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Thread: Is it normal to want to leave the AB/DL community over...

  1. #1

    Default Is it normal to want to leave the AB/DL community over...

    Oh look, it's this this thread again. But over the past month, I've had to go through a lot of drama with a lot of people on another site because of some rather STUPID reasons, but I don't know if I need to stop allowing those certain individuals to represent all of us in general. So what I'm asking, is it normal to want to leave the community over some certain individuals getting to your head? It was just so hard to ignore, unless I delete people from my friends list who hang out on that certain site.

  2. #2


    Yes, I'd say it's normal! It doesn't take much more than one idiot to ruin your perception of a group. I had stages of wanting to leave some communities when select members seemed to ignore my advice entirely. But I've realised that not everyone is like that so I now just find the right people to talk with.

    If you can't get it out of your head as it stands, I would suggest isolation from troublesome individuals :-)

  3. #3


    Getting tired of drama and taking a break from or leaving a forum is normal. The internet brings out the asshole/drama queen in perfectly nice people so taking a step back every now and again is probably healthy.

  4. #4


    It wasn't drama that was keeping me away but until I joined here, I didn't find anyplace that I felt any ties to at all. Indeed, it was hard enough to get the motivation to join anywhere because what I saw was just creepy or uninteresting. Now that I'm plugged into this small corner of the community, occasionally the dramatic elements become bothersome. I generally just have to step back and look at what works for me and what doesn't. On balance, the benefits have far, far outweighed the negatives.

  5. #5


    Thanks guys, I think I understand now... Fortunately I'm permabanned from that certain site's IRC and forum, so I won't be seeing them anymore!

  6. #6


    Just a general tip that applies to all communities:

    If you don't like drama, making a public announcement about some "STUPID" people whose drama is annoying you is not exactly a smart thing to do.

  7. #7


    There can be drama here, and a few posters in the group are admittedly frustrating. It generally doesn't get to me for a few reasons:

    1. Members here who are frustrating or create drama rarely stick. Oh, they might stay a while. But when they fail to make a lot of friends, they stop posting sooner or later. I can think of many such past members.
    2. Ones who do stick are extremely few in number. I think if all the well established members here (say, 250+ posts) sat down and listed people who drive us batty or detract from this place's decorum, we'd all turn in pretty much the same list.
    3. When such people gang up, they usually face way more opposition from the sane among us than they present.

    That's just life, and I accept it. If I leave here to avoid it, then I'm still encountering it in real life. Sure, the frustration occasionally reaches a boiling point and I take a few days away. But again, real life isn't any different.

    Coming here is like using diapers: the healthiest way is to do so when you want, and to not make yourself when you don't.

    ---------- Post added at 19:57 ---------- Previous post was at 19:55 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by LazyAB View Post
    If you don't like drama, making a public announcement about some "STUPID" people whose drama is annoying you is not exactly a smart thing to do.
    I think there's a significant difference between creating drama and needing to vent.

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by NightFox View Post

    I think there's a significant difference between creating drama and needing to vent.
    I honestly can't think of any situation that would necessitate "venting" in this manner. If you don't like drama, ignore it - threads like this do absolutely nothing but perpetuate the very drama the OP is complaining about.

  9. #9


    Me too, a lot of times I wished to leave AB, but is imossible. Bu I learned to switch on and off. Thereīs not another choice today. But itīll come with years.

  10. #10


    I can relate to what you're feeling. I've actually been around the AB/DL community for quite some time but until I came here, I pretty much stopped participating in the AB/DL community out of sheer disgust over something that happened years ago. I won't get into it, but it was pretty bad. I didn't understand, or cared to understand why certain members of this community felt the need to "solve" disagreements by resorting to underhanded viciousness.

    It really is a normal reaction to feeling frustrated or alienated by any community whether it's one you share something like being a *b/dl with or something else. I think MasterPython has a point there. The internet will bring out some of the less-than-unsavory people who, for whatever reason, feel it's perfectly acceptable to treat people disrespectfully. I'd say the healthy thing to do is indeed step back. Don't hang around in places where you don't feel comfortable. Take it from someone with experience. People who just want to be nasty for the sake of having control, any control, is not worth it. Think of it as you being smarter than they are for not wasting your time with them.

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