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Thread: Talking to women

  1. #1

    Default Talking to women

    I know it's been brought up before but I have so much trouble talking to women and when I ever do ask someone out I'm under the influence I need advice please.

  2. #2


    If you don't want to do the whole bar scene, your best bet is to join a club/gym or meet people through your job - common interests are a good way to avoid forced conversation. It also means you escape the stigma of trying to "pull" in a bar - you can actually focus on just normal conversation without an ulterior motive - it will make both you and the female more relaxed!

    Other than that, be yourself, don't try and be who you think people want you to be. And practice - just strike up conversation in a supermarket, shop, restaurant etc; any way to feel more comfortable around them?

  3. #3


    Here's what you do bro. Think about it this way, if she says no, you'll always have another chance. Don't pretend to be someone else either, if you have to pretend to be someone you're not to get a girl you don't want that girl :P

    And don't just go off looks either, it all goes for personality as well. I'd rather have someone butt ugly then having someone who's dumber than a doorbell.

  4. #4


    Talking to girls is easier than it seems. The harder you try, the less likely you are too succeed. Paradoxical for sure, but women can tell wen your trying to hard and it makes you come off as needy. If you are trying to pick up on a girl, only show mild interest, like you don't need her. Feel important and talk important without talking yourself up, as this will display confidence and women love confidence. Don't ask 20 questions, otherwise it would just be an interview, rather, be playful. She says something about herself, play with it, throw it back at her without being mean. An example would be, if she is talking about what she's wearing and how she doesn't particularly like it, you can say something like "did your mom pick that our for you?" with a smile of course. David DeAngelo calls it "cocky and funny" and seriously, it works. My girlfriends puts it in a more philosophical way, "make a girl laugh and you can make a girl love."

    To sum it all up, enjoy yourself, and show the woman that she can enjoy herself with you.

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by eeyore View Post
    If you don't want to do the whole bar scene
    seriously. I was in the same boat as the original poster. Had trouble being social, confident, blah blah blah. When I hit 21, I went straight to the bars and jumped into that scene and managed to grab (warning: gushy) probably the love of my life. In a matter of 24 hours I went from quiet and shy to confident and I haven't looked back. Don't drink dangerous amounts, don't slur, don't stagger, don't get addicted or do it often! And don't let it be a clutch. But if you meet someone drunk and then take them out later to get a few drinks, that's the awkward first date down and alcohol basically acted as a guide, not a clutch. It was something in common that you both enjoy and can bond over.

    It doesn't work for everyone, but even my friends that don't usually drink have great success at the bar. Try it. Let alcohol throw your inhibitions to the wind. I often advocate the liquor helps you be your true self that's hiding behind social stigma. Just try to enjoy going out with friends, be safe and don't drive.

    Unless you're drinking underage? Then wait a few years if you can't overcome being shy before then.

  6. #6


    For what it's worth, because I'm a bit different in a couple of ways (on account of me being a lesbian/adhd/geek girl ) -

    .. there's only one thing that I could possibly think of.
    It's Just be yourself. It's a cliché, but a very true one.

    Try not to think of women as beings wholly other than you are. There is much more that you have in common with women than you may realise.
    If you concentrate on what you share instead of the how you differ (even though those differences are probably what attracts you most ) - it may be easier to find common ground and something to talk about in a natural way.

    You don't have to pretend anything or play a role. I think that practically every girl / woman likes to talk to guys who feel comfortable about themselves and show some interest in you as a person.

  7. #7


    Right off the bat if you dont plan on calling the woman a mean name or hitting on her crudely in the first conversation, you are probably a decent guy. Often I'm just as nervous talking to a guy. Have something interesting to say, nothing is worse than hearing a dude mumble about nothing. And if the girl isn't interested in talking to ya, it might not be anything you did One more tip, how would you like to be talked to? If you don't want a chick fawning over you and dishing out compliments, don't bring that to her. Self confidence is both necessary and sexy in a man. Who cares if ya mess up, it's not like anybody is going to focus on that for very long.

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