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Thread: Experiences that have changed the very core of your morals/belief system/ who you are?

  1. #1

    Default Experiences that have changed the very core of your morals/belief system/ who you are?

    So have any of you ever had any life alterting experiences? Maybe life altering situations? Or rather one that change who you are radically? Like change your perspective in life? or views on others?

    I've had several life or perspective altering situations during my time at DC. I'm only here for another 10 days... and looking back it's been a hell of a time. I've had good times and bad times. I feel like I truly found myself... who I want to be who I was hiding. Some things that have changed that really have surprised me are mainly my views on life,sex & love.

    For sex and love I'll keep it simple, I'm currently engaged and very happy to be. But I've learned that it's possible to love two people at once. In a romantic manner, obviously it's something I could never truly understand but now I kind of understand that one dude from the sister wives I guess... there is no true love... if not people that simply fit quite nicely with one another. There isn't really soul mates. Just people that are addacuate partners if that makes sense, my concept of the one... has changed in regards. I don't think you find it.. if not you make someone the one! You devote yourself to that person you want. along with that, Sex has changed a bit two.... I mean now I understand certain people, I still want to wait till marriage and I still look down on casual sex but sex between commited relationships not so much, it's an expression of love... but my view on it hasn't changed that much....

    But my view on life has change significantly, I see that I've kind of wasted some of it, things I could have used money for I spent on video games that I was just hording or wanted to play but don't have the time to play. Instead of taking care of my social life here. Or taking care of my fiancee... I was just sacraficing my relationship with her for video games that I wasn't playing. Obviously it wasn't that bad I sitll took her out but I didn't do it as often as I should have.... things are gonna change in that regard... I'm going to enjoy my youth while I can. I'm only 20 but I have a beutiful fiancee, someone that I can enjoy life with pretty easily.

    Overall this experience has been life altering and truly eye opening... I can see other people's perpectives much better then I have before and I have a much more open mind. I'm finally going to do what I've wanted for a while (mainly dye my hair blue and get a piercing) and yeah just learned how to enjoy life? or appraciate my time with people more.

    Lets just hope I don't forget this.... eh? How about you guys have you forgotten things like this before? What changes have you made? what experiences? etc etc.

  2. #2


    I think I've had a few of those. College was certainly in that realm, as I was away from the conservative farm town where I grew up, and I was able to grow quite a bit as a person. I met new and diverse people and learned a whole lot about how the world worked, and I stopped being conservative. It's harder to articulate, though, as it happened over the course of a few years.

    Right after college during my internship, though, those events were most assuredly life-changing. My life pretty much fell apart. An error by the University meant I lost my financial aid, and I was already struggling just to make my share of the rent in a two-bedroom apartment with three slobs and heavy smokers for roommates. I had no privacy, I knew hardly anyone in the area, as I had moved to a new area, I had no internet, and I had no money. I was struggling with the fact that I was gay and had been raised in a conservative anti-gay church. It just kept spiraling out of control, to the point where, on a weekend at my parents' (three hours away) to watch the house while they were out of town, I completely broke down, found the keys to the gun cabinet, and loaded up my gun, with the intent of going to the basement bathroom to finish it and be done with it all. Stepping over my sleeping dog in the hallway gave me enough of a moment of lucidity to make me unload the gun.

    A couple of years later, I had finally finished sorting my issues and facing down my demons, the culmination of which was finally coming out, at age 25. That too wound up being a life-changer, and it was honestly like seeing the world in colour for the very first time. My friends have since remarked that it was as though I suddenly became an entire person, instead of a pale impersonation. I was finally truly free.

    After all that came what might have even been more potent than the rest of those things: my accident. I'm an avid cyclist, and I often commute to work by bike. In October of 2007, I was doing just that when I was smashed by an SUV that ran the red light at 40 miles per hour. I saw it coming at the very last minute, and I remember standing on the cranks trying to power through the intersection before she got there, but it was just not possible. I woke up under what I later found out was a second SUV that was stopped at the light. Finding out that I flew across two lanes of traffic into the front of a stopped Chevy Tahoe and hitting at such an angle that I wound up halfway under it was... I still don't have words to adequately describe it. The nearly three years of surgeries, complications, medical mishaps, and pure unmitigated hell that was the recovery from that accident pushed me past the brink into a metaphorical forge, where I came out definitely altered, but in many ways very much stronger.

    Here I am, 29 years old, and I've faced down death twice already and am here to talk about it. I've sorted through issues that most never dare confront. Have I had experiences that changed the core of who I am and my beliefs and value system? You god damn right I have.

    As an addendum-I apologize for being Debbie Downer. A lot of this stuff is still really damn hard to talk about, but I didn't realize just how hard it still was until I replied earlier. A whole lot of negativity and nightmarish emotion came rushing to the fore at one time, and honestly, I'm still reeling a bit even this long after posting originally.

    The thing is, after all of it, I've come away with a genuine appreciation of and thirst for life, as well as the now-inescapable knowledge of how fleeting and fragile it really is and we really are as human beings. Honestly, I feel as though I'm stronger for having gone through my experiences, as though I've been through the fires and been forged into something far greater than just raw material. At the base of it all, though, life is too precious and too fucking short to piss it away, and honestly, what's the point of life if you're not going to live it?
    Last edited by GoldDragonAurkarm; 03-Aug-2011 at 23:21.

  3. #3


    This is definitely the thread for me... As a matter of fact, if it weren't for this experience, I probably wouldn't be on ADISC.
    This experience was a life-saver for me and a big wake-up call. Depression. Can you believe it? December 2010 until about March 2011, I was depressed big time. I had never been depressed before, but I knew. All I wanted to do all day was sleep and cry. Three reasons why this depression came about: 1) My religion at the time... it just wasn't the path for me. But, for the sake of my parents, friends, and myself, I was forcing myself to believe in it. The depression made me realize that it was doing more harm than good.
    2) Coming to terms with my TB self and diaper fetish. My religion at the time basically shunned anything sexual, including fetishes. I felt like a pervert, and just generally felt icky and disgusted. And 3) We were just moving to a new house, which I'm sure placed a bit of pressure on me. It was the cherry on the depression cake.

    After weeks of crying, sleeping, eating, and basically doing nothing all day but wallowing in despair and thinking about how nice it would be to die, I finally womanned-up and did something about it.
    First thing first... I searched for what I really believed in. I remember someone a long time ago, sharing their religion with me, confiding in me about it. She was a pagan, and I did not accept her because of my own up-tight beliefs at the time. Recalling this memory, something drew me to it that night... I just looked it up and soaked in all the information.
    It didn't take long for me to realize how much it made sense... and that it was most definitely the path for me. After that, everything fell into place, and I've been extremely happy with my life ever since.

    Sometimes, depression is something that the mind needs. It's an alarm that you need to make a change in your life, or you're going to live with this sadness forever. I made a vow when I beat the depression that I would never force myself to do or believe anything that I wasn't okay with. It was probably the best decision of my life.

  4. #4


    I see that I've kind of wasted some of it, things I could have used money for I spent on video games that I was just hording or wanted to play but don't have the time to play.
    Sometimes you need to waste time. I try not to get too hung up about it. I think we need those hours spend doing pointless stuff more than we realize and I try not to beat myself up too much when I think about all the hours I've spent doing absolutely nothing when there were much more productive things I could have been doing.

    Life changing experience wise I've been pretty lucky so far. My life has been a little too smooth. The only major life changer I can think of is my father dying several years ago. It all sounds very cliche, but it really did make my realize how short life is and how it can suddenly end. My father was a work-a-holic, somewhat frugal, and never got to really relax and enjoy the spoils .. I was kinda going down the same road and among other things I realized that while you need to think about the future and long term goals, you have to do stuff that will bring you happiness right now.

  5. #5


    Being friends with gay people my own age/mindset has helped out a lot. It's also led me to a somewhat slow realization that I am asexual and only perfer/need emotional relationships.

    As for politics wises Being here on adisc has changed my views somewhat but nothing near as much as M*A*S*H (the show) or Penn jillet (From Penn and Teller). This next election i'm either going to "throw my vote away" on Ron Paul or vote for mitt romney. However I been increasingly dislike Romney and nearly every other politician I've seen.

  6. #6


    I've had so many that's it hard to keep track. Like xbabyx, I was hit by a car while on my bike when I was 14 years old. I was crossing a busy highway, and a guy running a red light got me, he driving 40 mph. Six month later I was able to return to school. Up until the accident, I was living a very destructive life. While laid up, none of my friends came to visit, but a family from up the street did, two boys who I didn't know. The one my age would become my best friend. My lifestyle changed from getting into trouble constantly, to playing sports and weight lifting.

    College was very life changing for me. I was dumped by my girlfriend, and I had an exclusively gay relationship with someone I still care a great deal about. I was involved with the civil rights movement and protested against Vietnam. During that time my SO and I conjured up a real ghost using a Ouija board. Between that and the near death experience from being hit by the car, my metaphysical life developed significantly. I have always been close to death and the other side, but these experiences took me closer.

    Though I have always been a church music director, I don't have a lot of faith or trust in organized religion. Churches never seem to get it right, if that makes any sense. I'm not sure they can because they're stuck with the flaws in the Bible. If they used some intelligence they might be able to free themselves. Anyway, my experiences have freed me. My dad was Lenne Lenape Indian, and so I see a bigger picture in creation and "the everything". All of life is a journey, and I have allowed that journey to open my eyes and hopefully change me for the better.

  7. #7


    STE ( Spiritually Trans-formative Experiences )

    There are a few having to do with the "supernatural" things such as near death experiences, psychic awareness, seeing a ghost, and others.

    One experience I had that was life changing for me was coming close to taking my own life. I had planed to freeze to death in the frozen over creak bed that had sentimental significance to me. Took me a few minutes to realize I didn't have the courage to go through with it. I looked at life differently after that.

  8. #8


    Like xbabyx I had an enormous life changing experience when I faced down death through no fault of my own, and then spent years recovering.

    I was living away from home in a different country doing school when I caught a virus that attacked and weakened my immune system. I ended up getting multiple lung diseases, bacteria in my heart, and throat. I shrunk two inches and lost 50 pounds in a matter of one month. I had to have several surgeries, died on the operating table, was brought back, had radiation therapy, etc. and the list goes on and on and on. Needless to say I spent several years recovering from being sick, and that time wasn't pleasant. When your truly in physical and emotional distress you get to see who really cares about you, sticks through it all with you, and who your friends really are. It also gives you a lot of time to look at the things in your life (and life in general) that really matter. My perspective on life, and what I felt was truly important really changed during those three years or so. Where I put my personal values on life changed drastically.

    For me I came out of the experience believing that life is precious, and should be treated as such. I also came to believe that people (myself included), their emotions, their relationships, friendships, and knowledge are the most precious things that life has to offer. They are the "life" experience. My whole belief system regarding life changed during those years in a way that I believe few people can understand unless they've had to face their own mortality as well. I made it through a lot of disturbing and uncomfortable medical issues that had their own emotional issues attached to them. I am glad I made it. I'm glad that I've been able to learn from it. I'm glad it has given me the perspective on life that I have now. Would I wish a near death experience on anyone? No, but it would be interesting to find out how many people here at ADISC have had near death experiences. It would also be interesting to hear about what they learned through their trying experiences. (Maybe a topic for a new thread if it hasn't been done already?)

    It has also helped me become much much more empathetic to people suffering through their own problems, whether they be physical or emotional.

    On a side note it was also interesting to see how medicine in general is practiced and handled in a socialized European type setting as compared to the medical system here in the United States.

  9. #9


    I haven't just thought about this in reflection of his illness and death but many times before in trying to share his wisdom.

    My Granddad changed the way I thought about life when I was a teenager when He looked at me and said,

    "You are one of the smartest young men I've ever known, and it doesn't have a thing to do with what you know.
    It is because you are not afraid to admit what you don't.

  10. #10


    I've had two near death experiences. The first was when I was hit while riding my bike, as I explained. Witnesses said I flew over the car and landed on my back. I was unconscious so I had no knowledge of what happened. I never saw the car and didn't have any notion of being hit. I thought I was home in bed, or somewhere where I was completely at peace. I was aware of this light that was around me. I wrote about that experience in my short story "Werewolf" when the first boy is killed by the werewolf. His experience was my real experience.

    The second near death experience was when I had a bleeding ulcer in 1985. My wife took me to a medical treatment facility and after being diagnosed with a bleeding ulcer, they were wheeling me to our van. On the way, out on the parking lot, I became unconscious and went through the tunnel of light. I saw my parents standing there along with my grandparents and a number of other people. It was somewhat hazy, and there was this rushing sound as I rushed forward through the tunnel and toward them. Suddenly I reversed direction and started to travel backwards. I became conscious in the wheel chair with my doctor concerned and asking me if I was alright. They rushed me to intensive care where I received five units of blood and two endoscopes.

    I never told anyone about that experience for years. Not even my wife, and I don't know why. It was so personal and profound, almost like it was a secret, between me and God. I feel that when people die, there will a past loved one who will come for them and cross them over. Yes, those two experiences changed me, and gave me a quiet hope and a sense of peace that the next life awaits.

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