About a few years ago, I caught my dad looking at porn on the computer. Kinda the opposite, when you consider its typically the parents that catch you out.
But I thought it was just porn. How ever, later I realised its was more than that, its turns out that he is on a few of those dating sites. From what I caught at the time, he wasn't really talking to anybody. However, numerous time has he been googling "<AREA OF LIVING> escorts". Not what you would typically expect from a 40 year old.
Now, I was quite shocked at the time. My mum was clueless what he has been doing, not only is she computer illiterate. (I have to browse the web with her, She doesn't know how to look for hyper links or what they mean). But When dad was out, I managed to tell her of my findings. My mum didn't realise what he was doing as he would go on these sites with mum out of the house. But this isn't unusual and this isn't the first.
Turns out, he is quiet the cheater. My mum told me, ever since we got the internet he has been doing this. And met up with other people out side of the internet to have affairs with. But yet, they are still together, my mum says that this is because she keeps falling in the trap of "he will never do it again" and that "he is very sorry". But now, she can't afford to split because she needs the financial support. She said, If possible, they would not be together. But with my dad just out of the army serving for 22years, has be given a few grand that is planned to paid towards the mortgage, and he has his army pension when he is older. He now has his own business earning a decent amount (but only when his customers pay him! That's another matter of stupid idiots).
What has my mum got, She works part time, while is a part time student. Trying to become a nurse so that she can earn a bit more for herself in future. The only reason she spent the past two years in education was mainly to safe guard herself against dad. Kinda sad really. She also said, before we moved, we used to own a B'n'B and she enjoyed it there. and she would of been happy to run the place on her own. She only moved, because of stress of the current affair dad was having and couldn't work well.
All these times my dad was having these affairs and my mum caught, I was totally oblivious to what was happening, It was a shame really, I thought my older brother had issues, But it turns out, that was was often being pulled on the leg where dad would indirectly say he was to blame for the family, said really. Move forward like 8 years, He is now working for him in his business. No real troubles other than his attitude and effort sometimes (he has only him self this time to blame).
Now, going back to when I first found out what he really was doing. And told my mum about it. I was asked is there anyway to monitor his activities, being the "computer know it all". I said there was a key logger on his office computer. (hence, how I found the details), I told her how to check it. And now ever now and then she checks the logs to see what he has been upto. I don't really regret taking the decision myself to initially install the key logger. But it makes you wonder, What if it was just porn? Would I just be invading his privacy, or was it justified?
My mum doesn't care about him looking at porn, its just talking to other girls. So she isn't too outraged for her husband being a dirty pervert or anything.
However, Over the past years, My dad has become suspicious of his activities being monitored and has asked me on numerous occasions is there anything on the machine that is capturing his activities and is it even possible? I just put on my best poker face and bluff.
I don't even feel guilty for it. I don't feel upset about it, or anything. I am really ignorant towards my family? Or am I guarding and protecting my family's financial future? I am feel what I am doing is as natural as having breakfast every morning, and I don't make it a habit either to keep an eye on people like this. Or does it 'Take two to tango', He is winding us up by his net actives and we are winding him up by keeping an eye on him from a distance?
I considered posting this ages ago when I was on TBDL. But I thought it wasnt' necessary, the only reason I posted it last night, was I 'in the mood too' and thought I would post a topic in the mature forum.
So where do you draw the line on what measures you will take to handle the situation? I felt I have gone too far, yet I can still do more.