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Thread: Feeling so alone...Part of me wants to burry the Hatchet

  1. #1

    Post Feeling so alone...Part of me wants to burry the Hatchet

    Hey Guys,

    I've been feeling so alone lately every since my girl left me. Things are detrierating between me and my guardian (aunt) and i've started drinking to cope. I was feeling on top of the world for awhile because i graduated high school by two-tenths of a point, but that high has worn off. My aunt has stopped taking me to physical therapy and as a result i've lost 5 pounds of muscle mass, so i'm doing bad all around

    My Junior year of high school, i had surgery on my legs. Things were getting bad between my father and stepmother. Because i would need extensive therapy after i got released for hospital and my parents were too busy for that, i began to plead with my father asking him if i could move in with my aunt and uncle. He agreed soon after and my aunt had guardianship of my just two weeks after i was released from hospital.

    I'd started at a new school and i was seeing my parents on the weekends. About a month into the new arrangement, I had voiced to my father that i was feeling trapped and wanted out of the guardianship and i wanted to come back home. I was pretty bad shape emotionally (i had attempted suicide) and my father was willing to move me back into the house. But it all came down to one thing, money, My aunt now had rights to my SS check and my aunt had 60,000 in saving bonds for college.

    The next weekend my father had agreed to get me out out of the guardianship and get me some help but. i ended up in a fight with my stepmom and ended up having to get the cops involved (by the end of the whole thing, i had dislocated shoulder.) I did show up to court because of the fear i had that the shit that was gonna hit the fan..Little did i know, my parents didnt show up either. By NH State Law i'm required to be present in the courtroom when they extend or remove my guardianship, due to the fact my parents werent there to reclaim guardianship, the judge EXTENDED the guardianship. i was stuck and i felt abandoned

    I have had no contact with my stepmother since 2009 and i think its time to bury the hatchet...My heart needs it

    Nothing more than a rant but i could use advice and guidance

  2. #2


    Not sure what burry the hatchet means. Remember that me and all the other 17,000 (thats right, seventeen thousand) members of ADISC will be here to support you. If bury the hatchet means suicide, DONT DO IT!

  3. #3


    Bud, I'm not exactly the best of advice givers, but let me help you out as much as I can.

    Suicide is never the answer. When all seems darkest a person strives for light, and that's what you need to find. Find something to do, volunteer at a daycare or something like that. Don't turn to drugs and alcohol. Find friends that can help you, online will do, and there are tons of people here who are more than willing to help you. There is a lot to live for in life, and if it isn't looking up now, it will soon. You can never know how good life is until you strive for it to be good.

  4. #4


    burrying the hatchet is a slang for trying to start over, forgetting the past and trying to start over.

    case in point, the OP and his step mom didn't get along, it blew up and they were not on speaking terms. if he burries the hatchet, he would be the one to make contact and try to strike up a conversation, get back on speaking terms, and such

  5. #5


    You know, normally I hate people that use this expression (because they don't have a reason to say it) but for what it's worth, I am SO sorry for what you are going through right now (and that I wasn't on here a few days earlier to offer some advice and an open ear/heart).

    First of all, in regards to your girlfriend, how long were you both going out? I totally relate to losing love like that, but I can't fully understand what having a long term relationship is like because, for the majority of my life, my relationship experience has been lived vicariously through all of my frieds in high school (mainly because they always ask me for advice so I help them through their problems when I haven't even kept a g/f for over a month... odd... lol). It all goes back to the one thing no one wants to hear about relationships: You will get over it. It won't seem like it now, but no matter how amazing someone/something is in the world, you will always find something better for as long as you live. It hurts now and was the icing on the cake to an already forlorn situation, but you have to trust me when I say things will get better.

    However, they will only get better, if you try to make them better. Don't sit around and let life beat you up... Because, it will. Life is a golden gloves heavyweight boxer and it will beat the shit out of you. (Excuse my French!)

    Drinking is never a way to solve problems though. I understand that it helps you feel better by being able to pour out uninhibited emotions, but using any type of crutch that has the potential to cause a life changing/degrading addiction is NOT the way to go. Sure maybe it's controllable in the beginning and maybe you think that all those things that people say about addiction are blown out of proportion, but by using anything as a crutch you will have a tendency to rely on that to the extent of fanaticism when life gets too out of hand for you to control.

    How debilitating is the surgery that happened on your legs? are you bedridden or in a wheelchair? Normally I'd say go for a nice long walk to clear your head but it seems like you're almost trapped in your house. The best thing to do is find a way to clear your mind that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol. I'm loathe to recommend video games (because so many of my friends do nothing BUT play video games -_-) but you have to do something to take you away from your problems for a bit. Find some good movies, play some good video games, sit down with a book and read, etc. My personal favorite (because when I'm depressed I don't wanna do anything) is to turn on some music (the genre varies with my mood), sit in the corner of my room, and just think. Contemplate life. Ask yourself important life questions and work them out. I'd recommend getting some type of journal as well for these "contemplation sessions". I've often said that writing in a journal is sometimes better than talking to a person because a journal doesn't judge you. It doesn't agree or disagree and doesn't spoon feed you advice to follow like a Lemming. It simply listens. Nothing more, nothing less.

    (OK! Quick intermission before I continue on! Sorry for the really long essay, but I sincerely hope you are reading all of it. Every single word of it is written in the hopes that I can improve the quality of your life, even if that improvement is miniscule.)

    And as for suicide, DON'T DO IT! It's ok to think about becuase it allows you to realize what you'd be losing from dying. The next time you contemplate suicide, think about how life will play out without you. Imagine performing the actual act. Imagine staring down the barrel of that gun or holding those pills in your hand or the cold feel of a blade going up to your throat or even the feel of slipping that noose around your neck and then ask yourself if you could really go through with taking everything you've worked towards accomplishing in life and throwing it all away. Imagine the person who would find your dead corpse lying so still and motionless and think of the emotional distraught you just put on that person. Think of them having to tell all of your loved ones and close friends that someone who they cared about so much will never be in their lives again. Think about Death and all the things that follow so you can think about life. Put yourself through that tough emotional journey of losing a loved one and then think back to your first memory and every other one ever since. Think of every little piece of your life that only you know about that will fade away into nothing as people try to piece together who you really were. Think about all of the things you enjoyed doing in life and all of the hardships you've endured, and persisted through, and conquered, all tossed away because you couldn't take anymore.

    Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. For the sake of those you will leave behind, don't do it. But if you catch yourself thinking about it, think about all of those other things I told you about first.

    Now onto your stepmother: What exactly were you arguing about? (Feel free not to tell me if it's too personal to share). Who started the argument? Who escalated the argument? Was it really worth it to disrupt this relationship between you, your stepmom and your dad? Don't let trivial B.S. get between you and your family. Life is too short for all of that.

    All in all, I truly hope for the best for you. People here on ADISC care about each other and I care that you make it through this with as little pain as possible. You've already been through enough hurt. If you feel like the forums aren't helping you out enough, please feel free to PM me. I like helping people through their problems (as long as they're willing to help themselves) so feel free to use me as an open ear, an open heart, and a shoulder to cry on if need be. If nothing else, at least promise me you'll try and cry a lot of these emotions out. Crying doesn't actually solve anything and makes people feel feminine, but it's an underrated way to just get rid of some pent up emotions and let yourself know that you're still human and that life is bigger than you.

    *BIG HUGS!* I sincerely hope you get through this and end up being a better person because of it.
    Last edited by BigKid25; 01-Jul-2011 at 05:17. Reason: I wanted to emphasize the intermission lol

  6. #6


    If you mean suicide, DON'T DO IT!! It may seem like the answer now, but think of all the people that would be crushed if you went through with it.

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