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Thread: Ways to ease your anger about another person.

  1. #1

    Default Ways to ease your anger about another person.

    So, have any of you all thought about someone you hated all of a sudden, and just felt your blood pressure rise, and your blood boil? If so, how do you go about easing the stress and all? Personally, I try to play video games involving war and destruction, like Civilization or DEFCON.

  2. #2


    I have definitely been in your shoes; some people just spark this intense passion within you, and you just can't stop thinking about them. Hatred is a powerful thing, and to put it bluntly, it sucks. Gandhi had this great quote about anger: “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” He couldn't be closer to the truth.

    The most important thing to do is forgiveness. Forgiving someone is the biggest step to loosing that anger. You can finally let go of everything. I know that it is sometimes very hard to do, but it is super super important for overcoming that anger for another person.

    Here's another thing that I've learned is what to do "after" you forgive them. I learned this from "Tuesdays with Morrie:" when you feel anger, let it build up and grow so that you'll be able to recognize it. Once you realize that you are feeling the epitome of anger, just let it go. Let it drift away like a cloud. That way, every time you feel anger, you'll be able to recognize it and rid it from your mind as quickly as possible. This sounds more complicated than it actually is, and I assure you, it works.

    Other things to: stay away from things that remind you of this person. If you can't do this, try to minimalize the contact you have with him/her. Finding a new hobby/thing to do is always a plus; going outside and enjoying the sunshine can really bring your dopamine levels up. So can exercise. Go for a bike ride, a run, a walk, or a swim - anything. Get your mind off the person, and your anger will melt away a lot sooner.

    I hope this helped, and good luck. We're here for you.

  3. #3


    I go over why I "hate" that person and defuse the situation myself. Though it can be hard at times.

    For example.

    A few weeks ago my older brother who left the house at the age of 14 to live with other family and friends. He came back to this city after leaving it behind over a decade ago. he tried to get my dad to allow him, me and his other friend to clean up the house my dad owns out right. Since in the current condition its totally unlivable and is filled with what most would consider trash, shit, refuse. So my dad as a hoarder wanted no part of that at all. Threw a fit and went off on tangents on how his deceased neighbors hated him, hit gold balls over the fence and just bitched and bitched about people who are dead.

    My brother told me at that moment he really wanted to just kill our dad but he realized that would solve nothing so he drove off to a random place, or one that he liked from his childhood and simply cried. I suffered trough the same situation many, many times at least once a year.

    So my tips are:
    1. Think it out as logically as you can. Why do you dislike this person? what do you get from hating this person? etc.
    2. If they did something to wrong you such as throwing any help you give in your face. Simply cry over it, if that's what it takes to get your anger and/or sorrow out of your system.

    Back to the subject about my older brother. My brother left shortly after being denyed a job he really wanted in San Fransisco. A job that he got BA's for. So my brother literary did all he could to make it work in California but forces outside of his control wouldn't let it happen. So my brother went back up to oregon to take care of things, see off friends, etc. Now he's moving to Maui which is awesome.

    But once again I view this as another incident where my dad directly lead my older brother to move away. My older brother and I only tried to help our dad clean out a house and he just threw it right back in out faces. So I can't blame my brother for leaving. But even with all of this my older brother did do his best so he's personally at as much peace as he can be, with that situation.

    However i'm left with a seething anger at my dad for all the fucking bullshit he pulled, and how he can't accept help, etc. So the only thing I can literary do is deal with that by myself and cry. Also I do play violent video games like Just Cause 2, Left 4 Dead, etc. They do help and surprisingly my older brother is kinda of for it. As long as your using it for a release and not using it to build up even more anger.

    which is actually why I quit TF2 for now. TF2 only made me more pissed off since I always got mad at my team for various reasons.

  4. #4


    I used to have strong aggressive tendencies and used to get violent, very violent, quite quickly if provoked...
    ended up in a lot of fights...
    These days if I feel angered to that point I'll keep it bottled and "mutiliate" my boxing-bag at home later...
    or go running.

  5. #5


    I personally have to remember that everybody on the planet has his own shit to deal with. No exceptions.

    These days I am finding myself praying for the well-being of people who have done me wrong. It really helps to modify my perspective on things, and while it is a lot more comfortable of me to continue thinking, "this person and that person is a fucking cunt," I do feel a sense of relief when I break out of that well of hatred. There is not a single person on the planet who has not done his share of fucked-up things. I am not going to turn the other cheek anytime soon, but it does help to remember that maybe the people doing the offending are going through issues of their own that are none of my concern. And I also have to remember that the actions of others really are reflections upon those people, and not upon myself.
    Last edited by KaworuVsDrWily; 18-Jul-2011 at 23:59. Reason: Fixing typos

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