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Thread: Was Goodbye, Now Giving it Another Shot

  1. #1

    Default Was Goodbye, Now Giving it Another Shot


    I'm leaving adisc. Not because I don't like it here but because don't think this is the right place for me after all. I'll try to explain this, so the members who befriended me know why I left.

    I came here (and on a similar Dutch forum) because I thought that the incontinence support an abdl communities could benefit much more from one another. I think that the abdl community had created possibilities for ic folk that had otherwise not happened.

    Unfortunately, I'm sometimes hopelessly naive. In this case I didn't realise how strong the sexual feelings/emotions are that some dl folk can have. I noticed over the past few days that my tendency to bring up issues that are to me very light hearted and definitely not sexual in nature DID in fact stir strong feelings in some guys that I had not anticipated. In one case this was reason to doubt my intentions, and that really gave me a nasty shock, not in the last place because I can all too well imagine that. I've been there before: just in very different situations.*I'm just not aware of the sexual feelings that I can stir up by what I consider completely neutral.*

    I realise these things only when it's too late.**Because I really have a hard time imagining these sorts of feelings beforehand, there is no guarantee that this wont happen time and again. And I don't want that. I don't want others to feel bad because of something that I did.

    Therefore I think it's best that I leave altogether. I'm sorry about it. I don't know what else I can do.

    Thanks and all the best,

  2. #2

  3. #3


    well this always happens but i hope you dont think anything bad of a ADISC. and if at anytime you feel like coming back well always be here.

  4. #4



    no, I definitely don't think bad of adisc or anyone specific.
    It's me. I should have known better.
    Know that saying: "fools rush in where wise men (women) never tread" - consider me the fool in this case.
    Knowing myself to have this blind spot, I should avoid going in places where I am prone to run into these sorts of situations.

    I've had almost the same thing when I was just going out. I have always been very "touchy-feely" because for me this is how I love to express myself. It's nothing sexual either; it is the same as children do.
    My problem is that if I don't really think twice with every step that I take, I also tend to be touchy-feely with people for whom this is a bit more than it is to me, and who take how I act as an invitation.
    I've had a few such situations that I still feel very bad about, because I really have hurt someone's feelings because I could not return what he felt. He was angry with me because he said I had encouraged him, which I - with hindsight - can understand very well. It just never occurred to me at the time itself.

    I saw some things like that happening - not here, but at that dutch forum. And that's why I think that I better go.

  5. #5


    We can benefit from each other, where we have common aims and interests. Diaper reviews, feedback to the manufacturers to improve products, information on product care and purchasing. The abdl community has already helped the IC community by revealng a market for thick, thirsty diapers, the Bambinos and Cushies made specifically for abdl's, and getting a wider product range available.

    Obviously where the abdl and IC communities have common members, ones in it for both fun and need, that segment is better off.

    But where we don't have a common viewpoint, we must face that fundamentally, we like ([like? are obsessed by and crave] diapers and the IC community hates being tied to diapers. They are something in a person's life the person would rather be rid of. It seems disrespectful when we appear to imply IC are lucky, and do not treat their various disabilities with respect, treating those things as somehow "good" when the IC's regard them as "bad."

    These are contrary paradigms. Mutual respect for each other's likes and wants is difficult under this circumstance; our likes and wants constitute in large part our identities as persons. To embrace or hate diapers goes to the core of who the diaper wearer is, and while we can and do benefit from each other as described above, and while we may respect each other at a distance, I don't see that we can be fully united in spirit.

    We hardly hate each other. We can acknowledge each other's position, and be respectful. But at the root one group likes the thing (for strong reasons) and the other hates it for equally strong reasons.

    I think with this acknowledged we can get on, and cooperate where it is to mutual benefit... but agree to keep a happy distance where brushing up against each other's conflicting attitudes will lead to ill-feeling.

    In physics many particles attract each other at a distance but don't get on up close. Environmentalists do their work in SUV's made and powered by big polluters; they love Chevron's superior greases that keep their SUV's from breaking down while hating Chevron's leakiness.

    I like many 4chan jokes and support some of their activism (Iran, Scientology) while loathing to my core, my very core, their being mean to entities that never did them any harm: babyfurs, diaper lovers of all sorts - and doing so for the pure enjoyment of being mean.

    I an sorry if you have to go. Your reasons are your own and I respect your decision, , it may be the best course for you.

    I hope you stick around for at least a bit more, I would like to know more about your particular experiences, especially if there's anything in them we could take to improve the member experience on Adisc.

  6. #6


    Maybe naive as far as not poking around a bit more to find how to present these kinds of issues (I don't know what you posted but I can guess what happened) but I agree with Raccoon that there could be some communication between the two groups.

    At least you were brave enough to make the foray into our little corner of the world, thanks.

  7. #7


    Ok - I cooled down a bit. I'll just let it sink in for a few more days so I can figure out where it went wrong.
    Thanks very much for your replies.
    And also thank you for making me think again, and again. Maybe this experience can teach me more than I thought.

  8. #8


    Kara....take it as a learning experience. One of the benefits of a forum like this is that you can get such a wide range of opinions. We are not all the same, if we were it would be pretty boring. Hope you give it another chance.

  9. #9


    If you wanna come back, we'll be here with open arms! In the meantime, or possibly from now til the end, have a wonderful life and good luck finding what you're looking for

  10. #10


    These miscommunication and misunderstandings can happen of course, especially on the internet, and it's such a pity when it leads to hurt feelings.

    For what it's worth: I think having people like you Kara and some others (like Talula for instance) as part of ADISC adds a lot to the experience of ABDL people, because you guys can act as a kind of "holy fool" as far as ABDL goes, and that can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves. For instance this thread you started -
    reading it and writing a post in it helped me a lot in thinking about ABDL at a moment when my relationship to it felt very complex, so thank you for that.
    Since I think we have a lot to gain from you being here, I hope you'll stay; but only if you think you can gain something useful and enjoyable for you from being part of ADISC.

    In the spirit of being "touchy-feely" *hugs* - whatever you decide to do.

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