Well, this has been on my mind today as I was digging for some papers in my apartment and I found a lot of old papers from when I was in school, and I'm surprised I even survived it. I was a terrible student, a fish out of water and I sure as hell had no guidance. I just wanted OUT of the school system I was in.
Reading all those papers, notes and things from the teachers has made me think a lot about it and how my life is. And how I didn't do well, or apply myself like I should have instead of being so hooked on my obsessions as a child and teenager. At the time I just hated being in those buildings because of the torment I suffered at the hands of the other students.
With what they know now, I know I probably would have done a lot better. For starters, I found out in '04 I was Asperger's Syndrome, but back then diagnosed with severe ADHD. The meds they had me on didn't help me much and they didn't give me the direction I needed in school.
As I look back, and think of what they know now with Asperger's, I wonder if I would have succeded a bit better; especially in a school system where I felt out of place, alone, and tormented by the students because I was the odd man out. Lately, I've thought about all of the advances and the knowledge we have now that has made me think more about it. Would I have done better now with everything we know?
Maybe, I think so... some of my friends who are teachers say the programs for those with Asperger's are far better than the crapfest I grew up with in the 80s and until I graduated- barely; in '95.
I had a hard time socially because I was so far behind on those skills. I feel better now, though because of all the friends I have and things I have learned in just the last six years of my life. People took time to get to know me, spend time with me and helped me along the way with that. I only wish I would have had that in school instead of being the guy who sat in the back reading a Star Trek or Tom Clancy novel.
Lately, I've felt a bit gyped at times as I look back at what I had and what is availible now for those students who have Asperger's Syndrome. I know schools work with the students a lot more, and I wonder if I just simply grew up in the wrong era.
If you are wondering what kind of papers I was looking at, it was old IEPs, report cards, grade warnings, et al.
I've wondered if anyone else ever has felt this way about their education as I have.