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Thread: Be Carefull What You Wish For

  1. #1

    Unhappy Be Carefull What You Wish For

    I'm sure it's not incontinence (well not at this stage) but, I've had occasional loss of bladder control for the past year. It occurs whenever I sit-up, sit-down, and moments after using the bathroom. It's as if I feel my bladder is empty but, a small amount of pee will catch me off guard. Luckily it's never been so bad that it's noticeable I've wet myself but, I'm afraid that if this keeps up, that dreadful day will come.

    I do have to admit, I secretly wanted this. I know it's a destructive desire but, subconsciously I've always wanted to be diaper dependent. I suffer from a binge & purge cycle with my love for diapers(both can last for weeks to months). I feel like I'm in a different state of mind when I binge and I'm afraid I'll grow distant from what makes me happy. The only way I feel to overcome the "purge" is to become defendant and finally; acceptance.

    So I'd spend long periods in diapers when I binge. Every time, no matter how long an absence it's been, wetting without stress comes naturally to me. I'd often wear goodnights in public and discretely use them too. It's such a constant disuse of my bladder that I'm afraid it's contributed to the weakening of my pelvic floor mussels.

    That's just the binge problem, the purge side is just as bad. I drink plenty of water on daily basis. I'm very active so plenty of water helps my metabolism. Also, I used to be a frequent drug user(don't judge me), so I've developed a habit to drink lots of water which kept my system clean, JUST IN CASE(I'm rambling on:I ). Now with all this water consumption, whenever I'm home or at work, there's always a bathroom within a few feet of me. At home we have one bathroom on each floor and one is right next to my bedroom. I can't hold my bladder for long so, it's no bother when I have to walk a few feet if the urge comes so sudden. Nowadays, It's kinda hard to hold it in for long.

    Now I know it's a terrible desire to be diaper dependent. When the first thought of forceful incontinence arose, I turned to this forum way back and was convinced it was bad idea. Although, it's like a guilty pleasure that won't subside. It's my subconscious that drives me to be so careless at times. It's affect me for awhile so, the reason I ask for some advice now is because I'm getting back into that diaper-wearing mood. It's probably another binge cycle which, I'll try to get over .

    Anyways, if tl;dr. Am I really the only who's suppressing this desire of incontinence? I've heard all the reasons to not do so, but nothing of a personal experience. Also, any suggestions to fix this problem. I'm sure simply holding it in, less water and maybe some kegel exercises would help, but how about on the mental containment. Am I really alone on this? I'm not like those other people who fantasize forced incontinence. I'm aware of the danger and I personally don't believe it's worth it.

    I'm really sorry if I offended any of you truly incontinent folks, but it's something I had to get off my chest.

  2. #2


    Thanks for being so honest. It is really helpful to have someone share the dilemmas that many of us experience in varying ways. Forgive me from commenting that while you may well be right you have strayed into the area of "self diagnosis" and opted for the obvious answer to the changes in control you are experiencing. There are lots of other reasons that could account for what is happening to you and the only sensible course of action is to get a doctors opinion. You might not want to tell a medical person about your love affair with diapers and you don't need to because it probably will not be truly relevant and might complicate things. What matters isn't that you have resorted to behaviour that could have made a problem worse, but rather how to deal with it before it gets to the point where you are wet when you don't want to be.

    It may sound a little harsh, but getting a medical problem assessed and sorted out should be your main priority - and at the stage of problem you describe a lot can be done.

    You said it yourself when you commented "I personally don't think it's worth it" - Do take appropriate action to get medical assistance - what you are experiencing is unusual for a younger person - and then feel free to enjoy recreational diaper use as and when you want without having to worry.

  3. #3


    While I do intend to visit my doctor, I still wonder if the symptoms I'm experiencing relate to weakened bladder muscles. I'm going to hold off on diapers for a bit and work on my bladder control. The only time I have loss of control is when I don't expect it. It always arises after I finish going to the bathroom and I feel as if my bladder has been emptied but, it somehow catches me off guard moments to an hour later. I know there is muscle incontinence and stress incon. I'm not sure which my symptoms would fall under.

  4. #4


    Quote Originally Posted by Talic View Post
    I still wonder if the symptoms I'm experiencing relate to weakened bladder muscles.
    Have you read anything on the issue? When my exwife was pregnant, at your age, her OBGYN suggested Kegel exorcises.

    Here is an article to read with other tips.

    10 Ways to Keep Your Bladder Healthy

  5. #5


    I know how you feel. I also have this strange desire to be really incontinent. I know it is "wrong", but there is something about losing control and having to wear diapers that really appeals to me. I read some posts from another user where he descripes a "p-device" (some modded catheter) where you would actually become temporarily incontinent. I wonder if something like this (actually being totally incontinent) for a week would change my feelings...

  6. #6


    Quote Originally Posted by Khaymen View Post
    Have you read anything on the issue? When my exwife was pregnant, at your age, her OBGYN suggested Kegel exorcises.

    Here is an article to read with other tips.

    10 Ways to Keep Your Bladder Healthy
    I pretty much live by these steps already, except for the kegels which I've just started. Thanks for the input.

    Well, I think I came down to a hypothesized self-diagnosis. It's most likely the early symptoms of overflow incontinence. Hell, the wiki page describes my symptoms fairly accurate. I've started doing ALLOT of kegel exercises but, just a few hours ago I had a pretty bad accident. It wasn't so noticeable and I'm luckily I was in privacy at home but, wearing shorts and having urine dribble down your leg to the floor is a little obvious. Although, I'm sure the exercises will help in time. I've been doing them in literally every situation. Just contracting the pelvis is a simple exercise but, my problem is being caught off guard with accidents. Will these exercises actually help?

    I've also read a few other causes of overflow incon from wearing tight clothing(I do quite often) which is blocking the urethra and heavy lifting(it's routine at my part-time job). Whatever the case I expect to see my Dr. this week.
    Last edited by Eiiree; 07-Aug-2011 at 08:34.

  7. #7


    Seeing your doctor is the best step to take. That can rule out any Infection or other issues.

    Whatever you do, DON'T cut back on the water you drink. The more water you drink the more diluted your urine is going to be and that is a good thing because it will be a lighter almost clear color and will have little to no smell. This will help if you do end up having a noticeable accident as it can be covered up or explained away as a spilled drink.

  8. #8


    Some of what you describe sounds like your bladder doesn't fully empty, even though you think it may. There is a process called "Double voiding" that ou can look up on-line for more information, which is designed to help with such problems.

    Others have offered the best advice I could give, though, to see your doctor and get checked out. You are VERY young to begin having such problems, and there are a number of disease processes which can have similar incontinent symptorms as part of their panoply.

    My best to you!


  9. #9


    I can't tell if you are a guy or a girl. It seem to be normal for women to have minor urine leaks. I don't have any problem pre-transition and all. Few months after I had my surgery, I began to leak after I go to pee. My bladder seem can't 100% empty it... it will leak, no matter what. So I had to wear pads 24/7 for this reason. I read a bit more further about this, and found out it seem to be normal. Also, I have my urine tested to make sure nothing was wrong, and there wasn't any at all. Perfect healthy and normal ranges. So I wouldn't worry as long as there's no blood or pain down there... most likely you will be still okay. But yes, I agree with others, check with doctor, just to make sure.

  10. #10


    Hi there, there is also something out there called post micturition dribble (Understanding post-micturition dribble incontinence in men | Practice | Nursing Times), which is exactly what you are describing, there is also a condintion where urine can pool within the urethra which is very similar to pmd and the massage or milking as some nurses call it is exactly the same. the Massage/milking takes a lot of practice to get right and can be fairly painful until you get used to it

    ---------- Post added at 21:23 ---------- Previous post was at 21:17 ----------

    Hi again,
    why would anyone want to be incontinent? It can be a life changing event and you really need to think the entire thing through. How are you going to cope with it for one. Can you afford the protection 24/7 365 days a year? can you afford secondary protection for bed, furniture, car seats etc.
    Do you really like being hugely humilitaed in public when you leak or even worse flood, halfway through your shopping or meal in that restaraunt you've waited a month for seats for. do you enjoy an active love life, yes, great now explain to your wife/husband, partner etc, that you might pee over them or in them while making love. get used to nappy rash and carrying a changing bag around with you, and have I mentioned the anxiety that you can experience, the mood swings, the depression? Yeah being incontinent is wonderful!

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