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Thread: This is my first step out of this closet. HELP

  1. #1

    Default This is my first step out of this closet. HELP

    Does anyone else have a family/friends who don't understand?
    I just want people who dont look at me like im a circus freak because i like different things.

  2. #2


    Well... Most of us have family and friends who we haven't even told yet... But for those that have told, sure, there have been bad reactions.

    Acceptance of this thing of ours is difficult to come by and it is a lot to expect of other people. Thankfully, this site exists to offer an alternative kind of support with the aim of helping you not feel like a circus freak.

    Welcome here

    I have to ask, though, why do people look at you that way? And which people? Who have you told?

    Dan x

    EDIT: By the way, since this thread has now been moved, maybe you'd like to make a proper introduction the Intro forum, perhaps using this guide to help > < ...?

  3. #3


    That is a great first post and trust me, not the first one of its kind. ^_^

    It is a very difficult step to take. I haven't told my parents, although I think my mom has some idea that I like padding. Thankfully, she lives in another time zone. I have one very close friend that knows and a few therapists, but other than these medical professionals and a handful of wonderful ABDLBFs I've had the pleasure of chatting without side of ADISC, no one knows.

    This is a common scenario with members of our community. The way we have learned to cope with this, for lack of a better term, 'emotional need', is to cling to the remnants of childhood. Many of us seek a time in which things were simpler, when we were taken care of and protected and anything seemed possible. While these concepts in and of themselves aren't likely to raise any eyebrows, the way in which we seek them out does. Honestly, we can't do anything about that. The stigma that comes attached to it is hard enough for ourselves to come to grips with, let alone for a friend or family member who discovers it. I'm not saying they have any right to put us down, but likewise, we can't tell them how to feel about our habits.

    It basically boils down to the old sporting adage of, 'the best offense is a good defense'. If someone does find out about 'that side' of you, just play it cool. They didn't think any differently of you the whole time you were ABDL but they were unaware; so, show them that you are still 'you'.

    This is the angle I have taken with my wife. Over the years she's found out more and more about my little side. While it can be hard to take, breaking it off bit by bit makes it easier for a non-ABDL to deal with. It wasn't until quite recently that I revealed I was a littlefur and explained what that entailed. Again, difficult at first, but now I am able to be 'me' around her. She will never full comprehend why I do what I do; after all, the emotional parts in play here are very complex and hard to impart through mere conversation. However, she is very tolerant and knows that I need this in order to be a better husband and person overall.

    That's what I recommend you should shoot for. People always will, and should, be free to their opinions; you can't do much about that. There will always be those who, sadly, call us 'freaks'. However, those who truly care for you - close friends, family, partners - a majority of the time will find a way to open up their hearts and accept who you are. It will take time and a lot more with some than others. Sometimes, it just won't work at all. However, you are not alone. I would be willing to bet that you have more than a few people in your life who after learning about this part of you will respond with open arms.

    Stay positive and know we always have your back

  4. #4


    I told my parents to get it off my chest, they told me i was a sinner and that i had to repent to christ. Then they went and told their whole church, and now way to many people know it spead out of control. thanks for responding ive never had proper support, and am now feeling a little better.

    ---------- Post added at 21:32 ---------- Previous post was at 21:27 ----------

    thanks so much for the support, I've only been here for half an hour am feeling much more positive about my "little side". I wish I had reached out for support much earlier you have made me feel welcome, thank you again

  5. #5


    I'm sorry you had that kind of response, which of course is the worse kind. When my mom found out she took me to a shrink. She didn't accept it, but she didn't call it a sin. She just saw it as a mental illness. My solution was to move out after college. My wife does accept it however, and buys me plushies, and adult baby clothes. She pours my juice into a sippy cup for dinner, so I am very lucky. I hope you eventually find this kind of acceptance. It's rare, but there are those out there who will love us unconditionally.

  6. #6


    i just have one little thing to say.... were in the bible does it say you cant like something different like wearing or liking diapers

    thats just over board what they did to you much support your not a circus freak at all =}

  7. #7


    thanks again for the added support I just hope i find that someone special who accepts me like you have.

  8. #8


    I got caught when I was younger, told a few coucilors, but those are the only times anyone outside the community have ever found out. Concidering my mental state my advice might not be the greatest but I see no benifit to telling anyone but an intimate partnern.

  9. #9


    As for me, I was never caught, I told my sister a couple days ago and it all went smoothly. She thought it was a bit strange and weird, but she accepted me being a TBDL and told me to be hygienic about it, as well as telling me not to over-indulge. I really do have a great sister who I feel like I can tell anything to.

    Ecsess, I am very sorry to hear that your parents overreacted to you being a ABDL. Although I am not a member of the Christian faith, I believe you should be able to talk to your priest about ABDL in confidence and secrecy. I had a Christian friend who told his preist that he might be gay, and my friend told me that the priest promised to keep a secret. I am sorry to hear that your church hasn't been helpful with confession.

    Also, I fail to see how your parents believe that ABDL is a sin. I don't believe that the Bible says anything about ageplay or diapers, so I think that your parents are just looking for an excuse for you to quit. Your parents really should not have told everyone in church about your fetish, because it may make acceptance even harder to find.

    I hope you find someone in your life who accepts you, and hope your family can learn to accept you too.

  10. #10


    thanks Francis I am sure I will find someone its just the waiting that sux. I do agree with you about my parents they are messed up and don't understand. They think if they don't see it on an everyday basis it's not normal, They believe that this is something i can change, all I can ever say is this is who I am, if they can't accept it then don't bother me with their incorrect views. P.S. I'm not christian, The only faith I have is in me and those who I trust (The list is almost nonexistent) although I am here and hoping to help the list grow.

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