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Thread: What to do?

  1. #1

    Default What to do?

    My wife informed me last night that one of our daughters called and asked if she and her children can come for an extended stay (about a month) at our home because her husband is being sent overseas by his company for a project. My wife told her to get here as soon as possible.

    Her husband makes great money so she is able to stay home with our grandchildren and is therefore free to come visit. I am excited about them coming because we don't get to see them often with them living so far away.

    But then the thought of my diapers sort of spoils it for me. If I could quit wearing them for the month it would be great, but I now HAVE to wear them at nighttime because of my bedwetting. My wife refuses to let me sleep in our bed without diapers because of the accidents I have had without them.

    It being impossible to hide the care of cloth diapers around the house, I know our daughter will find out about them.

    Switching to disposables isn't really an answer. I wet so heavy, and on my side most of the time, that invariable I leak when I have used them (I already asked my wife about them and she said NO, she doesn't want to be changing the bed every day). She says I am just going to have to live-up-to-the-fact that I wear diapers and forget about it. My wife pointed out that she doesn't have to know that I enjoy wearing them, just that I NEED to wear them. Which is nothing to really be ashamed about. I guess she is right.

    This daughter has always been more of the "carefree", and fun-living type, so maybe it won't be that big of a deal with her. I can just hear her making some kind of a joke about me "getting up in years", like the "Pampers to Depends" line I heard one time. I hope I can laugh back!!

    She plans on being here by next week, so I just have a few days to come up with something to do. Does anyone have some ideas how to handle this?

  2. #2


    I assume you have a closet in your room of some sorts, or possibly a wardrobe to hide them in. Unless your daughter likes to look through the stuff in your room, or your clothes, I'd say you're fine on that aspect.

    As for the fact that you'd need to wash them, you can do that, too. Just make sure to "smuggle" them out of the drying machine and back into your little hiding place.

  3. #3


    You don't need to come out and say it right away when she gets there but you should assume there is a possibility that she will find out. If she finds out, she might not even say anything about it. I know the prospect is embarrassing but it's reality. I also think that if you are really careful (keeping your usage only to night time), she might not ever find out.

    Couldn't disposables work if you use an underpad on the bed?

  4. #4


    I can understand your concern for having your daughter "find out" about your diaper wearing. It's not something that many of us would want to share with an adult child; and for me, would be downright embarassing!
    You might want to try using a large towel instead of a diaper. The white ones look the same, and are very absorbant. I sometimes use them for that purpose, and then in the morning will rinse them out while in the shower. That way, when they go into the wash, they are relatively clean. You could also use a disposable pad of some type inside them for overnight, to cut down the odour a bit.
    Good luck.

  5. #5


    Hi Grandpa,
    as a 24/7 IC I can understaand your worries, but has your wife says, you have a medical reason for wearing as do I, the fact that you like wearing them should be considered a bonus, but liking them is not something your Daughter needs to know about it, depending on how close you are to your daughter, you can get your wife to take the kids out and tell your daughter that you have a Medical problem and what it is, or if you think that might be too embarrasing, you take the kids out while your wife tells her

    However, if you do want to try to keep it secret then I would suggest disposable nappies with either a disposable or washable bed pad underneath you, probably the disposable's as you'd only need them for a month. this is a UK site, but gives you an idea of what I am talking about:- Incontinence Products UK - Disposable Bed Pads

    My personal feeling is that you should take this opportunity and tell her about the medical need, afater all this is unlikely the first time youare going to have to tell someone that you wear, I realise that the others are likely to be health care proffessionals. But you will feel much happier sticking to your normal night time routine than stressing about leaks, upsetting your wife, who has obviously got here head screwed on right. So bite the bulleet and tell your daughter, if she teases her "poor old father", it will be for the right reasons that she care for you and she loves youe and she'll probably be upset and embarressed ffor you, but you could try to make a joke of it as well,
    Something along the lines of "Don't worry, I know I changed you when you were a baby, but I don't expect you to return the favour"

    tell her I'm sure it will be the right thing to do and anotheer person that will support you.

  6. #6


    This is a difficult one to face but maybe good quality large capacity disposables and a supply of 60cmX90 cm disposable bed pads (Tena are good and don't feel uncomfortable) would solve the problem. I use this "system" and by using maximum capacity diapers can void up to 2000ml without serious leaks - I wear boxerbriefs on top to hold things in place and they absorb any seepage from the leg area. My wife is happy with me using these and usually I have got up, changed and stowed the bedpad away under the pillow before she wakes up, so it is pretty unobtrusive. most days the underpad is not wet in the morning - and yes, I do sleep on my side.

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