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Thread: Shirt-Pins: A conspicuous (but vague) show of your AB/DL alliance

  1. #1

    Arrow Shirt-Pins: A conspicuous (but vague) show of your AB/DL alliance

    From time to time, someone in the global AB/DL community decides to promote some kind of wearable symbol of alliance and kinship. So with this thread I throw my hat into the ring as well. :-)

    Why, do you ask, would one want to wear neon shorts with flashing LEDs across the butt that spell out "I AM AN ADULT BABY / DIAPER LOVER"? Well, for most people the idea is for like-minded individuals to find each other, and not to advertise our status/desires to the general public, so none of the ideas are that obvious. There have been a couple of vague but creative and memorable designs released in the past. The most well-accepted symbols I've seen are this pin from 2002 and this flag created in 2005. I think there are four reasons these symbols have not been as widely used as their creators had hoped: first, someone has to pay for supplies to make them; second, someone has to have the ability to make them (or can pay to have them made elsewhere and mailed); third, someone has to wear them; and finally, unless you have many pieces of flair (and some of you do and that's awesome!), it will stand out and attract way too much interest. If someone sees a unique and colorful symbol on your outfit, they'll be intrigued and ask you about it. That's perfectly fine in those situations where people are expected to "let their freak flag fly", but if you're not in that position, you'd have to have a good cover story ready. They might go find the real meaning through Google anyway, and there goes your secret...

    So here's the first part of my idea: On all my T-shirts, I have attached a safety pin to the bottom hem that hangs at the front of my right leg. I call it my shirt-pin. Sometimes people will ask me why I am wearing a safety pin on my shirt. Well, because it's useful - at different times I've used my shirt-pin to replace missing buttons, to push reset switches on gadgets, to clean under my fingernails, to stand in for a paper clip if I can't find one, etc... I can tell which batch of laundry is mine by finding my shirt-pins. I could even pick a handcuff lock, maybe, if I had to... The utility is undeniable. Nobody's ever given me grief for having a shirt-pin. They might even think about wearing one too!

    Which leads to the second part of the idea: If you see someone wearing a shirt-pin, simply ask them: "May I ask why you have a safety pin on your shirt, or are you trying to keep it on the DL?" (I mean DL in the slang sense "down-low", or as Wikipedia defines it "Keeping an act, action or some other piece of information a secret".) A random individual will respond with the myriad reasons they've found their safety pin useful. But anybody who is in on the secret will understand they were just asked about their shirt-pin by a fellow AB/DL! If that happens to me, I plan to say "I appreciate the pun!" and then introduce myself from there.

    So there you have it - if you want to participate, simply find some safety pins, apply one to the bottom hem of your shirt, and be on the lookout for others with shirt-pins too. Happy hunting!

    TL;DR: In which I propose applying a standard safety pin to the bottom right hem of your shirt, and looking out for others who are doing the same!

  2. #2


    How is it any different from that? Plus would you really want to be ID'ed by random people who like diapers in public?

    Consider that while knowing that deekers site saw well more then 1000+ page views a week, likely day.

  3. #3


    I find ideas like this interesting, but what would scare me about doing this is the thought that I might attach a safety pin to my shirt, and then have some creepy AB/DL approach me in public, when I may be around friends and family, and confront me about it, "Oh hey, wow, you like wearing diapers too!!"

    Even if I could convince the guy that I am not a part of this community and that the safety pin is just a random pin I like to keep on me in case I need it, I am not a great liar and I think the truth would show on my face at least to any friends or family who were with me, and it would be hard to assure them that I do not like to wear diapers and that I am not an AB; I already give off enough clues that I am an AB were anyone caring to connect the dots, but I am counting on the fact that outside of our community most people don't know ABs exist, however, were someone to oust me as part of this community that would surely cement the ideas in their heads.

    In fantasy the idea of finding other AB/DLs in my area through this method is great, because in fantasy the people I met would be like me; discreet, sensible, mature members of the AB/DL community who would keep my being an AB/DL in their confidence and would not have any expectations that I might want to engage in AB/DL activities with them. However, I have met enough creepy people in the AB/DL community to know that not all of us are like that, and in reality it would not be easy to filter the creeps from the decent people. There is no guarantee that everybody would be considerate enough to use the clever 'keep it on the DL' idea you suggested, and so adopting any widespread symbol would be too much of a risk for me.

    That said, I can see the merits of this idea, it is nice to feel that you can express this side of yourself in public somewhat. I have a pacifier attached to the zip of my handbag, which just looks like a random keychain type thing to most, but still expresses my little side in a way only I know. But I think that if an idea such as this was to become widespread it would be important for people to consider the risks of being recognised by the less considerate or reserved members of the AB/DL community.

    I would also say that, even if on first meeting somebody appeared considerate, if you expose yourself as an AB/DL to somebody in your home town (and, if you are bumping into them, it is likely they will be from your local area) and you later find out that they are not the kind of person you would want to know about this side of yourself you put yourself at risk. They could end up trying to pressure you into engaging in AB/DL activities with them, start pestering you and trying to make constant contact with you to the extent of being very annoying or even threaten to tell your family/friends about your secret if you try to break contact with them or don't want to engage in activities they suggest. Once you have told somebody you are an AB/DL you cannot take it back, and if they later turn out to be creepy if they already know who you are, or live close enough to bump into you during your everyday life, then that could be a massive problem if they ever wish to expose or blackmail you.

    So, as I said, in fantasy this is a great idea; meet other AB/DLs in your area without having to search by using a symbol that no-one else will recognise and make great friends. However, the reality may not live up to the fantasy, and it may be a case of; meet other AB/DLs in your area who may turn out to be the sort of people in our community you wish had never fond out about your interest and who expose you to friends and family. Of course, that is a worst case scenario and this idea does, of course, have the potential for people to have positive encounters with other AB/DLs too, but in my opinion the best case scenario (meet a really nice AB/DL in your area who you get on with really well and keeps your secret) is not worth the risk of that worst case scenario. Sorry.

  4. #4


    Fire2box: Thanks for the link! I realize that I just rediscovered TeddyHugs' idea from that thread :-) I think I might take his idea and apply a safety pin to my left pocket as well, since sometimes I have to tuck my shirt in, and the pin on the pocket "suggests" a diaper pin a lot better than the shirt-pin location does. (I have e-mailed TeddyHugs to thank and apologize to him for the theft of his idea <grin>)

    babyjess: Your points are undeniably true. There's a spectrum of how private versus how public one is willing to be in admitting one's unique strangeness. I admit I have no experience or basis for comparison, because nobody has ever seen and understood my shirt-pin to be anything but a random safety-pin and I've never yet been able to follow through with my example DL-pun-based "challenge/response authentication".

    I have seen plenty of rainbow-stripes on vehicles, and I know that's there because the vehicle owner is proclaiming rather publically to enjoy the company of the same gender. I wouldn't go up to a random female and say "OMG, so your rainbow stripe means you're a lesbian? I've never met a lesbian before! Do you have a girlfriend or a wife or a ... she-husband or something?" I assume that attracting this kind of attention is not the intent; the vehicle owner is most likely proud and wants to show the public that they exist, and wants other like-minded individuals to be aware of their status.

    I've also seen, no kidding, a vehicle license plate/tag that said "IM AN ABY"! Now that's confidence. (I don't remember if it had spaces, but I added them to make it less Google-able.) I wish I could meet the owner of that vehicle, and find out how many people have ever asked about the meaning of their tag. I originally made up that DL pun while thinking of a way to ask about the license plate :-) I chose not to follow the vehicle, though, because that would be creepy. And I certainly agree that creeps (people with less respect for others' privacy and humility) are common.

    I've already decided to sacrifice some of my privacy online. I believe that if you know me personally already, and add enough clues together (age, location, occupation, and my writing style), you can tell who I am. I'm mentally prepared for someone to call me "whisko" in real life. I don't know how exactly that would go, but I figure whoever would do that has also invested enough time to be just as guilty. (I mean that in the same way that it's impossible for person A to maliciously accuse person B of hanging out at gay bars all the time, without implying that person A was at the gay bars keeping tabs on person B.)

    Many years ago I was much more into the AB/DL get-together scene. I went to a party in Ohio, threw a successful one (12 or so people) in Indiana, and a not-so-successful one (me and one other guy) in Chicago. I shared my personal details with many of them, and I understand that in some way they now have the ability to hold that over my head and blackmail me. It hasn't happened though, mostly because I'm just not that famous, and also simply because of the takes-one-to-know-one part of the get-together scene. The only thing that happened is one guy has sent me a very tasteful Christmas card a few times. I miss the scene. I had a lot of fun, and I highly recommend it to anyone of legal age. I'd go to conventions if I had the time and the money.

    If members of a secret society remain 100% private, they'll each remain 100% solitary. Despite the fact that some people are just unavoidably creeps, this shirt-pin idea remains my effort to suggest an easy and cheap but deniable way to take it just a little further and represent in public.

  5. #5


    It'd totally in my opinion that we should, there are so many of us out there. We need to accept are selfs and get past the stigma about diapers, let's make a stand and stop hiding from the world. Its not like were killing anyone so why not? People are just people so why worry? There not going to kill us, just don't let them get you down.

  6. #6

  7. #7


    You clearly haven't gotten the subcutaneous imbedded chip that seeks out like chips. When I meet one of us, my chip sends a mild charge of 40,000 volts coursing through my body to let me know that the person closest to me also has a chip doing the same. It's not so much that I can recognize them by the inherent chip signal, but that the high sudden burst of voltage causes me to instantly void myself, thus identifying myself to the other guy who is voiding himself.

  8. #8


    :-) That's awesome dogboy! Stay padded in case I'm just around the corner. hahah

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