Does anyone else have eating issues/disorders? Does being an ABDL make it a compound problem for anyone else?
I'm 5'2", so at a healthy and lower healthy (and unhealthily low) weight I can fit into girl's children's clothing- and it helps me regress. So when I gain more (basically when I'm around my family a lot in the summer, my mom is obese- literally, my brother is very overweight and my dad somewhat overweight) I get uncomfortable since I had the eating disorder (anorexia) to begin with- and I can no longer regress as well because children's clothing doesn't fit very well/at all. I still tightly fit into their 14/16s, but my 14 sized clothes don't fit at the moment, and it's anxiety inducing. I've actually never weighed this much in my life, and had to buy size 4 shorts (my weight is going down now, and it might be somewhat because of somewhat unhealthy eating, but my family eats a ton, and they still haven't caught on to any issues at all, and I've stayed out of ketosis aside from one slip.)
The point is, left to my own devices, I stay at a size 0-2 in pant sizes (mostly 1-2), never counting calories and simply eating, with my bmi never slipping into underweight ranges (of course my family freaks out a bit, but they're overweight and don't comprehend healthy eating either), but added stress plus stress with my family is causing issues at the moment, plus stress over other things, and I can't regress to deal with it.
I don't really know what I'm asking, since I know you all aren't doctors or therapists and can't fix it, and I know that once I settle back in college my weight will stabilize a bit lower than it is now, I'll be happy and it'll clear up- it always does. It's just that my family eats more and tries to make me weigh more than I'm comfortable with (which does more harm than good, since I haven't hit an underweight bmi that I know of since I recovered, even if they have told me I was getting too thin a few times.) But right now I'm a bit chubby. >.< I mean, I know I'm not fat fat, I can fit into a Japanese size medium, and they're pretty smallish, but I still feel chubby.
I guess I really want help coping with this in a healthy manner so that I don't end up exercising compulsively. It's normal (not healthy but normal) for one's weight to creep up if you eat with overweight people, and I wasn't expecting this much gain this summer (really, my family has gained also-they're just eating more.) I feel extremely unattractive and can't feel little at all and have no clue how to deal with it. Support from eating disorder recovery type sites wouldn't be as helpful I don't think, because they don't see it as being so entwined with wanting to be little either. It's a more multifaceted problem than I imagine most eating disorder sufferers really deal with (normally it's just control, perfectionism, trauma, parental boundary issues and a combination of other things, but being "little" adds and odd dimension.)
Help? O.o Some kind of help?