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Thread: Taking care of the little one.

  1. #1

    Default Taking care of the little one.

    I just want to tell a little about my process of reparenting the personality fragments that I often refer to as lilbabymikey. I must stress that I am in an adult program and I live in an apartment with a very understanding roomate named Lee. I recieve all the validation I need from many proffesional counselors, whom I've known for years, 22 years in one instance. I say all this because unless you have these resources you will need a very different approach.

    My goal is to be the best parent for a little child I can be.

    Right now I wear diapers 24/7 and many of my friends in therapy know it. They may not understand the reasons, which include severe emotional challenges, but they are very kind and I don't say much about it to them. There really is nothing to say.

    I remind Mikey when to go potty most of the time but I also let him experience the infantile joy of wetting and soiling, usually when I am at home, but I often wet out in the community. I give him a diaper change wherever there is a public restroom if I can or at home. I always carry a backpack which doubles as a diaper bag, but no one who doesn't need to know would be able to figure that out.

    One of the staff members is, though our relationship remains a proffesional one, a very nurturing mother figure to me. My case manager is a young counselor who is, to my infant alter, like an elder sister to me. The director who is a very educated man is a good friend and mentor.

    My hope is that my incontinence (for lack of a better term) will diminish and there will be considerable resolution of past traumas that are contributing factors in my infantilism and other emotional disturbances.

    It is begiining to work, but like any healing it is a process. I am much more open, especially with women, and I've been showing good progress in other areas such as sel-esteem and and interpersonal effectiveness. I don't know how long I will keep Mikey in diapers, but its okay if it is a while, a month or two perhaps. But then I will toilet train him and it will be bye bye diapers...well how about "see ya later diapers!" You all know that a diaper is a wonderful thing sometimes!

    Thanks for reading. Later.


  2. #2


    To all who have visited this post and give a damn, I offer a final progress report.

    I am an insest survivor. I was raped by my own mother, repeatedly as an infant and a toddler. There was anal penitration via enema. There was sexual contact with her genitals and overstimulation of an infant and toddler. My mother is a pedophile, at least with her own children. I have no way of knowing if she ever perpetrated this on other children, but I am fairly certain my younger brother suffered similar abuse. This all happened in the late 60's and early 70's. My infantilism and incontinence was a direct result of this.
    I am now entering recovery from a lifelong attempt to relive my infancy. I hoped for a reasonably happy outcome and have always been unsatisfied. As with recovery from an addiction to alcohol the first thing to do is to abstain in the addictive behavior, which I will now attempt, and not without much support from both friends and proffessionals.
    This is my final post on this site and I want to thank everyone and encourage all to do what you feel comfortable with without hurting anyone. Do not accept judgement; it never helps. And look deeply for reasons for any behaviors that disturb you. I have and I am glad.

    Thanks again.

    -"Reality is Love."

  3. #3


    Leave, why?

    I'm unsure as to why you are leaving, it sounds like you are getting better. I don't really know what to say, but I do wonder why you would want to leave, we would and will support you all the way to full recovery, for the terrible things that happened to you.

    There isn't much of a point in trying to quit it, although using it as a coping mechanism might not be good for something this severe, another outlet, but supplemented with this, would be just fine.
    Last edited by Mr Alex; 04-Aug-2008 at 00:11.

  4. #4


    This isn't quite the same as alcohol. Your infantilism-abstinence is probably not going to work, but good luck anyway.

  5. #5


    Yeah, I mean, you can take a break from it for a few months probably, but you're always going to want it. But don't compare infantalism to alcoholism please, it's closer to an addiction to chocolate. There are some downsides, but in the end, it won't kill you. It's something you manage. You don't eat too much chocolate, and you don't over indulge in infantalism. You have to have a real life outside of it.

    It seems to me that you are developing that, so I'm glad. Keep going! Just don't be too hard on yourself for the infantalism stuff. It's really not that big of a deal if you just mellow it out a bit, I guess.

  6. #6


    So you are like quitting Infatilism, I wouldnt really say that its anything bad like addiction. But maybe you have found a way to be happy and you dont need Infantilism anymore then good for you! though I havent really heard many people that successfully gets away from Infantilism, its rare. Just dont try and look like at it like its something bad! and I wish you my best regards. Good Bye! Hopefully you can come back to the site just to say hello sometime!

  7. #7


    If your counselors think it best for you to leave this site, then maybe that is what you should do. If this is your decision alone, I would just say don't beat yourself up because you are an infantilist. What happened to you is not your fault. Even if it didn't, being an infantilist under any circumstances is not your fault. You just simply are. If your counselors believe though, that you are not experiencing balance and control, it might be best to try to get a handle on it. But people on this site can help you with that. We need as site members, to remember where you are coming from, and be very supportive and forgiving. For now, do what is best for you.

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