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Thread: Sibling...Hate?

  1. #1

    Default Sibling...Hate?

    My older brother, and I get along. Let's just clarify that for one moment.
    My younger brother and I don't. In fact, he doesn't get along with anyone in our family anymore. Which is just sad.

    I've tried reconnecting with him, because he's my brother and in some small way I do love and care for him. But, he blew me off...UNTIL he found out how much I'm getting paid a week. And then he decided to hang around me. Ask me for money, and once he found out he wasn't getting anything from me...he darted out of that situation. (He has only 5K in the bank now, while he had 30K only a few months's a long story.)

    Because apparently I'm a "situation".

    I tried, and I think I'm done trying. At least I hope I am.

    I wanted to ask the forum if I should help him if he ever falls? He's never helped us, but I still feel so protective over him.

    My older brother told me to stay out of his future problems, but I'm so unsure. Should I leave him behind until he SEEMS honest, or just let him go for good?

    Any advice, is good advice.
    Thank you all!!!! I've truly appreciated all past advice from this forum, which is why I come here a lot when I need guidance. So thank you!

  2. #2


    My older brother and youngest brother are likely going to be in the same situation. I already decided what I'll do.

    I'll help them enough to survive, but not enough to be comfortable. I'm not going to pay for their life, but I won't leave them in the streets.

  3. #3


    I agree with what Zephy said.

    Helping a family member out is fine if they need it to survive, but don't let them take advantage of you.

    I let my brother and sister-in-law live with me for a while when they were on the streets. I paid for their food, and gave them shelter, but that was about it.

  4. #4


    My youngest sister and I don't talk; mainly cause of her freeloading, lying, cheating, dead-beat dad-wanted by 2 states for child support, video game playing, anime watching, horror movie watching loser that uses a bullshit excuse to avoid working because I found out his secret; he doesn't want anyone to find him. He claims he can't get a license because of a problem with his last name, birth certificate, and whatever- I call bullshit on that. I know he just doesn't want to work. He wants to watch his precious anime and play his video games.

    I won't talk to her after a rather infamous St. Patty's Day incident at my bar in which her boyfriend was badmouthing my mom and dad, badmouting the house he and my sister were mooching off of, and he made one FATAL mistake, a mistake that all the alcohol in the world won't help me forget- he was talking about what he does to my sister in bed WHILE I was in earshot. I know the ass did it on purpose to get a rise out of me.

    I don't talk to her because I know I will probably say something I might regret and cause a family feud. That's something I don't want to deal with right now. My sister has also ripped me off a few times as well, saying the money was for groceries when I later find out it goes towards a PS3, and some games for the idiot loser. So I don't talk to her- I was polite to her, and held my mouth when I saw her at my niece's baptismal and on Easter. I just don't want to deal with the situation right now- I have enough on my plate.

    Note, I am not ripping on anime fans or horror movie fans or anything like that. I was just saying all he does instead of working. Me, I have a reason for not working, he doesn't. He just wants to mooch and hide from Johnny Law and prison. That bothers me a lot. So, I don't talk to either of them unless I have to and that's why I avoid ALL family gatherings unless my old man bribes me.

    It's not hate, more like dislike for me right now more than anything really in regards to my sister.


  5. #5


    My half-sister is a lying, manipulative, sleazy, ungrateful person.

    Knowing her, she probably won't go to college or get a job. I bet she'll try to mooch off my parents and I for her whole life, or just flirt with guys for money.
    I've already decided, I'm not going to pay her way.

    I don't want to be a dick, but some people have to learn the hard way.

  6. #6
    Butterfly Mage


    I have to say that my sister and I do NOT see eye-to-eye on much of anything. I guess part of it is how we were raised. Mom was a falling-down drunk. Dad was a sexual sadist and a serial adulterer.

    With that backdrop, there was certainly favoritism in the family. When my parents divorced, mom got my sister and dad got me. My sister basically got given everything she ever wanted, no questions asked. Mom's second husband made sure that my sister never went without. My dad also showered my sister with an unending series of gifts. Meanwhile, I was reduced to stealing for food when I was 12 and had to start working when I was 14.

    My sister was given four (4) cars by my dad. She totalled each one within weeks of receiving them. Dad also gave her a credit card that he paid off in full every month with no questions asked. Me? I had to pay for my own clothes, shoes, and medical care - all on the $4/hour I earned washing dishes at IHOP or working at the pharmacy.

    Years later, my sister would accuse me of having no morals because I am gay. She, however, saw no moral complications from giving the entire high school football team a blow job -- in sequence -- for "team spirit". She's also been divorced twice, declared bankruptcy twice, and probably had more than a thousand different sexual partners in a lifetime. But she sees me as the "sinner" because I'm gay (three partners EVER and happily on my first and only marriage).

    Then there's the religion issue. She's Catholic. I'm Wiccan. She tells people that I'm an atheist and that I don't believe in God. (I most certainly believe in God -- just the Wiccan view of deity is simply different than the Chriastian view of deity).

    My sister stole several thousand dollars from my grandmother and never apologized nor repaid her. She gets men to buy stuff for her. She herself owes over $70k in credit card bills with nothing to show for it.

    She spent six years being a useless junkie (she's been drug-free about fifteen years or so). She takes no ownership whatsoever that one of her two children was born with terrible birth defects because of her drug use. She actually abandoned her son in Tennessee when it became inconvenient to raise a special-needs child. She ridicules her daughter for being "fat" all the time (she's a little chubby, but hardly what I would call morbidly obese). She promised to help take care of my terminally-ill mother but instead abandoned her on Christmas Eve.

    She gloats over how her IQ is 20 points higher than mine (I tested out as the least intelligent member of my family and no one ever let me forget that.) However, she's the one that is completely unable to hang on to a job, a marriage, a phone service, a son, or a car. She may be smart but she has done NOTHING with her life except lie, cheat, steal, and screw. She gets by through life solely on guile, charm, manipulation, and sexual prowess. I don't think she understands that someday she will be old and will lose her looks.

    She hasn't contacted me since Christmas. My guess is that she finally believes me that I am not rich. I pay my bills on time and don't cheat anyone, but I usually don't have much money leftover once the bills are paid.

    Needless to say, we don't have much in common.

  7. #7


    I hate to go off topic... but, how did your younger brother get ahold of thirty thousand dollars? You're 19, so your younger brother must be... high school age at most? I'm 16 and I have like... 300 dollars lol. Did your brother win the lottery or something?

  8. #8


    Quote Originally Posted by Catperson View Post
    I hate to go off topic... but, how did your younger brother get ahold of thirty thousand dollars? You're 19, so your younger brother must be... high school age at most? I'm 16 and I have like... 300 dollars lol. Did your brother win the lottery or something?
    Inheritance. Simple as that. There was a thread about it already. The OP was really angry about it, knowing the guy would squander it.

    I'm 18 and have about 4k + about 1.5k that needs to be cashed, and planning on selling something for another 10k. Don't underestimate youth.

  9. #9
    Butterfly Mage


    None of my four grandparents who died, nor any aunt or uncle who died ever left me a flippin' penny.

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