but not interested in sex.

    Asexuality - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    It's up to you whether you identify as gay or asexual, but remember that honesty is important. For example: If, someday, you end up with someone very sexual, and you can't stand the idea of having sex, then you just might regret identifying as gay.

  3. #3


    I think everyone has a time where they question their sexuality or something on those lines. I consider myself to be straight, however very very rarely, I may see a guy that I do think is attractive. I just don't worry too much or anything. I'm not sure about people being asexual but I think you should just go with whatever makes you happy. Sorry if my advice isn't the best :P

  4. #4


    I went through part of high school and college like this. Boys who are going through puberty can look androgynous, and quite beautiful, possessing characteristics of both sexes. It's like dating or having sex with a girl who doesn't have breasts and does have a penis. The problem with this is that every boy grows up and becomes a man, looking like a man, hairy, hard features, etc. For me, once I grew up, it was either men or women, so women seemed a better choice, but everyone is different. Time will lead your sexuality as to where it wants to go.

    Being attracted to young males/boys who don't return the interest is maybe one of the worse pains in the world. The attraction is so all consuming and compulsive. It was one thing when I was in high school and in love with my best friend. We were boys and the same age. All was acceptable. But then I was in college, and then I graduated and was a 22 year old adult. The age gap was too great. At this point it's time to move on, which I did. I got married and started my family. As I have said on this site before, my wife saved my life. I love her and my children unconditionally as they are the best part of my life.

    Give yourself some time to see where your attractions eventually mature. You have a lot of time and your brain is still developing. I guarantee you will change and land on a dominate sexuality. For now, don't stress over it, and if you develop a friendship with this boy, enjoy it for what it is. My high school friend and I touched a little bit, but that was about it. Still, we had the best times together, sharing all these experiences. There's something to be said for that.

  5. #5


    My friend is asexual after a bad breakup.

    maybe you're asexual? and lol @ the stereotype part of your thing. I'm gay, but am in very few ways stereotypical. not because i try, but because it's me. :P

  6. #6


    I've known I was straight for a long time, but up until about the middle of last year I hadn't even noticed girls so I think it's just got somethin to do with growing up, you're just starting to notice, it's nothing to worry about

    - Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

  7. #7


    Homoromantic asexual might be a good fit, but it's honestly not really all that clear based upon your description. AVEN is an excellent resource for understanding asexuality, and you might consider reading their materials and forum to see if asexuality of some sort is a good description of your overall interests.

  8. #8


    Huh. thanks everyone. I have had a male/male relationship online in the past. (lol that sure killed me when he broke it off) I forgot to mention that I'm a Junior. Not to be too vulgar, but the idea of sexuality with another male is within my interests, but I feel trapped, because alot of homosexuals I know are.. well. Perverted, in a sense. Everyone in todays world seems to operate off of boobs, hair, butt, and the 'dark areas'. I seem to be much more interested in someones personality, and appearance is just additional 'points'., but like I said. I'm so attracted to this kid that I feel guilty for breaking my own belief, (Personality over appearance) but we are both super shy.. so that leaves me in the trap because I can't mentally prepare myself to talk; especially to him. Lol. I have to say, hormones truly suck at times. (no pun intended e.o)

  9. #9


    Just quickly tossing in my thoughts here too =) I'm in agreement here, you may be asexual. I too definitely mainly identify as asexual. I had plenty of crushes over my youth, but never had any interest in engaging in anything sexual. Never even really developed much of an interest to do anything with anyone. It's not that uncommon that people find that they are emotionally attracted and lack the physical impetus. A large number of my friends have sex-free relationships but are definitely in love and deeply committed.

    Good luck sorting it out!

  10. #10


    Well I'm bisexual (though I dislike terms I don't really fit into any specific category because of my likes), but up until about a year ago, I had never actually found another person "truly attractive," by which I mean attractive to the point where I lusted for them - though I did know when someone was attractive. And hence for years I was confused about my sexuality. By this point I was already with my then girlfriend for about 4-5 months and had a strong emotional relationship. After that everything changed. I suddenly became very lustful over a lot of people I found attractive (in the way people say like, wow she's really hot etc - not in an "I would cheat" kind of way) and this was doubly true for my feelings towards my GF.

    I think it might just be a matter of time before the feelings kick in, some people are just, for want of a better phrase, late bloomers. I'm sure you'll figure it out, and remember, don't get too hung up on labels as sometimes they just aren't adequate.

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