I was a very happy baby and succesfully completed all the stages of early childhood developement...except the last one. My mother became pregnant when I was 4 and went into a pre and post partem depression that lasted for many years. She could not take adequate care of my younger brother, who remained autistic until age 5. Through no fault of her own my mother neglected him severely. She also neglected me and my older brother. I was so lonely for her that I longed for the days of infancy when mom was happy and so was I. I would smell the odors of a nursery and be overwhelmed with sadness and a terrible desire to wet myself and be diapered by any good woman who really cared about me. Mom was not there, and yet she still lived in my house.
This is the genisis of my own paraphilc infantilism which blossomed in my teens and now is firmly set in my psyche. Did I choose it?...Hell No. Do I like it? No again. Is it my fault, or yours? I say no, what do you say? What caused you to want to do such odd things? Do you know? Tell me.
"We didn't create all our problems, but we must solve them all." DBT