Hey guys! I know this is a *bdl support community, but I could use some support on another field. Iím putting this in the mature section because there are drug references. So last Wednesday (a week ago) I smoked a good amount of very strong marijuana. It was also hot boxed (for those unfamiliar with the term, itís when you take a space and close it up so all of the smoke stays in the space, thus making you higher. ) While doing this last Wednesday I experience one of the most terrifying and eye opening experiences. I had a really bad ďhighĒ and thus thought I was going to die. Basically I had a felt like I was awake on a consciousness level that I shouldnít have been on. I felt almost as if I woke up during a dream, but didnít physically wake up. The harder and harder I tried to ďwake upĒ the farther and farther lost I got . At one point I got so scared out of panic attacks I thought I was unable to breath. I wanted to my friends to call 911 to get me to a hospital. It was an experience I wouldnít wish on my worst enemy.
Iíve struggled with an anxiety disorder all of my life. This ďhighĒ made me feel like I use to be before I was on heavy meds and went to multiple therapists. Iím currently not doing either though because I thought I was over it. Needless to say, Iíve been sober for a full week and plan on staying off weed/any drug for that matter / alcohol / smoking in general until Iím at a way more mature age to handle such things or to realize that I was a dumbass kid. Itís really hard though. My friends donít peer pressure me, but at the same time I have a good amount of friends that smoke cigarettes and every now and again I smoke one. I was hooked on an electronic cigarette up until 4 days ago. There are constantly cigars and cigarillos around me. Thiers tons of weed around me. I want to be stronger then that crap, and for the past week Iíve been off drugs and for the past 4 days I havenít smoked anything at all.
Can anyone give me advice on how to deal with any of the things I listed? Whether itís staying away from drugs when there around you or not smoking when the urge is so strong? How did you deal with either of these problems? I canít stand the way I am now. I feel like I lost my innocence and this is my last try to get it back. Thanks guysÖ
*btw i know pot isn't that bad, until now i haven't had such a weird experience, i'm not raining on anyones parade though. I still support the use of if even if it isn't for me..*