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Thread: Seperating the "Sides"

  1. #1

    Smile Seperating the "Sides"

    I've noticed a lot of people use the phrase "my little side" or "my inner child" and I just thought I would bring up a discussion about the sides of a person.

    Excuse me for a moment while I go into how I've approached the topic, and then I'll have what I really am asking and wanting to talk about.

    I definitely have used the phrase before, it's easier to explain to someone who is confused about the concept of being an AB, LG, Toddler, etc. that you have this little kid side along with the an adult side. It allows you to explain that while you dabble in age regression and like to be a baby and kid for fun, you can still be a mature adult and you want respect. I understand this completely and it's definitely useful as a way to try to explain who you are.

    I however feel this is something that personally, we should try to avoid. I at least, am not stopping trying to refer to myself as someone with sides. This may not work for everyone, and please express your thoughts.. but these are mine.

    I hate this concept that we have to completely define ourselves by age stereotypes. We are either a child, or an adult. People seem to be unable to understand that sometimes, someone is just both. Sometimes someone isn't defined by age stereotypes and is simply a person. While I'm definitely mature and responsible, I also like to wear diapers or play with toys or have a mommy or a daddy still. I don't see why the childish parts in the person can't still be an adult, and I don't see what the responsible person can't be a kid. I want to be a person, not an age and my "child side" should be apart of my adult life too.

    I should be so lucky to see the world forever though the eyes of my childish traits, I want to keep believing in magic and continue talking to people as if I'm on a preschool channel about friendship and forgiveness and love. The fact that I still want to be a kid has shaped the kinda person I am, and I want to be proud of that person and not hide it away in an age group as if it's not an epic thing to have in an adult too. I don't want people to forget that I am defining myself as an adult in this way, and being super childish in personality does not make me any less of an adult or a person. I should not separate my personality traits, I should just embrace the entire person that I am. I'm not saying I should try to make every person I meet my mommy and daddy and walk around in diapers on display, I'm saying I should be afraid to let my other personality traits that are considered childish be public, because there is nothing wrong with being different.

    I really do believe that everyone should too, but I would like to hear your thoughts on maybe why you would defend continuing to separate the traits, or why you agree with me, or why I might be saying something that is just plain common sense. Either way, I hope that I made you think just a little bit.

    Thanks for reading. I hope this thing hasn't' been posted a million times.
    Last edited by gigglemuffinz; 06-Aug-2011 at 10:27. Reason: forgot to say "diapers on display" instead of just diapers

  2. #2

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    An interesting discussion, to my knowledge this hasn't been brought up much before.

    I'm going to take an educated guess here that we're going to have people on both sides of the road: those who view their adult and baby desires as distinct and separate, verses those who think more like you do.
    Talking about myself, to say that I have two sides is to completely miss the point, even if it does make it easier to explain to others. As I see it, my feelings are as much a part of me as my love of chocolate or fascination with science. I don't have multiple personalities, I'm not little one minute and big the next, I'm both at the same time. Put simply, I'm an adult who just happens to have infantile interests.

    The way I explain it, is that as I go about my every day 'adult' life, I act in accordance with the grown up template society expects me to hold to. I do this not because I am completely adult at those times, but because to act otherwise would embarrass me and lower my reputation in the eyes of others. If I were to walk past a giant ball pit, I still would love to jump in it exactly like a child, but I restrain myself because society does not see that as appropriate behaviour. While I regret that those expectations exist, I appreciate that for a society to function properly we all have to sometimes forfeit activities that we would like to do. Think of the chaos if we all did as we pleased all the time: running around, blaring out our loud music, dancing - it wouldn't be a very productive environment to get work done in.

    Hence when I am private, I do not engage in babyish behaviour because I am now in a 'little' mood, I do so because I have always felt like that but am now free of the restrictions preventing me from acting in that manner.
    So in part I am in agreement with you, as I've grown through the years my childish ways and desires have stayed with me into adulthood. It would not be possible to fully understand me as a person if you view my little activities as just a 'side' of me, as I view those traits as part of my adult identity as much as they were my identity as a child.
    Where I do disagree however is how much we should let those traits show in public adult life. If they are not disruptive and do not affect your ability to be productive then I do not see any problem with them. But things that may affect others or be detrimental should be restrained until when you are in private. It's not ideal, but I just don't think everything would work if we all did as we pleased without boundaries - even if that is who we truly are.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodlandWanderer View Post
    Where I do disagree however is how much we should let those traits show in public adult life. If they are not disruptive and do not affect your ability to be productive then I do not see any problem with them. But things that may affect others or be detrimental should be restrained until when you are in private. It's not ideal, but I just don't think everything would work if we all did as we pleased without boundaries - even if that is who we truly are.
    I want to clarify that I realize there is appropriate "public" behavior. I thought the sentence "I'm not saying I should try to make every person I meet my mommy and daddy and walk around in diapers on display" said that but apparently I wasn't clear enough. That's okay, I'm still getting used to publicly speaking.

    I don't definitely don't need to be sitting around playing with toys when I should be working, I don't need to talk to a customer in baby talk, and there are just something things that are not necessary. However, if I'm with someone I'm wanting to be my friend, and that someone is asking me what things I like.. I shouldn't be afraid of saying something that might make me sound childish, and then using this disclaimer "Oh, I just have a little side, or an inner child." I shouldn't be afraid to be honest about who I am.

    Sorry if I gave the wrong impression with my first post.

  4. #4

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    Interesting topic,
    I suppose that I am a product of my early upbringing, which meant most babyish or childish things were taken from me, as to a great extent was my childhood. With constant parental bullying to grow up and be a big boy or be a man I learant to seperate my two parts and it took me many years to get to the stage where they are both now an equal part of me. Society does impose its norms on all of us and we all tend to conform to expectations which is why we don't go to work in a shirt, tie and jacket, nappy and rubbers, we might wear them under our street clothes or work clothes but notr with them on public display. I'd love to go to a park and play on the swings and roundabout and see saws, except I'd probably get arressted as it isn't 'normal' for an adult to do that, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to sit with a bunch of young kids and join in their fun but again society would not like it. So despiote having 2 equal sides I find I have to constantly supress one of them. That suppression of our inner child may be part of the explanation as why a lot of ab's/dl's binge, as the drive to be yourself is constantly there, abit ;like a dormant volcano, things simmer beneath the surface and then Boom, something triggers that eruption and we have to let our inner child, my ab side, me, whatever you call it, out, failing to be what we truly feel to be a part of our nature, constantly having to supress a very important part of our personality probably leads to depression and anxiety and may well manifest that strees as some other form of mental illness. As well as being an AB I also have a form of urinary incontinence, but even that in an adult is frowned upon by society. disposable nappies are refferred to as slips. Yes there are now tv advertisments for tena pads and pants, but have you noticed it's all women in the adverts?. Just my thought

  5. #5

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    Some people never grow up. I used to live in a shared house with a bunch of people in their 30s, and they were some of the most childish people I've ever met (we're still friends to this day). They would lark about, play pranks on each other, joke about things constantly, and not let themselves get bogged down by the crap in life. They still had jobs, but didn't care about promotion or anything; only when the next weekend would come around so they could go surfing.

    I guess I learned from them that you are only as old as you think you are. Being an adult just means that you've been around long enough to be labelled as one. How you play life is up to you. You can choose to go to work at a respectable company, start investing in savings so you can buy that new car/house, and generally try to become "part of society". But if that means having to suppress your true self and desires from fear of being labelled an outcast, then I pity you. Go and watch The Matrix or Fight Club. Realise that you only have one life on this planet and what you do really doesn't matter in the long term. Don't rely on the media to tell you how to live your life, don't become a consumer slave, don't give in to social conditioning. Think for yourself.

    Back on topic then - while it is unfortunate that society is as limiting as it is, I still believe we have room to bend the rules a bit. And I don't mean going out in public wearing all your AB gear, but maybe as the OP says; don't be afraid of who you really are. If you like cartoons, then say so. If you like cute stuff, then what's wrong with that? If you become comfortable with your "childish" traits, then other people will be more comfortable with them too. If not, then maybe it's time to evaluate your relationship with that person.

  6. #6

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    This is indeed an extremely interesting topic and it actually took me a while to get my head around it. It is very interesting and obviously different people have different ideas of what "sides" are. Some people won't see it as different sides but as different instantiations of one person. I am probably going to ramble and write an unconstructive bit here tho...

    About being an adult; I don't always know what it means anymore. When I was a child I used to think adults had all the answers and of course you grow up to gain some of those answers, but on the other hand I am often still just a clueless...not knowing how to deal with things, often because there isn't one solution. As an adult you need to take many things into account, deal with different people and deciding is based on weighing options. I guess that is something you can fully lose when regressing.

    And even being childish is not a very clear topic. I can be childish in terms of my AB/DL feelings but also because I can be extremely playful and I realised I don't care what other people think, it makes me happy. Jumping in the rain, swings, lego or just acting a bit silly... no harms done and only through public opinion and culture this is assumed to be "not done". But it can make you so happy!

    I fully agree with the previous opinions saying "just be yourself", that is the most important thing. And for me personally, I try not to seperate who I am between professional and personal life. Of course I don't share too much but I am always the same person. I never repress my character, my sides.

    On the topic of acceptance of different "sides", I'll try not to go into "morals" and social acceptance. It is a tricky thing that is very dependent on culture/age/types of society etc. I think most people inherently have basic morals and abide by them. It is mainly the influence from peers/the media and whatever that leads to people not having their own opinions and ideas but opinions based on what they hear, that is what frustrates me... it makes people judge others in a very wrong way (I don't particularly think judging is bad, it is an evolutionary trait and everyone does it I suppose, but the basis upon which people judge is often wrong. Morals, sure, fine and no problem, but judging on the basis of colour, income, clothes or particular things people fancy (within moral boundaries...) is wrong and frustrating.

    I dug myself a bit of a hole here talking about morals, an obvious question is "What are the morals then?" and honestly I don't know how to explain. I know my parents taught me well and taught me decent morals and from what I have read here so far, so do most people here...

    I guess my final point is; always be yourself. You may not always be able to express every single aspect of it (but it is frowned upon not just AB/DL or fetish related, but many things in life are expected to stay private), but still keep true to your own personality. You don't need to act differently. If you feel comfortable having these sides, fine, but dont stress it, wont work in the long run.

    Right, goodluck to anyone reading this... geez I need to learn to write thoughts down more clearly...

  7. #7

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    Thank you all for the very well thought out replies. You all have wonderful points that even if I have trouble thinking of a direct point to cross, I have not heard a single thing I didn't like. I love the members of this community a huge, huge amount.

  8. #8

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    In my mind, I can say that I have a child side and an adult side, but that would not be completely accurate. When I regress, not much changes about me, and I do not become a different person. Yes, I would rather play xbox when I'm 15 and blocks when I'm 2, but that does not change the person I am. I try to be a kind and loving person no matter what age I feel, and I care about people no matter what age I feel. So I guess I am split on this, because I do believe that I have a few factors that change the way I act, such as what I like to do and what age I see my inner self as. I am one person though, so I'll just take the middle road on this.

  9. #9

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    I would use the terms fantasy and reality rather than sides. Everyone has fantasies of one sort or another. A big brain and an economy that lets most people get well beyond subsistence level without working at it 24/7 makes that almost inevitable.

    Lots of people run marathons even though they know going in that the winner will be showered, dressed, and on a plane back to Kenya before they cross the line. Fantasy.

    People re-enact civil war battles. Fantasy.

    People wear diapers for no apparent reason. Fantasy

    Most people come up with all sorts of justifications for themselves and others why these are good, desirable behaviors. I say, eff that. Fantasy is fine as long as you don't neglect real life responsibilities. It only gets sketchy and dangerous when you start believing your own rationalizations and lose track of the line between fantasy and reality.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    I would use the terms fantasy and reality rather than sides. Everyone has fantasies of one sort or another. A big brain and an economy that lets most people get well beyond subsistence level without working at it 24/7 makes that almost inevitable.

    Lots of people run marathons even though they know going in that the winner will be showered, dressed, and on a plane back to Kenya before they cross the line. Fantasy.

    People re-enact civil war battles. Fantasy.

    People wear diapers for no apparent reason. Fantasy

    Most people come up with all sorts of justifications for themselves and others why these are good, desirable behaviors. I say, eff that. Fantasy is fine as long as you don't neglect real life responsibilities. It only gets sketchy and dangerous when you start believing your own rationalizations and lose track of the line between fantasy and reality.
    I disagree that having childish personality traits is "fantasy" which is in a sense, not real. That is like saying that you liking the color blue, or you being interested in gaming or dancing or music is not a part of who you are.

    I'm not talking about the diapers with the subject, I'm talking about the personality traits and the reasons that people desire to pick up the diapers in the first place. The civil war re-enacting might be engaging in fantasy play when they re-enact, but they could be history enthusiasts and that could be their reason for doing it. The motive for the fantasy play, is a real motive that is probably a big part of who they are and what they engage in as hobbies and how they define themselves. I feel that is what this subject is about.
    Last edited by gigglemuffinz; 06-Aug-2011 at 18:03. Reason: Made it a little less emotional, tried to cut out some repeating statments.

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